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I guess I have to admit this, don't I?

Old 05-23-2013, 03:58 AM
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Cool I guess I have to admit this, don't I?

Grrr, I caved yesterday. That was quick. 3 days I made it. Work has been particularly stressful and the anxiety got the best of me I suppose. Excuses, excuses! Maybe this will make it easier to stay sober over the upcoming 3 day weekend. It seems the longer I go, the stronger the cravings get. Like I forget all about this icky feeling of guilt. I am really going to have to keep busy, which means getting out of the house. I need a game plan. I've only been living in this area for a couple months, so there are plenty of parks around here that I haven't taken my daughter to yet, including some awesome fountains she would absolutely love. A trip to see my parents is also in order.
I'm not giving up. Did not realize how much I would hate admitting this publicly.
Today is a new day.
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Old 05-23-2013, 04:33 AM
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Admitting it is how we start to get better. I found that making a plan & sticking to it helped me to stay sober. AA has been my recovery plan & it's working. I stay sober 1 day at a time. When I put my head on the pillow I thank God I made it through another day sober. You can do this!
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Old 05-23-2013, 05:30 AM
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I cave on stressful days as well. I'm still figuring this out like you. It doesn't help that I work in a profession where everyone drinks (heavily).
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Old 05-23-2013, 06:04 AM
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For me, deciding not to drink EVER again, was not contingent on any feelings, life circumstances, etc. When I chose to stop the madness it was with the complete understanding that "this is it. I'm done. No matter what I will never drink again and I will never change my mind".

Is it easy? Sometimes yes, sometimes no but it doesn't matter. I committed to ME and sobriety under any and all circumstances and make sure I do whatever it takes to insure I am truly done with alcohol for good.

If you really want to be clean and sober it takes a firm commitment. It is very doable and although there are ups and downs (because that's how life is) the results are nothing short of amazing.
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Old 05-23-2013, 06:10 AM
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Welcome back to the right side of the road SammerasMama

I'm with received on this one - there will always be reasons to drink - and some of them may seem pretty darn valid, but we have to make that commitment to making different choices.

We have to take drinking off the table as a viable option.

Its not always easy - it's often uncomfortable, especially in the beginning, and we need to be strong and keep hold of the faith that things will get easier - but it's so so worth it to change our lives

D
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Old 05-23-2013, 06:19 AM
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3 days is something to be proud of, even if you caved. The longest I have managed is a day and a half, so far. We just got to try harder next time. It's difficult but we keep on trying. Good luck!
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Old 05-23-2013, 07:03 AM
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My short-term goal right now is to get through the next 2 weeks, as I have two 3 day weekends ahead of me. I really like what you all say about basically not making alcohol an option because of certain life circumstances. You're right, life is not going to become perfect just b/c I don't want to drink. It's about finding other ways to deal. If I allowed myself to drink on "bad" days, I'll never really quit.
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Old 05-23-2013, 08:44 AM
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SM, well done on those three sober days and for getting back up on the horse after drinking. I know how frustrating this is as I've done the same thing in the past.

Yes, it's really helpful to realise and accept that drinking is no longer an option for us. I'm on day 55 and this time round it's really helped me to remind myself that drinking is off the table, as Dee says. We don't drink anymore. We don't drink. When things are difficult for me and my mind starts thinking about a drink, I remind myself that's not an option and I start going through all my other options.

We can do this! I am with you and I am rooting for you.
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Old 05-23-2013, 08:59 AM
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Getting through those days of the first week and weekend is tough. Try to be objective and dont beat yourself up, I think it only wears you down even more. Reading about withdrawal symptoms and the addictive voice of AVRT may help. If you have joined the daily thread group for the month you might find it really helps, it did me.
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Old 05-23-2013, 09:28 AM
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Yeah, I think early recovery is about accepting that life is not perfect and then finding new and healthy ways to deal with problems that will come along.

Planning ahead is always a good idea.
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Old 05-23-2013, 09:30 AM
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You have a plan. That's half the battle right there.

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Old 05-23-2013, 09:50 AM
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The intensity of the cravings will diminish with time, although 2 years 10 months sober they haven't entirely went away. Actually drinking/using is an option I now have but I don't consider using it at all. Giving it all up took me forever but I am better off without using, that I cannot deny. At first "admitting" things was humiliating and I was suprised how quickly I got over that. The shame and guilt have practically vanished, and the reason for that is I don't do guilty, shameful things anymore. Never giving up is the best attitude have, I didn't. Good luck, rootin for ya.
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