DroPsoJuPiTeR

Hi, I am new here but not new to the situation Im in... Last Wednesday my Husband checked himself into inpatient rehab for 28 days.We are going to visit for the first time today, maybe bring some eggs for him to color with the kids... I am just hoping that they dont get as upset as the night we brought him there... because it has been hard but they are getting better at not being so upset he isnt around. and i dont want them to go backwards its heartbreaking. as far as him he is in there for alcohol and crack.... he was in outpatient rehab and still getting high and fooled us all so good he wants to go get help i just dont know how many times i can put my kids through something like this. first time in rehab but not the first time his addiction has affected our lives. i feel like yeah im teaching them to stand by your marriage but im also teaching them its ok to be treated the way he treats me by a man. i will be damned if i have my daughters marry a man like theirfather.. he has a good heart but his addiction causes him to be impossible to be around. criticizing belittling blah blah blah. i get so much moreaccomplished withouthim here. not wondering where the hell he is and why dont we have any money. i love him but i think its near the end for us
thanks for listening

Odelle

I am so sorry that you and your family are going through this. I think you will get a lot of support from people in similar situations on the Friends and Family thread of SR Friends and Family of Alcoholics - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information. Take care of yourself and your kids!

least

Living with an alcoholic/addict takes its toll on the partners. You must do whatever is best for you and your kids. Take good care of yourself please.

Welcome to SR!

Richierich777

Good for you. Taking eggs. My wife said the same thing. Don't want kids marrying someone like me. I understand. Good he got help

Anna

I'm sorry for what your family is going through, and I hope that husband continues to work on his recovery.

DroPsoJuPiTeR

thanks for your replies... yesterday went better than i thought it would when it was time to leave, so i will let the kids see him when its time to visit again... he wasnt allowed to dye the eggs so we just brought them home and added them to the ones we were going to dye anyway... i dreaded being alone on easter without him to share, even being alone in general for a month with the kids without him,,, i have this fear of having to raise the kids on my own like my mom had to do when my father died (i was 9) but hubby isnt dead and we are doing okay.... and i probably could do it on my own if i had to... without him if he relapses again. not to punish him, but to get my kids out of that kind of situation and break the cycle.. hes a grown man and yes he is sick and i empathise with him there but he CAN make his decisions and is learning how to cope and live life while in rehab and has AA when he gets out and is not new to this stuff, thats his responsibility. my responsibility is the kids and to make good choices , they cant make the choices so whatever i choose or he chooses impacts them and has impacted them whether good or bad and i want gooooood for them no more bad and this has shown me that im going to struggle and probably be in poverty or near it but i would rather be that way and have my kids know what to expext everyday instead of having their life ripped apart every time he comes clean after being impossible to be around till it explodes .... honestly i hope i have the courage to walk the walk if he relapses and it tears our life apart again ... its like i get weak out of fear but i think i can do it i have to for my girls im teaching them how to live and how life should be and this isnt the way it should be. also we used to go to church and things were so awesome and of course when we stopped going is when things slowly started to spiral downward.... im doing some reading and working on myself again things are still alittle negative without him here the kids fight with each other i know its normal but they learn what they see and i know its got to get better than this. so i guess if i lead by example and start changing the way i think and see things and react to things that maybe they will start picking up good things and calm things and vibes and sloooowly start to have more positive than negative atmosphere here.... then we will have the part when its time for daddy to come home and i will be second guessing myself on what to do or say or what the kids can do ... he was always like turn the tv down or stop jumping around... always different when daddys home i tend to let them be kids and we would put music on or play just dance on the wii and they would listen to him more than me so maybe i am more lenient but i feel kids should be able to have fun and relax in their own home.... another thing we arent on the same page with alot of things. alot of talking has to be done communication was another thing lacking here....i know im rambling just have to get it all out to clear my mind ...thanks for lisstening i do have more to say but will save it for anotheer time

DroPsoJuPiTeR

i think i might be posting in the wrong part, i am new to recovery for my own recovery but maybe this section is for the people who are recovering from alcohol/drug use first hand? i will copy and repost in friends and family thanks and sorry'