breezy77

hello, having a hard time with this alcohol. if i don't stop...going to die. joined in October. was o.k. for a while. have anxiety issues. isolated. scared for my boys josh and jordan. just afraid. want to stop. have triggers. believe it or not it's a person who i live with, who buys it for me, who i believe is causing my stress....(ten years plus) tried to talk to them, been honest and open... although (tried over and over to get him to open up) very vague about his issues. but it's like if i don't ask for wine he seems to be bothered by this....( i know what you are going to ask me for...ha ha ha. are you o.k?..you shouldn't be drinking...type attitude..very passive aggressive) but he buys it..i have no money...i depend on him, very isolated...he's 20 years older than me.he can come and go as he please...go on trips , but i stay stuck here. he does all the shopping... pay all the bills...it is o.k. as long as everything is going in his favor , everything is fine. i have made mistakes...that's why i am here... no family...just my boys and they don't like what i am doing...i feel trapped. just need some support. very afraid. so here i am again.

GroundhogDay

You are in a very difficult situation. He is controlling you and holds all the cards. I think that you need more expert advice than I can give, but I will say that it sounds to me like this is a person who you should not trust.

coraltint

have you tried meetings, breezy? there are a lot of different formats & feels in our town, and you will get a lot of support there. sounds like you could use some friends...

glad you found us here, keep coming back!

Living

I have to agree to all that is stated above. You are in a precarious situation as far as your physical/living condition, but you still have control over your mental condition.

You can and eventually will quit, with or without him. Do it for yourself and your boys. Your long term happiness and health depends on it.

Keep posting!

least

Don't ask him to buy wine and if he does, just don't drink it. Be strong and do this for your own good as well as your kids.

Anna

That sounds like an impossible living situation. Is there any way that you can leave? Have you tried to get a job? I'm glad you want to stop drinking.

Mizzuno

The advice above is great. Have you tried AA? It does sound like you need a few friends. We are always here, and will be. If he buys the wine, you do not have to drink it.

Hevyn

Hi Breezy. I'm so sorry for what you're going through, but glad you reached out for support.

I agree that getting sober and keeping a clear head is the main thing. When we're numb & foggy it's hard to make plans or figure a way out of our situation. I hope you'll keep posting. You aren't alone.

breezy77

Thank's for your support, did drink today...need friends, since i'm so isolated. Groundhogday, Coraltint, Anna, Least, Liveordie, Mizzuno, Hevyn..Thank you so much for reaching out to me i'm blessed. need friends who understand. please stay in touch.

IslaLuna

It does sound like a tough home environment. It is sortable though, but you may find confronting the relationship easier when you have stopped drinking. Drinking can make us too afraid to make changes, and in my experience gives other people the wrong kind of control over us...our self esteem can be so low that we let them. Lots of luck, and AA can be a source of a lot of support x

Hevyn

We want to help, breezy. When I first joined SR I was still drinking - but I knew what I had to do. There is life after alcohol, I promise you. You don't need that poison in your life. I hope you'll stay with us and give sobriety a shot.

SoberForMySon

Hello, you need help, don't be afraid to seek it! We are all here for you, check out my name, I have a boy too. All the more reason to clean up!