Confusion abounds
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Copenhagen, DK
Posts: 5
Confusion abounds
Hello,
I have had problems with drinking in the past. I know that my problems are not normal because I have had blackouts before but only on rare occassion. I only socially drank before so it was not something I did addictively but rather just while hangout out with friends (sometimes I didn't even drink it didn't matter that much to me). I know I should never get drunk and I don't even want to risk drinking because of the possibility of having a blackout so I'm all set on not drinking but I'm just not sure if I really need to go to AA. I think, sure it might help but there's also places online where I actually feel more comfortable talking to people and reading their stories and sharing mine and helping others. I also just started going to counseling too so thinking maybe online AA and counseling could be just as good? I just really had a bad experience with AA before and don't want to feel attacked because I said something wrong or used the wrong phrase. It makes me feel even worse and I can't stand to feel worse at the moment.
I have had problems with drinking in the past. I know that my problems are not normal because I have had blackouts before but only on rare occassion. I only socially drank before so it was not something I did addictively but rather just while hangout out with friends (sometimes I didn't even drink it didn't matter that much to me). I know I should never get drunk and I don't even want to risk drinking because of the possibility of having a blackout so I'm all set on not drinking but I'm just not sure if I really need to go to AA. I think, sure it might help but there's also places online where I actually feel more comfortable talking to people and reading their stories and sharing mine and helping others. I also just started going to counseling too so thinking maybe online AA and counseling could be just as good? I just really had a bad experience with AA before and don't want to feel attacked because I said something wrong or used the wrong phrase. It makes me feel even worse and I can't stand to feel worse at the moment.
Every Mother's Worst Nightmare
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Deep in the heart of LaLa land
Posts: 688
Don't stress Marie. Spend some time around here looking over the various forums and you'll find there's a myriad of recovery programs being used by a myriad of people.
Just choose the right path for you. There is no wrong way.
Just choose the right path for you. There is no wrong way.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: The world is home to me.
Posts: 11
Counseling and online support is a good place to start Marie. Not all AA groups are the same. The first one I attended was very dysfunctional and not at all helpful. I found a really good group this time. Choosing an AA home group is like choosing a counselor. You have to find the right "fit." Then again, this is only if you ever wish to attend a "live" AA group. It sounds as if you aren't sure if you even have a problem with alcohol?
Answer this 12 questions, yes or no, truthfully and they may help you better understand if you think you have a problem.
1 Have you ever decided to stop drinking
for a week or so, but only lasted
for a couple of days?
Most of us in A.A. made all kinds of
promises to ourselves and to our families.
We could not keep them. Then we came
to A.A. A.A. said: “Just try not to drink
today.” (If you do not drink today, you cannot
get drunk today.)
2 Do you wish people would mind their
own business about your drinking —
stop telling you what to do?
In A.A. we do not tell anyone to do anything.
We just talk about our own drinking,
the trouble we got into, and how we
stopped. We will be glad to help you, if
you want us to.
3 Have you ever switched from one
kind of drink to another in the hope
that this would keep you from getting
drunk?
We tried all kinds of ways. We made our
drinks weak. Or just drank beer. Or we
did not drink cocktails. Or only drank on
weekends. You name it, we tried it. But if
we drank anything with alcohol in it, we
usually got drunk eventually.
4 Have you had to have an eye-opener
upon awakening during the past
year?
Do you need a drink to get started, or to
stop shaking? This is a pretty sure sign
that you are not drinking “socially.”
5 Do you envy people who can drink
without getting into trouble?
At one time or another, most of us have
wondered why we were not like most people,
who really can take it or leave it.
6 Have you had problems connected
with drinking during the past year?
Be honest! Doctors say that if you have a
problem with alcohol and keep on drinking,
it will get worse — never better.
Eventually, you will die, or end up in an
institution for the rest of your life. The
only hope is to stop drinking.
7 Has your drinking caused trouble
at home?
Before we came into A. A., most of us said
that it was the people or problems at home
that made us drink. We could not see that
our drinking just made everything worse.
It never solved problems anywhere
or anytime.
8 Do you ever try to get "extra" drinks
at a party because you do not get
enough?
Most of us used to have a “few” before we
started out if we thought it was going to
be that kind of party. And if drinks were
not served fast enough, we would go some
place else to get more.
9 Do you tell yourself you can stop
drinking any time you want to, even
though you keep getting drunk when
you don’t mean to?
Many of us kidded ourselves into thinking
that we drank because we wanted to. After
we came into A. A., we found out that once
we started to drink, we couldn't stop.
10 Have you missed days of work or
school because of drinking?
Many of us admit now that we “called in
sick” lots of times when the truth was that
we were hungo ver or on a drunk.
11 Do you have “blackouts”?
A “blackout” is when we have been drinking
hours or days which we cannot
remember. When we came to A.A., we
found out that this is a pretty sure sign of
alcoholic drinking.
12 Have you ever felt that your life
would be better if you did not drink?
Many of us started to drink because drinking
made life seem better, at least for a
while. By the time we got into A.A., we felt
trapped. We were drinking to live and living
to drink. We were sick and tired of
being sick and tired.
Did you answer YES four or more times? If so,
you are probably in trouble with alcohol. Why do
we say this? Because thousands of people in A.A.
have said so for many years. They found out the
truth about themselves — the hard way.
