Panache

That is a massive achievement Babs, I hope one day to get to that!

So far I've got to two days sober and then flaked and relapsed - I've repeated this pattern for the past month. It's not ideal, but I was drinking every day for the past year so it's a start! I've also joined this site and made a conscious decision to go to an AA meeting Saturday, so it's a step in the right direction, I'll let you know when I hit that 18 day mark

Babs1234

Not that I'm using this for an excuse but, I lost both my parents 5 months apart
from each other. and I drank everynight and very, very, heavy on the week-ends and a closet drinker ta boot. So, I drank straight vodka. i had it hidden all over the house so, I could just about go into any room and have a straight shot. I was sober for about 3-4 years before that. I'm glad and thankful sooo much for this site it has helped me a lot.

Panache

I'm sorry to hear about your parents Babs, I can't imagine how hard that must have been.
My DOC is wine, it's stupid I have to drink till I blackout? Ridiculous. BUT that's the past, onwards and upwards

What were your withdrawal symptoms like Babs? I know when I've done 2 consecutive days (last week I managed this then relapsed) I get very agitated, irritated and anxious. Tomorrow night I feel is going to be a particularly rough one as its a Friday after work - I'll be sure to log on and ride it out with support from the site

Babs1234

I don't have this site on my lap top at home. I just have it during work time. I'm a receptionist so, between phone calls I can use my computer here at work.
I got very agitated after work. I was use to going to my car and taking a straight shot before going home and then when I got home i would change clothes and of course in the bed room was another bottle. I just kept myself busy after work so, i didn't think about sneaking into the bed room for a shot. I was almost relieved not having to figure out another excuse to my husband why i had to go to other rooms of the house so often. It did get better each day. and now I don't think about it as much as I use to.

Panache

I too get ridiculously agitated at work and my "prize" for enduring another day is to go the show (which is conveniently on my way home from work) to buy a bottle of wine every night. It's got to the point were the lady on the desk gave me a store card because I'm in there "all the time and could be saving hundreds" - how embarrassing, did it stop me buying?... Not at all!

Tomorrow will be a massive test for me, just hope I can stay strong and not resist. I feel like I obsess over alcohol, my primary thought is "when's my next drink?". Sometimes I can't quite believe its got to this point, BUT it's never too late to get it back I guess!

Mirage74

I can totally relate to this thread. I am on day 4 and can't believe I've made it this far. And now (crazy), I want to reward myself and throw it all away. That is what my mind is telling me. Well, these threads are helping me hang in there.

It's scary how easy it would be for me to go to the liquor store and buy my favorite fifth of liquor. But I can't think about it! NO! I can't go back. It's also scary how easy it is to forget how bad it was. Ugh

Panache

mirage I can more than relate, you think "I've gone 4 days straight I deserve a prize, a little drink won't harm me, I've cracked this now". For me that one drink would lead to two bottles of wine and I'd wake up tomorrow feeling the absolute scum of the earth at my lowest ebb. It's so easy to listen to your mind sometimes, it's so easy to have that drink. But by not having that drink you are stronger than your mind would believe. Fighting against your own urge seems to be the hardest thing for me at the moment. You'd think my body would cut me some slack and realise by not drinking I am creating miracles, sometimes it doesn't feel that way.

Mirage74

Pinache, I can really relate to you too. I have done what you've done so many times. Quit 2 days, then drink. Quit 3 days, then drink. It's so easy to give in to temptation. But this time, everytime one of my cravings hits me over the head like a frying pan, I just come here to these boards, and I read something that keeps me going. People are so encouraging here, it's unreal. So, hang in there, and I will too. Just remember, whatever happens, DONT DRINK. I know, easier said than done. Good luck

Panache

I think tomorrow will be my ultimate test, a Friday after work is always the optimum time for me to drink to excess. I'm going to leave my purse with my ID and bank cards at home to avoid temptation, then log on and verbally vent if need be. I'm going to join the Marchers thread tomorrow to give me an extra incentive, maybe join with me and we can keep track of our progress together? Best of luck to you too Mirage, just tell yourself "I don't drink" and stay strong.

Babs1234

stay strong ---just tell your AV NO----you can do this.

Mirage74

I know what you mean about Fridays and weekends. Those are the hardest days. Although, I've been drinking everyday for years now so I never needed an excuse to drink. But it does seem like everyone is drinking on a Friday, makes it a hard day to quit. That's actually why I quit on Monday, to build up a few days so when the weekend hit Id have a few days under my belt. Thursdays are actually hard for me too, which is what I'm going through right now.

That's a good idea about the Marcher thread. It's funny, I actually joined a couple of weeks ago, but I relapsed. I'm just now making it back. I think I made it 2 days last time, so at least I've improved

Tammy47

Panache and Mirage. I'm coming up to 5 weeks. The first 3 Fridays, driving home from work have been the hardest, not to stop and buy. I made sure to do food shop day before, so no reason to stop at shop at my weakest moment (Friday 5pm). I would drive home with mouth watering, thinking of chilled wine, so cruel. But I would get home, put on jamies, and bed with lap top, tv, books and goodies to eat. (I too was everyday wine drinker). I tell you all this, because I want you to know that last Friday, being the 4th Friday, I drove home not thinking of booze!! That is shocking to me. I still struggle, but it seems the habit at least is broken. Hopefully the craving will too, soon. But the struggle is less severe. Thinking of you both on Friday, be strong. Best wishes

lucky1s

Hi, my first week too. I have been so sick of drinking for so long. I kept swearing that I was going to replace booze with food. Well that is what I did this week. Good, low calorie, tasty food. I have been reading cookbooks and even saw a nutritionist to see what I had been doing wrong in the past. I thought I was so cool because I counted my alcohol calories. But I ended up replacing other more healthy items with the booze.

So I have been having a blast eating and cooking this week. And I lost 6 pounds!!

Just a thought.

Best of luck!