Day One: Get this Monkey off my Back!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 9
Day One: Get this Monkey off my Back!
Hello dear readers,
After many years of cyclical destructive habits, I am determined to liberate myself of the embarrassment and become a stronger being. To do so, I must (a) start living sober (b) confess my wrong deeds (c) retrain my mind towards new habits (d) learn from and support all of you!
For years, my addictions have plagued my life. I believe marijuana's effects on appetite led to another disorder: overeating and binging. Today I awoke after indulgently smoking and eating weed food yesterday, with a deep desire to stop accepting these activities in my life. I am writing to all of you, to humbly ask for your support, advice, and to begin sharing stories. Though I have previously halfheartedly quit my indulgences, I have never before tried connecting with others. I hope writing and reading these forums will help all of us recover from past mistakes!
Best,
ShiningSoul
After many years of cyclical destructive habits, I am determined to liberate myself of the embarrassment and become a stronger being. To do so, I must (a) start living sober (b) confess my wrong deeds (c) retrain my mind towards new habits (d) learn from and support all of you!
For years, my addictions have plagued my life. I believe marijuana's effects on appetite led to another disorder: overeating and binging. Today I awoke after indulgently smoking and eating weed food yesterday, with a deep desire to stop accepting these activities in my life. I am writing to all of you, to humbly ask for your support, advice, and to begin sharing stories. Though I have previously halfheartedly quit my indulgences, I have never before tried connecting with others. I hope writing and reading these forums will help all of us recover from past mistakes!
Best,
ShiningSoul
Sobriety is Traditional
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Orcas Island, Washington
Posts: 9,067
Originally Posted by ShiningSoul 
To do so, I must (a) start living sober (b) confess my wrong deeds (c) retrain my mind towards new habits (d) learn from and support all of you!
Well, you're here and ready to learn from us (d), (a) is totally up to you (I hope you've stopped and gotten rid of it), but (b) and (c) sound pretty ambitious for a newcomer to recovery.
SoberRecovery is a good habit--stick around and post some more if you're thinking of smoking or drinking!
recovering alcoholic
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Columbus, Ohio
Posts: 243
My first 3 months I went to work, came home and locked myself in my bedroom. I slept, read and prayed. I was determained to break the chains of my addiction after 30 years of drinking most every day.
I took back roads to my house so I would not drive by the places where I bought my alcohol and I stopped hanging with and seeing anyone who I had a connection with who drank. I got rid of things such as shot classes, beer mugs and bottle openers. I am 132 days today - a little over 4 months - and I feel very strong and clear headed. I no longer need to take back roads into town, although I still find that I need to say NO to my urge every now and then. Relapse in not an option! And don't "flirt" with your addiction. By that I mean, don't fool yourself into thinking you can be around it, or others who are using. If you sit in a barbers chair too often, you're bound to get a hair cut. In other words, take your sobriety very seriously and stay away from it and everyone connected to it. Good Luck!
I took back roads to my house so I would not drive by the places where I bought my alcohol and I stopped hanging with and seeing anyone who I had a connection with who drank. I got rid of things such as shot classes, beer mugs and bottle openers. I am 132 days today - a little over 4 months - and I feel very strong and clear headed. I no longer need to take back roads into town, although I still find that I need to say NO to my urge every now and then. Relapse in not an option! And don't "flirt" with your addiction. By that I mean, don't fool yourself into thinking you can be around it, or others who are using. If you sit in a barbers chair too often, you're bound to get a hair cut. In other words, take your sobriety very seriously and stay away from it and everyone connected to it. Good Luck!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: UK
Posts: 5,678
Welcome to SR ShiningSoul 
I truly believe that connecting with other people with the same problem has me has made all the difference for me in my recovery. I am sure SR will provide the same for you too. Don't be afraid to ask for help when you need it x
I truly believe that connecting with other people with the same problem has me has made all the difference for me in my recovery. I am sure SR will provide the same for you too. Don't be afraid to ask for help when you need it x
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 9
Day Four-ish
Hello dear new friends,
Thanks so much for your input. I am recognizing I will not succeed without the support not only of the people I know who are clean and stable, but especially from recovering addicts.
Honestly, I have not succeeded in being completely clean, though the last few days I only allowed myself to smoke once or twice, rather than all day. It helped me so much this morning, when pondering sneaking a morning bowl, to read your input. It grounded me back in my goals and renewed my vigor to kick my addiction.
So, I need further advice. I understand it is easier to quit using when you can sever yourself from the places, experiences, people, and substance involved in your addiction. Have any of you been able to get clean while still around the thing? Because I live in NorCal, where weed is grown all over. I believe my addiction has persisted because so many people get high or drunk, they allow it in each other. Also, I have been very secretive my whole life, and though I always knew I was breaking rules by hiding my addiction, I never foresaw how I was entrenching myself deeper by not letting others see the truth. Now it pains me how much of my life has been intoxicated and unclear, and how little I have to show at this moment.
Let me reiterate, your support is priceless. My next goals are: not to smoke today, to attend an AA meeting within the week, and to find someone to sponsor my quest for sobriety. Please, keep sending whatever positivity and creative solutions you come up with! Also, reprimands will help keep me focused. Wishing you all the best in your endeavors, S.S.
Thanks so much for your input. I am recognizing I will not succeed without the support not only of the people I know who are clean and stable, but especially from recovering addicts.
Honestly, I have not succeeded in being completely clean, though the last few days I only allowed myself to smoke once or twice, rather than all day. It helped me so much this morning, when pondering sneaking a morning bowl, to read your input. It grounded me back in my goals and renewed my vigor to kick my addiction.
So, I need further advice. I understand it is easier to quit using when you can sever yourself from the places, experiences, people, and substance involved in your addiction. Have any of you been able to get clean while still around the thing? Because I live in NorCal, where weed is grown all over. I believe my addiction has persisted because so many people get high or drunk, they allow it in each other. Also, I have been very secretive my whole life, and though I always knew I was breaking rules by hiding my addiction, I never foresaw how I was entrenching myself deeper by not letting others see the truth. Now it pains me how much of my life has been intoxicated and unclear, and how little I have to show at this moment.
Let me reiterate, your support is priceless. My next goals are: not to smoke today, to attend an AA meeting within the week, and to find someone to sponsor my quest for sobriety. Please, keep sending whatever positivity and creative solutions you come up with! Also, reprimands will help keep me focused. Wishing you all the best in your endeavors, S.S.
Sobriety is Traditional
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Orcas Island, Washington
Posts: 9,067
I think you have a good plan. If that doesn't work, you may have to do what I did--spend a few days in "Social Detox," and have the stuff completely out of my life (my wife quit too).
I did 90 meetings in 90 days and see my sponsor twice a week. I'm on step four now (resentments). I did the first three steps with the help of SoberRecovery (yes, I actually found God here), and in fact found the final inspiration to begin step four here at SR from a moderator who recently passed away.
I have not given up drugs completely--I take psychiatric medications. Of course, the only way to know if you need these is to see a doctor (and have patience--it took 33 years for me to get a diagnosis and find meds that work).
Thanks for checking in!
C∞F
I did 90 meetings in 90 days and see my sponsor twice a week. I'm on step four now (resentments). I did the first three steps with the help of SoberRecovery (yes, I actually found God here), and in fact found the final inspiration to begin step four here at SR from a moderator who recently passed away.
I have not given up drugs completely--I take psychiatric medications. Of course, the only way to know if you need these is to see a doctor (and have patience--it took 33 years for me to get a diagnosis and find meds that work).
Thanks for checking in!
C∞F
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