But again, only you can decide whether you think
A.A. is for you. Try to keep an open mind on the
subject. If the answer is YES, we will be glad to
show you how we stopped drinking ourselves.
Answer this 12 questions, yes or no, truthfully and they may help you better understand if you think you have a problem.
1 Have you ever decided to stop drinking
for a week or so, but only lasted
for a couple of days?
Most of us in A.A. made all kinds of
promises to ourselves and to our families.
We could not keep them. Then we came
to A.A. A.A. said: “Just try not to drink
today.” (If you do not drink today, you cannot
get drunk today.)
2 Do you wish people would mind their
own business about your drinking —
stop telling you what to do?
In A.A. we do not tell anyone to do anything.
We just talk about our own drinking,
the trouble we got into, and how we
stopped. We will be glad to help you, if
you want us to.
3 Have you ever switched from one
kind of drink to another in the hope
that this would keep you from getting
drunk?
We tried all kinds of ways. We made our
drinks weak. Or just drank beer. Or we
did not drink cocktails. Or only drank on
weekends. You name it, we tried it. But if
we drank anything with alcohol in it, we
usually got drunk eventually.
4 Have you had to have an eye-opener
upon awakening during the past
year?
Do you need a drink to get started, or to
stop shaking? This is a pretty sure sign
that you are not drinking “socially.”
5 Do you envy people who can drink
without getting into trouble?
At one time or another, most of us have
wondered why we were not like most people,
who really can take it or leave it.
6 Have you had problems connected
with drinking during the past year?
Be honest! Doctors say that if you have a
problem with alcohol and keep on drinking,
it will get worse — never better.
Eventually, you will die, or end up in an
institution for the rest of your life. The
only hope is to stop drinking.
7 Has your drinking caused trouble
at home?
Before we came into A. A., most of us said
that it was the people or problems at home
that made us drink. We could not see that
our drinking just made everything worse.
It never solved problems anywhere
or anytime.
8 Do you ever try to get "extra" drinks
at a party because you do not get
enough?
Most of us used to have a “few” before we
started out if we thought it was going to
be that kind of party. And if drinks were
not served fast enough, we would go some
place else to get more.
9 Do you tell yourself you can stop
drinking any time you want to, even
though you keep getting drunk when
you don’t mean to?
Many of us kidded ourselves into thinking
that we drank because we wanted to. After
we came into A. A., we found out that once
we started to drink, we couldn't stop.
10 Have you missed days of work or
school because of drinking?
Many of us admit now that we “called in
sick” lots of times when the truth was that
we were hungo ver or on a drunk.
11 Do you have “blackouts”?
A “blackout” is when we have been drinking
hours or days which we cannot
remember. When we came to A.A., we
found out that this is a pretty sure sign of
alcoholic drinking.
12 Have you ever felt that your life
would be better if you did not drink?
Many of us started to drink because drinking
made life seem better, at least for a
while. By the time we got into A.A., we felt
trapped. We were drinking to live and living
to drink. We were sick and tired of
being sick and tired.
Did you answer YES four or more times? If so,
you are probably in trouble with alcohol. Why do
we say this? Because thousands of people in A.A.
have said so for many years. They found out the
truth about themselves — the hard way.
But again, only you can decide whether you think
A.A. is for you. Try to keep an open mind on the
subject. If the answer is YES, we will be glad to
show you how we stopped drinking ourselves.
Not Alone
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: South East UK
Posts: 1,513
Hey Marie,
That moment when you're stuck in limbo wondering whether or not you have a problem is tough. You don't have to go to AA, regardless of what anyone says. I go to Narcotics Anonymous but that's only because it works for ME. If you feel AA doesn't work for you then you don't have to go to it. I'd strongly suggest trying some different meetings. No-one should be made to feel uncomfortable in an AA meeting, you should feel completely comfortable.
If you're set on not going to AA there are lots of alternatives you can try. SMART or AVRT etc. The main thing is that you have to have the willpower to change. Any type of support/group you are in can always help tremendously too. I wish you the best of luck.
Natom.
That moment when you're stuck in limbo wondering whether or not you have a problem is tough. You don't have to go to AA, regardless of what anyone says. I go to Narcotics Anonymous but that's only because it works for ME. If you feel AA doesn't work for you then you don't have to go to it. I'd strongly suggest trying some different meetings. No-one should be made to feel uncomfortable in an AA meeting, you should feel completely comfortable.
If you're set on not going to AA there are lots of alternatives you can try. SMART or AVRT etc. The main thing is that you have to have the willpower to change. Any type of support/group you are in can always help tremendously too. I wish you the best of luck.
Natom.
Guest
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Ashburn, VA
Posts: 30,196
I recommend the New Wine course at the Setting Captives Free website. It uses the Bible to uplift and really roto-rooter your motivations. It's more than just the same old five Bible verses about drunkenness--it's a 60-day course that is really in-depth and the best Bible study I've ever had (I've been a Christian for 31 years, so I've been around). It's totally free, and they assign you a mentor right away. I can't recommend it highly enough.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Copenhagen, DK
Posts: 5
Thank you so much everyone. I loved the 12 questions jobeeze. Thanks glimer, that is a great resource which I just signed up for 
Great to have so many kind and helpful people here, what a blessing!
Great to have so many kind and helpful people here, what a blessing!
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