DisplacedGRITS

Don't worry about your kids remembering that you're going to AA meetings. I don't know how old they are but they're either young enough that daycare is daycare where ever you are or they're old enough to know that you're going to meetings to be the best mom you can be. An older child might harbor some resentment towards you for taking them to meetings but it will be a lot less resentment than if you pick up drinking again. Also, kids can play portable gaming devices for hours on end. An hour of Pokemon while you're at a meeting will fly by. Do what you need to do to stay sober. Your kids will appreciate it more than you'll ever realize.

IWillWin

Ahhhh...yes, the not talking to husband about it because of all the shame and guilt I still carry. I know he's thrilled I'm sober, and so am I, but at some point I will have to acknowledge the elephant in the room. For now, I'm planning to discuss this issue with other women in recovery and gain their insight on how to go about it.

I'm so glad to find this thread today. It is nice to know I'm not alone on the husband issue.

Welcome!!! Keep fighting and posting!! We are happy you are here!!

Ladybug2

Wow, InperfectlyMe, I felt like I was reading about myself here. I, too, am a stay -at-home mommy of a 3 yr old little girl who is my world. I was up to drinking a 1.5 liter of wine almost every night. The next morning I would tell myself "no wine today" but then it always started around 4pm. I kept thinking " I have everything I've ever wanted, why am I drinking so much?". I started feeling so ashamed thinking that I was the only mom who had this problem ..... until I came here. Welcome and know that you are not alone. Right now SR is my only support and I found joining the monthly class threads have helped. I am in April and May (slipped up a few times and only on Day 4). Keep coming here, it really does help

Tres

Welcom Imperfectly me and congrwts on your month sober! I too was a wine loving mommy. I was getting really good at reading bedtime stories with one eye closed! I didnt think my 8 yo was noticing until she said.."Why do you drink wine every day?" Plus working full time. My husband is a drinker too, so tjat made it hard to stop, but I knew one of us had to. He stillmdrinks and I mow am learning to cope with him.

I am sober 18months. SR and my womens meetings in AA have saved me. I did take my daughter to meetings. I told her it was a support group for women, thats all. I think she knows. She didnt mind going much. I did it because I had to to stay sober..

Younwill find lots of support here.

PeacefulRain

LOL I knew I was in deep doo doo at the hockey game I mentioned on the previous page when I had to watch the entire 3rd period with one eye closed!!!!

Briar

I can so relate to the posts in this thread. For me the worst part of drinking was the guilt I felt about being a drunk mama. I work full time, so the couple hours in the evening are the only time I have to spend with my daughter during the week. I felt like I was cheating her, and I felt isolated from my whole family. I am 50 days sober tomorrow, and I have a lot more confidence in myself as a parent now. My little girl only has one mama, and she deserves better than a scattered drunk mess.

ImperfectlyMe

Wow wow wow I can't believe it took me over a month to find this site in 24 hours I have had more people understand me then in 24 years maybe a meeting would be good. I don't know..... Maybe this sound completely rediculous but I always thought I won't fit in at meeting I'm this suburban mom. But I'm now learning I may just be the majority demographic there!

I always here moms say ahhhh thank god it's almost 4 or 5 so maybe there are more of us consealing our baggage then I thought

Thank you all for you kind words empathy and compassion I hope I can do the same in return

DisplacedGRITS

The diversity of people you find at AA is astounding. My group has a lot of college age students, moms, dads, oldtimers, newbies...we come from all walks of life. We normally would not mix but the fellowship of AA is a common bond we share. Be sure to find a group with some women in it and seek them out. Having sober girlfriends has really made my life a lot less lonely.

deeker

Congrats on 50 days! Way to go!

deeker

(Me) Just another suburban drunk mom. Meetings you'll fit right in with us.

My son is 22 in November, wish i could get those years back, but u still can turn it around.

ImperfectlyMe

Starting day day 33 it's 5 am and I'm awake and sipping coffee without a shaky head or feeling of guilt. Everyone's asleep and it feels so good to feel good!

When does the euphoria of sobriety go away? I'm a seed that this is all still so new and exciting like a shiney new toy. Wondering if the novelty is going to wear off? Or is this the life without booze?

ebshot

Congrats on 33 days. You are amazing.

