Day 3
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2013
Location: California
Posts: 2
Day 3
Found this website while googling night sweats, and I actually think its exactly what I need right now.
I have been sober for 3 days now (well technically i was residually drunk on day 1) and an alcoholic for about 3 years now, my husband is too. Geez, if I try to think about all the embarrassing crap I've done in the last couple years it makes me want to scream. I take shots till i black out, but i never pass out, i just run around drunk and blacked out doing god knows what.
I black out so often I feel like I can't remember anything anymore. I lost my very very very best friend last year because I "made out" with her husband while I was drunk. I have embarrassed myself multiple times in front of my people by getting drunk at thanksgivings, meetings, birthdays, etc. I've pretty much embarrassed myself everywhere.
I have two kids who I have put at risk by being so irresponsible. The oldest one is 7, and she already knows what "drunk" is.
My husband and I have known we are drunks for a long time, we even kind of joke about it. I think my husband actually thinks the way I act when I'm drunk is "cute" and he is usually the one offering me more alcohol.
But on Sunday I finally realized I need to quit. We had gone to a friends party for their 2 year old, and my husband and I both blacked out (usually my husband doesn't) and we both have no idea what happened that night. We woke up the next day and my husband had wet the guest bed we were in (and ruined his new iPhone). That had never happened to us either. We also didn't even know where our kids were. THANK GOD our friend was not drinking and was so good to our kids and put them in pajamas and took care of them and tucked them in bed. I won worst parent ever award. So many bad things could have happened to my girls. Thankfully my friend is a better mom than me. Anyways I realize that I have to quit drinking before I do something to really ruin my or my kids life. I want to be a good mom. So my husband and I made a pack to quit drinking. Since then I wake up soaking wet every couple hours and I feel so clammy and cold and wet even though its been a nice warm day today. But I guess that is normal and will pass soon. I don't even crave alcohol because I am just so ashamed about my behavior lately.
I have been sober for 3 days now (well technically i was residually drunk on day 1) and an alcoholic for about 3 years now, my husband is too. Geez, if I try to think about all the embarrassing crap I've done in the last couple years it makes me want to scream. I take shots till i black out, but i never pass out, i just run around drunk and blacked out doing god knows what.
I black out so often I feel like I can't remember anything anymore. I lost my very very very best friend last year because I "made out" with her husband while I was drunk. I have embarrassed myself multiple times in front of my people by getting drunk at thanksgivings, meetings, birthdays, etc. I've pretty much embarrassed myself everywhere.
I have two kids who I have put at risk by being so irresponsible. The oldest one is 7, and she already knows what "drunk" is.
My husband and I have known we are drunks for a long time, we even kind of joke about it. I think my husband actually thinks the way I act when I'm drunk is "cute" and he is usually the one offering me more alcohol.
But on Sunday I finally realized I need to quit. We had gone to a friends party for their 2 year old, and my husband and I both blacked out (usually my husband doesn't) and we both have no idea what happened that night. We woke up the next day and my husband had wet the guest bed we were in (and ruined his new iPhone). That had never happened to us either. We also didn't even know where our kids were. THANK GOD our friend was not drinking and was so good to our kids and put them in pajamas and took care of them and tucked them in bed. I won worst parent ever award. So many bad things could have happened to my girls. Thankfully my friend is a better mom than me. Anyways I realize that I have to quit drinking before I do something to really ruin my or my kids life. I want to be a good mom. So my husband and I made a pack to quit drinking. Since then I wake up soaking wet every couple hours and I feel so clammy and cold and wet even though its been a nice warm day today. But I guess that is normal and will pass soon. I don't even crave alcohol because I am just so ashamed about my behavior lately.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,512
Hi and Welcome,
The shame and guilt is usually hard to deal with in early recovery. I found it almost overwhelming and couldn't imagine getting through it. But, I did, and you will too. It's good to hear that you want to be a good Mom.
The shame and guilt is usually hard to deal with in early recovery. I found it almost overwhelming and couldn't imagine getting through it. But, I did, and you will too. It's good to hear that you want to be a good Mom.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,784
The shame and guilt will lessen in time, the longer you're sober. You can rebuild your life to be what you want it to be, but it will take some effort on your part. I'm glad you found us and joined the family! 
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: NY
Posts: 149
welcome to SR, there are plenty of good people who can give you support. i couldnt have asked for a better place to find support other than here in my local city. dont give up on your dream to be a better mom, the toughest days i hate to say are ahead of you. stay strong and try to remember once you weather the storm everything will be nice and calm on the other side. sobriety is a gift and is beautiful not a curse or a burden. i wish you luck on your journey. 
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