Welcome to SR Nash. You might want to check out our Friends and Family Forum, too. Many there have been through the same situation and will have suggestions & support.
I've been there too, many years ago. I hope you'll find it helps to be here with others who truly understand, & I'm sorry for the painful times you're going through.
You are so much more than the worst thing you've ever done. Fr. Greg Boyle
A little voice deep inside me said, "Hello, I am here." It was a small voice, & sounded as if it were buried underneath the cushions of my couch. It was my soul...I had forgotten it.