I am a stay at home mom too. I drank everyday and wine/beer was my best friend. I'll second the motion to not discount therapy or AA. Both have been a huge part of my sobriety. My husband was deployed when I got sober so I used the childcare at AA. My kids are older (12, 10 and 9) so they are very aware of what's going on. I can tell you that they were all very proud and encouraging when I picked up my 9 month chip on Thursday. They also seem to like going to meetings. It let's the kids know they are not alone.

Keep up the great work InperfectlyMe!

ImperfectlyMe

Ebshot firstly wow 9 months that's amazing it's like you carried your sobriety baby for nine months that is hugly encouraging!
I know my kids must if been aware of my drinking although I thought I hid it well. I can defintely say they are very aware of my not drinking. I was never a bad mom quite the contrary I always over compensated giving way more of myself then I could. And now that I am giving myself the love care and compassion I would give one if my kids I am now thriving! A work in progress all I can do is stay clear headed and remember that not taking care of me is not taking care if my kids!

ru12

It is so great that you are now sober! I regret the time I missed with my kids too and am extremely grateful that they are forming new memories of their father sober. I love my sobriety! Our family went out to dinner recently and a nice Italian resteraunt and the couple next to us went through two bottles of wine with dinner. I got to watch them change, become loud, argumentative and all of that. I felt sad for them there they were still caught in the alcohol trap and truly grateful that I didn't have to do that anymore. And was present with my family and I could drive them home knowing I wasn't compromising their safety.

Welcome to SR!

PeacefulRain

I'm off to my niece's 1st birthday party today. I love the fact that my first thought was I hope they have iced tea and it wasn't I hope they have booze!!

ImperfectlyMe

Happy Mother's Day to all those mommies out there!!

ImperfectlyMe

Today is the 37th day of a clear head! In one way it seems so big and the I read people who are 14 years then it feels so Minascule. But either way I'm going to continue living sober.

In the last 2 weeks as the cravings have lessened I have thought about coyld I drink again and each time I come up with the same answer HELL NO!! I honestly never want to be drunk again. I'm not sure how I could have ever enjoyed it. I know in not "cured" and still have a long journey on this path of recovery but today I feel strong confident and much more powerful then a few drinks! I'm sure there will be dark days hell that could happen in an hour, but right now in this moment I'm enjoying the feeling of freedom from wanting to drink!

auden67

Regarding talking to your husband, I have just sort of introduced small thoughts in casual conversation with my BF to check in and let him know how I am doing. He was the inspiration for my sobriety (though my health was the driving reason) and he has been a good support without being "all up in it." I come to SR everyday to read, give support, and reflect. I know the shame is terrible right now, but it does fade as you get some time and confidence under your belt. Just remember that your self-worth is not granted by what you do, but is the nature of your humanity. You are a beautiful, alive, and worthy person. The good you give back to your family and the world is gratitude. I try to think about that when the shame cycle is trapping me, or making me feel like some broken person. Have you ever read Brene Brown? I really like her writings on vulnerability.

You are so not alone! Almost one year ago I was hiding bottles behind the flour bags too. So many of us here.

ivegotsunshine

I'm happy to hear you are taking steps for a better life! Sobriety is a lot of work. It's is hard to do on your own. There will be days that seem to last forever. Dys and moments you may be having a hard time keeping your cool. I would strongly encourage you to talk to your husband. If he doesn't know now difficult throw is for you be won't be able to help you. You helped him come back from his illness it's time for him to help you.
Peace to you, and be well. Xoxo

ivegotsunshine

When I decided to quit it was 12-29-12. I took my husband out for dinner New Year's Day to tell him I was an alcoholic. He couldn't see where I was coming from. He didn't see me the way I saw myself. He said I just need to moderate more that I don't need to quit. We had talked about this many times in the past but I was never so committed.
I gave him reason after reason I should quit. It was t until I told him I forget things, and that sometimes I wasn't sure if certain things had really happened or if I had imagined them (scary right?) that he started to take me seriously. He had no clue how much I drank.
He sees the changes in me and I think he likes them. He has been a tremendous support for me And has been so very patient.