tansed

Hi all

stumbled apon this fourm by chance or maybe faith by just typing finding it hard to accept life on lifes terms..thats where im at into my nearly 6th year in recovery. im 33 and have a lots going for me since i put down the alcohol, started driving, met a new girls ( still together somehow) and now doing a degree in social care... you would think this is alot to be happy about but its this thing between my shoulders that gives me a daily battle to adapt,accept intergrate into society.

Im truly baffled, ive also had anxiety, my father is also a member of AA for many years but we have had our diffferences and grew a huge attachment to my mpther which is still hard to break. My mother and father only seperated after him 20 years sober and them 38 years married. so now its my mother,gf and myself living under the same roof.

ive gone through the steps, went to counselling non stop for three years while on anti-depressants off them only a while, ive still a list of fears as long as my arm and feel seriously stuck even after this length in AA , things with the gf are gone stale think it could be over but afraid to admit it or change anything..I dunno really this are kind up in the air and anxiety about exams in may and me being someone who had such a negative experience of school. Im isolating alot from people as its easier for me to do im not great at all with social situations I pretty much fake it to make it and always have.,Im really getting tired trying to the point of breaking down as im running out of ideas!!.My sponsor also dies last year of cancer so that was tuff also.. anyway rant over its hard being optimistic when you are pesimistic :-(

David

least

to the family! I hope we can help you feel better about yourself and your recovery. There's a lot of support and friendship here.

tansed

cheers feeling at home already :-)

least

This is a very friendly place.

Dee74

welcome tansed

D

Hevyn

Pleased to meet you, David. I hope telling your story will help with the anxiety you're feeling. It's good you aren't just trying to ignore those emotions you've been having. It's best to get it out in the open and come up with some solutions.

We're happy to have you here - congratulations on your 6 sober years - that is fantastic.

tansed

cheers guys...you would think I should be further in my recovery but unfortunatly my thought differ sometimes...but no two days are the same!

Anna

Welcome!

It's always hard to make changes in our lives, but you said you feel stuck. Why not make one small decision about what you'd like to change and make it happen. Changing one thing can have a ripple effect.

I hope you start to feel better soon.

tansed

Thank you Anna by just talking to fellow members and reaching out also is a starting point sometimes strangers help in the strangest of ways :-)

deeker

Maybe you need to talk with your doctor about the meds. Maybe you still need them. I write down the feelings I have when I am on the meds when I experience changes in mood so he can adjust them accordingly. Did you have a support group besides your sponsor?

Depression is real and so is anxiety. Sometimes you just can't think yourself out of it but AA or back to counseling with someone else to give you a fresh perpspective may help. Ask your doc. Wish you the very best!

tansed

yea ive been wanting to come off them for a long time and decided to myself , my doc knows ive wanted to come off them as im on a really low ml..inside is pretty much screaming at the moment with life on its terms as the challenges I find myself in pretty much push my anxiety high..that escape feeling today is really evident to me its rampant..trip to the doc maybe a good idea

deeker

What step are you applying to this anxiety and frustration you are going through. If you had a sponsee, what would you tell them to do if they were you right now. Maybe The Serenity prayer, maybe the Story Acceptance is the Answer. Maybe the part of How it works when it goes into Step 3 talking about alkies and being actors in a show and trying to control all the players.

You have the tools right?

tansed

not applying very much at the moment, been just a bad few weeks etc Im well aware of having tools just when your in a tuff place its hard to pull them out..ill be fine im sure it will pass

deeker

I do know that tansed. Right now I should go to a meeting, it's been a few days and I really need one. usually pain is a great motivator for me.

tansed

sure get to a meeting and hope you also feel the rewards of getting a meeting :-)

deeker

I think we may be having a meeting right now. Just takes two right? lol

Hey wanna do something lighthearted to make you giggle? Jump in on one of the interactive word games. They are really funny. Go to Interactive word games forum.

Threshold

It seems people tend to cycle in life, and hit plateaus in all areas of life from time to time...growth spurt...then...

I hope joining SR will help you get some forward momentum going, but it might take just a little time. Sounds like you're blah but not complacent..maybe another run through the steps?

I have found many times that the thing that was supposed to work wonders for me...didn't seem to get me anywhere. Admitting what I really wanted and didn't want for my life way down deep inside has been helpful, and sometimes shocking.