Almost Forgot
Almost Forgot
2 months sober today. I've done 4 months last year but this time it feels different. Last time a part of me was not letting go. This time all of me let it go. It's such a relief. I'm still vigilant. I simply can't drink anymore. Move on. I'm sure I'll get urges, I've had fond memories but I don't know, it just feels like it's over. Is this common? I know it's only 2 months but it feels like much longer.
Yesterday morning I crashed my bicycle on my way to work. Pretty hard too. Got up, shook it off. Biked the rest of the way in. Had my wife pick me up after work, I was super sore. Huge lump on my hip and my shoulder is wonky. Been hobbling around all day. But it was just now that I realized that in the past I would be nursing my wounds with copious amounts of beer. This time it didn't even cross my mind. And then I remembered I'm starting month number three. I don't really care to drink again.
Yesterday morning I crashed my bicycle on my way to work. Pretty hard too. Got up, shook it off. Biked the rest of the way in. Had my wife pick me up after work, I was super sore. Huge lump on my hip and my shoulder is wonky. Been hobbling around all day. But it was just now that I realized that in the past I would be nursing my wounds with copious amounts of beer. This time it didn't even cross my mind. And then I remembered I'm starting month number three. I don't really care to drink again.
That's so awesome 0percentABV Well done!
I think staying sober through crashing you bike is really indicative of how well you're doing too. It may sound daft to some people but things like that really made me wanna drink, missing the bus, getting caught in the rain, hurting myself, breaking something. Even tiny things made me get really big cravings. So getting through a fairly big thing is sheer genius x
I think staying sober through crashing you bike is really indicative of how well you're doing too. It may sound daft to some people but things like that really made me wanna drink, missing the bus, getting caught in the rain, hurting myself, breaking something. Even tiny things made me get really big cravings. So getting through a fairly big thing is sheer genius x
Agree with hypochondriac --getting through stresses without reaching for the bottle is a big indication of mental transformation.
Midway through my sobriety I got the flu. It was the REAL flu running a temperature and a long, annoying recuperation. And it was shortly after I started going to the gym, so I had been feeling GOOD and then all of a sudden life slammed me one. Normally I console myself with drinking when I am sick. After all, it's ALCOHOL so it cleans and dries everything out, right? That's my rationalization. This time I didn't. That's how I KNOW I am dead serious about maintaining my sobriety. Excuses aren't getting in. I even told the doctor "I don't drink" HAH! THAT FELT GOOD!
Midway through my sobriety I got the flu. It was the REAL flu running a temperature and a long, annoying recuperation. And it was shortly after I started going to the gym, so I had been feeling GOOD and then all of a sudden life slammed me one. Normally I console myself with drinking when I am sick. After all, it's ALCOHOL so it cleans and dries everything out, right? That's my rationalization. This time I didn't. That's how I KNOW I am dead serious about maintaining my sobriety. Excuses aren't getting in. I even told the doctor "I don't drink" HAH! THAT FELT GOOD!
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: "I'm not lost for I know where I am. But however, where I am may be lost ..."
Posts: 5,273
I'm sure I'll get urges, I've had fond memories but I don't know, it just feels like it's over. Is this common? I know it's only 2 months but it feels like much longer
I can't explain it. When I woke up that day 2 months ago getting ready to go to my first (and so far last) AA meeting I just knew that it was over. I've been down the quitting road before, twice in the past year, took a couple "breaks" throughout the years and for a long time tried to regulate myself, but when I woke up I didn't feel guilty even though the night before I messed up. I didn't feel scared or sad I just felt like it was over and I don't need to worry anymore. Even talking to my wife and letting her know that I've been sneaking booze those last few months, she was mad as heck, but I was like, "sorry honey, but it's over now." And she had every right to not believe me and I understood. I just felt a calmness and peace. Ever see that movie "Office Space" where the lead got hypnotized? That's how I felt the first couple weeks. I felt good. Still feel good, minus my shoulder and massive bruise on my hip.
Alcohol occupied a big space in my life, mentally and physically. Knowing that it is out of the way I can move forward with whatever I want to do, or not want to do. I am finally in the drivers seat. I don't have to worry about when I can fit booze into my daily routine. I don't have to worry about how much money I am spending on it. I don't have to worry about how much weight it is adding to me. I don;t have to worry about how I will feel the next day. I don't have to worry about getting through the day. I don't have to worry about if I bought enough. I don't have to worry how I will get more. I don't have to worry about drinking too much. I don't have to worry about getting caught. I don't have to hid it. I don't have to worry about how it's effecting my health. It's not getting in the way of my activities. I don't have to lug around a backpack to carry it in. Our eating out bills are not 20 dollars more because of just a few drinks. I have the green light to do whatever I want on weekends because I'm not hungover. I'm not hungover at all. My wife finds me more attractive, my kids have a clean a sober father and my friends are super proud of me. I'm much better at my job, I'm starting to get back into some old hobbies. I have a new lease on life and the ONLY way I got it was by quitting drinking and wanting to stay that way. I wish I could tell people how to want it because I believe wanting it is the key. But it just happened for me. And hey, I could flip anytime. I am not that naive. But I am not concerning myself with that. I'm looking forward. I have a lot to accomplish now. I WANT this.
Alcohol occupied a big space in my life, mentally and physically. Knowing that it is out of the way I can move forward with whatever I want to do, or not want to do. I am finally in the drivers seat. I don't have to worry about when I can fit booze into my daily routine. I don't have to worry about how much money I am spending on it. I don't have to worry about how much weight it is adding to me. I don;t have to worry about how I will feel the next day. I don't have to worry about getting through the day. I don't have to worry about if I bought enough. I don't have to worry how I will get more. I don't have to worry about drinking too much. I don't have to worry about getting caught. I don't have to hid it. I don't have to worry about how it's effecting my health. It's not getting in the way of my activities. I don't have to lug around a backpack to carry it in. Our eating out bills are not 20 dollars more because of just a few drinks. I have the green light to do whatever I want on weekends because I'm not hungover. I'm not hungover at all. My wife finds me more attractive, my kids have a clean a sober father and my friends are super proud of me. I'm much better at my job, I'm starting to get back into some old hobbies. I have a new lease on life and the ONLY way I got it was by quitting drinking and wanting to stay that way. I wish I could tell people how to want it because I believe wanting it is the key. But it just happened for me. And hey, I could flip anytime. I am not that naive. But I am not concerning myself with that. I'm looking forward. I have a lot to accomplish now. I WANT this.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)