Stops and starts....sputters and spits
A simple guy making his way
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Maine
Posts: 7,867
Stops and starts....sputters and spits
Learning to drive a stick shift... An old stick shift to be particular... Like on my 72 Gremlin hatchback.... Burnt orange color and all mine. I did not have anyone in my life at the time that could teach me but I got in and tried to drive ... literally everywhere!
I spit and sputtered down the road. I stalled and stopped and freely rolled. Hey! That rhymes!
Anyway I think you can see the analogy.
I have been here so many times. Most times silently hiding the pain. Not sure I could again admit anything. Not wanting to be yet another post of desperation. Of what I thought was failure.
Failure is in the eye of the beholder... To some degree. The fact I was back here yearning for sobriety. Pleading with myself to stop. Praying for a miracle to save me.
With every new attempt. Starts and stops, spits and sputters... I am here. Sober.
There are no guarantees on tomorrow. We all know that. That Acme piano can fall from the sky at any time. But once I learned to coordinate myself. Push the clutch in at the right time to change my gears and get momentum. I found I could actually stay sober at times that seemed impossible. I am not perfect. But I accept the learning process as it is.
I spit and sputtered down the road. I stalled and stopped and freely rolled. Hey! That rhymes!
Anyway I think you can see the analogy.
I have been here so many times. Most times silently hiding the pain. Not sure I could again admit anything. Not wanting to be yet another post of desperation. Of what I thought was failure.
Failure is in the eye of the beholder... To some degree. The fact I was back here yearning for sobriety. Pleading with myself to stop. Praying for a miracle to save me.
With every new attempt. Starts and stops, spits and sputters... I am here. Sober.
There are no guarantees on tomorrow. We all know that. That Acme piano can fall from the sky at any time. But once I learned to coordinate myself. Push the clutch in at the right time to change my gears and get momentum. I found I could actually stay sober at times that seemed impossible. I am not perfect. But I accept the learning process as it is.
Sobriety is Traditional
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Orcas Island, Washington
Posts: 9,067
My mother taught me to drive, 72 Toyota Corolla. Come to think of it, she taught me to drink too...
Unlearning it was the hard part.
(Oh, the analogies are getting thick around here).
Because I don't have a car right now--we sold my truck to pay for detox. And so I am learning to walk again, and it really actually hurts. I have to unlearn how to drive.
We're all working on this together!
(edit--my detox program was low-cost, but it was very expensive getting there...)
Unlearning it was the hard part.
(Oh, the analogies are getting thick around here).
Because I don't have a car right now--we sold my truck to pay for detox. And so I am learning to walk again, and it really actually hurts. I have to unlearn how to drive.
We're all working on this together!
(edit--my detox program was low-cost, but it was very expensive getting there...)
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