BEAUTIFULIFE

~ Just wanted to say hi...

I was sober for over 10 years and started drinking again for the last 5...

I really want to stop....although I only drink on weekends...I dont like to have just one or two glasses of wine.

I know what I need to do...glad I found this site today.

I need some advice.

thank you.

Grymt

Welcome.

wanttosucceed

I feel your pain. I was sober for 20 years and began drinking again 2 yrs ago. I am ready to be sober again, tho it won't be easy for me. St Patrick's day sounds like a great day to start, while so many others are tying one on. I like the symbolism of that.

shauninspain

Like you I registered today, after a relapse. 10 months is about the most sobriety I have so far achieved. But having said that my life has improved since I stopped the daily drinking. I only wish I could knock it on the head for good. Every time I do binge it creates a lot of problems and my future looks shaky. On this last occasion I have been told I must leave my accommodation. I don't blame the landlord one bit.

As for advice, I have been a serial relapser for many years. The guilt, shame or whatever else you're currently feeling I have also felt intensely. Those emotions do serve a purpose in as much as they remind us that we are humans with deep feelings. However, I would suggest that you don't stare at them for too long, or become engulfed by them. They will tell you lies and tell you that you need more drink for them to go away. In one week, today will be a whole week ago, and you'll be feeling different. Just try to commit to today being the convincer. Awake tomorrow and log on here and wish people a sober and happy day.

From where I am sitting I can hear people in a bar just down the road. They're laughing, joking and having fun. They're enjoying their vino tinto and ceverza, and enjoying the sunshine. I can almost smell the combination of ladies perfume, cigarette smoke and diesel from the mopeds. A part of me wishes to join in with the fun, like I tried to do 2 days ago. Yesterday I was standing in a court in handcuffs. Fortunately I can still smell the detergent in the police cells and my wrists are aching due to the cuffs.

I know I must not walk towards the laughter.

soberlicious

Hi beautiful. I did the same. I drank after 10 years without booze. That lasted for seven years, daily drinking, most often to blackout. Such a horrible waste of years that I cannot ever get back.

Since you asked for advice, I would suggest reading all over this site. So many have quit for good and are creating the life they want. You can do that too. Glad you're here. xo

soberlicious

You will learn to listen for the authentic laughter, and go towards that.

Impurrfect

Welcome to SR!!

Hugs and prayers,

Amy

LoftyIdeals

Welcome beautifulone, wanttosucceed, and shaun. I have also been a habitual relapser over the last 3 decades, with my first and best period of 1.5 yrs, followed by 13 months that ended last Sept. i am now 2 weeks at the end of the day. I watched my father in law pick up after 26 ( i think) yrs, and now hear the buzz in his voice nearly always when we talk on the phone. Ive watched his health take a beating since he picked up almost ten yrs ago. And I have watched his mind and spirit atrophy. Youd think that would be enough to tame me. I wish it was. Sobriety is the single most difficult and rewarding endeavor of my life all at the same time. Yet it has too often eluded me, even after i have tasted its sweet nectar. I pray to God we can all achieve our goals, and support one another. I will subscribe to this thread for the wisdom and strength i know each of you can provide, and the support I hope I can offer you. Peace.

Anna

Hi Beautifulife,

Welcome!

I agree with you that stopping drinking altogether is probably easier than trying to control your drinking on weekends. I think it's great that you've joined us and I know you will find support here.

BEAUTIFULIFE

Thank you all.
I am feeling so happy to be here.
Today I woke and still felt drunk....it was a strange feeling. I looked in the mirror and didnt feel connected to the person I was looking at.

I drank a bottle of wine.

Guess I havent been so hard on myself because it is ONLY weekend drinking.

thank you all for responding. xo

Aborigine

Glad you're here. Keep trying, you did it before and you can do it again.

BEAUTIFULIFE

~Thank you all again.
I will post my story a little later...hopefully I can also help others.

xo

least

to the family! I drank again after being sober twenty years. It amazed me how fast I was dragged down by alcohol this time around. Gave it up for good three years ago and never felt better.

Hevyn

Hi Beautifulife. I also started up again after years of being sober. Like Soberlicious, it took me 7 yrs. to get back on track. In those 7 yrs. I proved to myself I'll be facing death if I ever pick up again. No off switch - ever.

We're so glad you found us. Not feeling alone meant everything to me. You can do it.

nonblondechef

Welcome newcomers, glad you are here. There are so many wonderful, caring people here who are willing to lend an ear and an idea or two to help us achieve and/or maintain sobriety. You've pick an awesome place to start.

dublingal

Hi BeautifulLife,

I drank after 9 years of sobriety and for the past 5 years I have been drinking on and off. I have had a few weeks here and there and even 4 months once. Right now, i'm 17 days alcohol free and I'm praying asking for help and using this forum.

All the best

Dee74

welcome BEAUTIFULIFE and wanttosucceed

My advice simply is to reach out, find help, and find the level of support you need to change things

D

mirage

Thank you for posting beautifulife..it really helped me to read it and to read the responses from others. I hope you stick around and read a lot here..I find it really helps. Best wishes to you and your recovery!

BEAUTIFULIFE

~ Well ..here goes nothing...
My Alcohol story...

I remember the first time I drank...I consumed enough to get sick..and I think it happened the second time also...(I was in my teens)

I really didnt start my drinking career until 20 something....loved it right from the start.
Got a DUI on new years eve..(everyone drinks then, right?)

When I was pregnant with my first child...my boyfriend and I told our parents and invited them over to celebrate, I got drunk, of course.

This continued for many years...I worked in bars, so it was easy and very normal to drink, even while working.

One of my bottoms were, getting raped while drunk, (not sure if I was drugged)...by more than one person.

I continued to drink.

Car accidents followed.....fights/lies/ and insanity continued.

After the birth of my 3rd child, I got serious...got down on my hands and knees and prayed after a night of drinking with his dad....I looked at my innocent baby in his crib and felt so ashamed.

I went to AA....and was sober for about 12 years.

After my divorce...I started dating and decided to have a glass of wine..that was about 5 years ago.

Im not happy or proud and have had many blackouts during these 5 years.

I want to be happy and proud again....

Thank you all for being here. xo

Hevyn

That is so similar to my story - but I'm much older. At least you're getting it right at a younger age.

I didn't get rolling with it until my 20's either. I also had some sober years and then decided it would be ok to have 'a glass' of wine on a date. The glass turned into 5. Next day I figured since I didn't feel too bad - it would be ok to drink once in awhile. As if! I guess I forgot, there is no once in awhile for us. I was gone again for 7 yrs. until I found SR.

You will be happy and proud again, Beautifullife. You're going to make it out of this and never go back to that dark place again.