Broken_Faery

I'm drinking now because I bought the wrong DXM. I sort of find it maybe as a message... but it dissapoints me, I'm so on the edge of just falling off of my 7 months of sobriety from <b>drugs</b> (not alcohol :\) and just do them.

I can't say what triggered it today, because, well, I can't find it... maybe it was subconcious? I don't know. All I know is that I feel so bad right now, like I want to crawl into a hole and die. And I also feel bad for my poor b/f who when I got home from school I called and totally gave him sh*t when I realized I'd bought the wrong stuff...

I don't know... no one needs to reply to this... I guess this is just me venting.


&hearts;,
Broken Faery

True Blue

Hello Broken Faery, Welcome to SR you will find a lot of support and healing here.
Keep venting we are here for you.

Novemberphoenix

Hey Broken Faery!

Hang in there, we all make mistakes, chalk it up to experience of how insidious the disease of addiction is and move on. We're here for you, sending you prayers.

Novemberphoenix

Anna

Hi Broken Faery,

Welcome to SR. This is a wonderful place to feel safe and to heal.

Hang around and get to know us.

Love, Anna

Gypsy67

Hi Broken Faery
I know exactly how you feel, but the alternative to not staying clean isn't an option for me I have to stay clean. I'm an alchoholic and when I relaspe its just worse and harder to get and stay clean. Please don't give up, I can't or it will literally kill me.

Gyp

In memory of miracle

I am really sorry for your pain right now I know over the counter drugs can do just as much damage as the rest of them.Dxm is dangerous and if you can you really should stop taking it, its effects can be fatal.In recovery it is reccommended we abstain from all mood altering drugs.I hope you choose to stop,right now,the only shame would be for you to continue on and not choose recovery again or make it back.Prayers to you-

Broken_Faery

Thank you. Yes, I've been addicted to DXM for awhile... But I'm trying to stop everything... all the other stuff I was hooked on as well.


&hearts;
Broken Faery

In memory of miracle

It sounds like you have the right idea and I support your trying to give up everything I know how hard it is.I have been there.Doesnt sound as if that drug is doin you any good! What have you got to lose but your misery?I strongly suggest you throw that dxm out.I am worried about you!Let me know how you make out!Go head throw it out! Dont buy anymore! Prayers Trish.

Chy

Hi and welcome!

Tomorrow is another day and we'll be here!

Dan

High Faery and welcome. I was perplexed as to what exactly was DXM so I found this and am posting it for others who might be wondering.
http://www.erowid.org/chemicals/dxm/faq/
I read pretty much the whole thing and it sent chills down my spine. Thank you for reminding me that the sources of misery are practically endless. And like Chy said, we don't go away.

mnj1024

WOW! thanks for the link dan. welcome broken faery. listen to trish and dump that stuff out if you havent already.

mike

fifty

Hello Dear one...

I know how you feel. I use to drink and get so pissed off at my lover....for no reason. Maybe because I thought that she really didn't understand where I was coming from. You slipped but you will regain your strength and stand again. Don't worry....just believe...

many blessings...

it's Fifty

Broken_Faery

Thank you so much. I <i>did</i> dump it out, I flushed everything (including the <b>box</b>!) I usually dispose of all the evidence, even the reciept so my mother can't find out. But yes, I got rid of it. I admit, I went back to get the right stuff, but they asked for an ID because it was a serious type of cough supressant... since I am only 17, and don't have an ID, I ended up just walking out of the CVS.

Sometimes I think it could be a sign, someone telling me to just quit, forget it, try to stay clean. I am going to try to not even try to buy it or anything. I am just going to try to stay away from it.

Thank you to all of you for your support, it makes things easier


&hearts; always,
Broken Faery:kisshug:

In memory of miracle

You precious angel..good job! I been wonderin about you..you made a good choice for yourself.Keep makin the right choices and life will get better,proud of you! Prayers}Trish.

Novemberphoenix

Way to go Faery!

You've made a great decision! We are here for you, sending you prayers.



Love

Novemberphoenix

mnj1024

good job broken faery, Im proud of you!

mike

In memory of miracle

Little faery! How are you doin?I am pullin for you! Prayers Trish.

mnj1024

been thinking about you and praying for you too.
mike

Broken_Faery

Well, it's deffinatley been awhile. I have been clean since then, except for a slip up while with a friend when I smoked weed. Luckily something good came out of the bad -- it made me feel disgusting, very, very nauseus (sp?), and completley miserable, therefor, I don't think I'll be smoking again. In that moment I had to think to myself, "How the hell did I ever smoke that stuff so much before, and for so damn long?"

I am moving to Florida soon. My mom and I have been packing and cleaning up the house and whatnot, since we're going to be moving in with her fiance. It's alright I guess.

Recently my boyfriend of around 6 or 7 months broke up with me because he changed his mind about moving in with me in FL after he graduated (in a year). So, I am single. I think I'll be that way for awhile, seeing as I really don't want any more relationships at the moment. I've been let down so many times, and always getting my hopes crushed. So, no more for me at the moment.

Well, I've been thinking that I want to change this username to something such as 'Wolven_Glitter'. I'm thinking this because I feel as though I am becoming someone new, so, I want to make a new identity for myself.
Does anyone know how to delete an account here?

Okay, well, that's about it.

--ps-- Diet Dr. Pepper really does taste like regular Dr. Pepper!!! ( LoL)

In memory of miracle

I was glad to see your post and happy you are doing better! Sorry about that boyfriend thing..so a new life ? That sounds great!Thanks for the heads up on the Dr.Pepper !*lol* Hang in there sweetie,I am pullin for you ! Trish