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I am scared

Old 05-20-2013, 07:22 PM
  # 41 (permalink)  
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Turnz505: thank you so much for the support. Last time I drank was this past Saturday. I have been getting wasted each Friday & Saturday for as long as I can remember myself & about 2 years ago I was drinking on daily basis I was soooo scared but I made it/decreased to weekend drinking. However, my weekends are spent hangover & tired at home, I do nothing else! I am excited to hear from you about being able to talk to people & socialize after just 8 days! This is great! I am sure I will get a full blown anxiety on Friday. As far as meds, thank you for the suggestion. What is 5htp? Never heard. Is St. John's Wort really helping? What do you feel it does?
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Old 05-21-2013, 01:48 AM
  # 42 (permalink)  
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Location: Cooper Landing, Alaska
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5-HTP is used for sleep disorders, depression, anxiety, generally works by increasing production of seratonin in your brain. St. Johns Wort is an herbal remedy used for centuries to help lighten your mood and although isn't "proven" or approved by FDA, has been reported by many to fight depression and anxiety. I love 5htp but have not been using it since I got sober this time, and am already feeling better without, I may start using it again as an extra "ally" but please only look into these if you are thinking about getting on sedatives or meds because meds just suck (in my opinion) but if you really need a sedative to ease withdrawal.. by all means do it, thats why people use methadone the only two drugs than can kill you from withdrawal are heroin and ALCOHOL!!

But reading over your post again, I wanted to share a bit with ya so you know I was in the same boat.. If you are like I was you have to remember that not all the times you drink are fun, easy and euphoric like our minds tend to remember.. What I have learned time and time again (hopefully this time I see the pattern and dont forget) is that it always starts innocent, a few days, maybe even a few weeks or months but always ends the same with the same results .. scared, extremely paranoid and in despair. My money would be gone, friendships tarnished and opportunites missed. I would be so hungover that I couldn't do anything, usually so anxious I wouldn't leave the house unless I was going to the liquor store, and even that was hard. Once I was drunk and had the euphoria I would lie to myself and say that life was good, and would mentally block how ****** and remorseful I had been feeling that morning and in general, and start the drinking again.. Now that I look back, I see how insane that thinking was, and damn, I'm only on day 8!!

I know what you're going through all too well, and let me tell you the first few days absolutely sucked for me. I probably came off as a nervous cynical *****, and believe me at that time I was. I was wondering if I would ever get normal again, and let me tell you I'm witnessing it happening. My personality is coming back slowly but surely, or should I say emerging because I don't know my personality other than my drunk side, which has so many faces. best thing you can when you're getting dry is tell your friends/employers whoever what you're doing and why, so they may understand why you may seem out of it the first few days. That helps and will be less pressure for you to drink.

In a week, if you tough this out, you will be feeling better. You will still feel extreme urges, I am, and even had thoughts today of grabbing a 12'er. I have to remember how ****** I felt after the 12'er and when the euphoria is gone, the hangover, and the fact that I am an alcoholic. The veterans in recovery say that over time these urges fade, but even they get them sometimes. Some people say they lose them completely. If you have urges, don't fight them, observe them as just thoughts and let them pass. grab a coke, juice or whatever and turn your mind to something productive or inspiring. It's not easy but the payoffs are extraordinary, even early in recovery as I am experiencing.

Sorry for the long post, I tend to do that, but I want you to know I understand where you are and want you to feel what I feel. Keep updating on how you're doing, I will be there for ya as much I can via the net and hope you give yourself a chance to be truly happy again.. its not easy but it's not that hard either.. you can do this!!
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