I'm back!!
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Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 301
Originally Posted by llastchance8 
Hello, SoberD,, it is really great to see that you are analyzing the cause of your relapse. We can fully relate to your situation. After years of activities around alcohol, it is indeed difficult to start enjoying and socializing without alcohol. However, here are few things , which helped me.
1. With some close observations, I realized that both me and my friends wanted more and more to get same high effect,as months and years went by. The lovely pleasure ,we used to get by just drinking couple of beers at the beach, was rare even after having a case of beer or finishing 2 pints of whiskey amongst 3 of us.. Needless to say, this deadly decease is progressive of very slow nature. It changes our body cell structures and neurotransmitter balance so that we always want more and more, There is no end to it. It may sound that for few months ,we can enjoy and really stop after 2 bottles of wine.. But it does not stay that way for long. It progresses up wards, never down wards.
2. It takes time to change the associations . As you would have read in many posts, it is a good idea to keep away from drinking buddies and parties, till we can convince ourselves that the real and natural joy comes from the reality of event and not from alcohol. Once, that realization comes, nothing will bother us.. Not even, 100 people drinking around us .
Keep at it. You will succeed.
1. With some close observations, I realized that both me and my friends wanted more and more to get same high effect,as months and years went by. The lovely pleasure ,we used to get by just drinking couple of beers at the beach, was rare even after having a case of beer or finishing 2 pints of whiskey amongst 3 of us.. Needless to say, this deadly decease is progressive of very slow nature. It changes our body cell structures and neurotransmitter balance so that we always want more and more, There is no end to it. It may sound that for few months ,we can enjoy and really stop after 2 bottles of wine.. But it does not stay that way for long. It progresses up wards, never down wards.
2. It takes time to change the associations . As you would have read in many posts, it is a good idea to keep away from drinking buddies and parties, till we can convince ourselves that the real and natural joy comes from the reality of event and not from alcohol. Once, that realization comes, nothing will bother us.. Not even, 100 people drinking around us .
Keep at it. You will succeed.
Also, with regard to associations, fortunately I will be beginning a new job soon in a new city, which gives me the opportunity to reinvent myself. However, do you ever feel that sometimes you just simply relate to the people who have live the so-called "sex, drugs, and rock 'n roll life."? Perhaps it is because I have drank heavily my entire adult life that I just never seem to be on the same page as the "normal" people of the world. I actually think that a recovered alcoholic significant other would be the perfect match for me with my scarred past.
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Join Date: Mar 2013
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Originally Posted by SoberD
I actually read recently that 35% percent of Americans are abstainers, which makes me think, where the hell are all these people cause I never meet them!
They are doing something else, most likely not in a bar or with a load of others getting drunk at a party or event. And if they are in the same physical space as people who are drinking they will not be joining in so you don't notice them.
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Originally Posted by misspond
I think the answer is right there in that sentence They are doing something else, most likely not in a bar or with a load of others getting drunk at a party or event. And if they are in the same physical space as people who are drinking they will not be joining in so you don't notice them.
They are doing something else, most likely not in a bar or with a load of others getting drunk at a party or event. And if they are in the same physical space as people who are drinking they will not be joining in so you don't notice them.Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Tennessee... The mountainous side.
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I had planned on going to a major festival this year... one I've liked in the past... where many of my favorite all time jam bands and old hippie bands will be playing. I've tried and tried to convince myself I can go to this festival and stay sober. That always leads to... well, instead of completely sober how about just a few beers. Or, maybe you can just smoke a little pot and stay away from booze all together.
Just having those thoughts made me very aware if I went to this festival I would end up smashed the entire time. Would prob. black out... have panic attacks. The list of what would happen at this festival wasn't just a list. It was a prophecy of exactly what would happen.
Interestingly enough I play music. And during these bouts of sobriety I have performed, played, written on and on better than I ever did blasted.
So I've decided to avoid those situations I used to always associate with getting loaded out of my mind. I want to become very happy and comfortable in sobriety before putting myself in those situations. I don't want to put my life on hold... and don't want to avoid things I'm passionate about... but I sure as hell don't want to trigger patterns I've worked and am working so hard to avoid. And lots of things were major triggers for a while.
It will take time and work. But, I also am happily married and have kids...and am comfortable with a small, tight friend base. Friends that give me hell for staying sober but remain very supportive. So that's quite a bit different than being single.
Just having those thoughts made me very aware if I went to this festival I would end up smashed the entire time. Would prob. black out... have panic attacks. The list of what would happen at this festival wasn't just a list. It was a prophecy of exactly what would happen.
Interestingly enough I play music. And during these bouts of sobriety I have performed, played, written on and on better than I ever did blasted.
So I've decided to avoid those situations I used to always associate with getting loaded out of my mind. I want to become very happy and comfortable in sobriety before putting myself in those situations. I don't want to put my life on hold... and don't want to avoid things I'm passionate about... but I sure as hell don't want to trigger patterns I've worked and am working so hard to avoid. And lots of things were major triggers for a while.
It will take time and work. But, I also am happily married and have kids...and am comfortable with a small, tight friend base. Friends that give me hell for staying sober but remain very supportive. So that's quite a bit different than being single.
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Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: USA
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This is what I am working now....trying to not associate alcohol with everything. In the past I would think "oh Im about to go out to eat so I will take a shot first" or "I'm going to the mall I better have a drink before I go" I got so used to incorporating alcohol into every single thing that I did that now I feel kinda lost without it. I'm only 2 days in to this sobriety thing but I just wanted to comment and let you know I felt the same way you did
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Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Boulder County, Co
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I never found the places or people I was around to have an effect on whether I drink or not. As a matter of fact when hanging around drunks it actually reinforces the choice I made because I know I used to act like as more or more of an ass. Everybody is different though so find your own boundaries and stick to them. They will probably evolve over time but if you become uncomfortable or get tempted to drink take a step back.
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Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Canada. About as far south as you can get
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Originally Posted by SoberD
Is there a time months down the road where people just feel comfortable doing the things they used to do without the booze??
What program of recovery have you decided to work?
All the best.
Bob R
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