Not drinking from today
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 56
Not drinking from today
Yesterday while suffering from a hangover I decided to quit drinking. It's been a long time coming. I am far from hitting rock bottom (but will prob get there if I continue drinking) but am in a place I dont want to be.
I am happily married now, but in my early twenties made unsafe sex choices due to drink. My husband does not know this.
I have had black outs. I have never said the following out loud: I once blacked out in someone's garden walking home from bar.
In the past few years I haven't repeated the above type of behaviours but I am an obnoxious drunk. I am the loud annoying lady in the bar.
I am a binge drinker. I only drink at weekends. I generally am embarrassed the day after being out for a night.
I feel the need to stop but I am afraid.
How do I stop?
What do I say to people who ask me why am I not drinking?
Am I an alcoholic?
Yesterday, I thought I might be able to regulate my drinking and cut down and maybe just have one or two when I go out. This has worked for me for awhile in the past but then I will have a big blowout.
I don't have the will to go to AA.
Can I regulate my drinking without giving up completely?
There is nothing positive for me drinking (except the social scene - I will lose my friends) so why can't I stop?
I am happily married now, but in my early twenties made unsafe sex choices due to drink. My husband does not know this.
I have had black outs. I have never said the following out loud: I once blacked out in someone's garden walking home from bar.
In the past few years I haven't repeated the above type of behaviours but I am an obnoxious drunk. I am the loud annoying lady in the bar.
I am a binge drinker. I only drink at weekends. I generally am embarrassed the day after being out for a night.
I feel the need to stop but I am afraid.
How do I stop?
What do I say to people who ask me why am I not drinking?
Am I an alcoholic?
Yesterday, I thought I might be able to regulate my drinking and cut down and maybe just have one or two when I go out. This has worked for me for awhile in the past but then I will have a big blowout.
I don't have the will to go to AA.
Can I regulate my drinking without giving up completely?
There is nothing positive for me drinking (except the social scene - I will lose my friends) so why can't I stop?
Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: North Yorkshire
Posts: 122
Hi. Welcome to Sr. you are with people who understand everything you say. I am a different type of drinker to you but I was still unhappy enough to want to stop. And I did. I also went the wrong way with the sex/booze thing when I was younger, but I am a nice drunk. people like me, they wanted me to keep drinking. But I knew what I wanted and it sounds like you do to. You will find this site excellent. Good luck, and keep us posted on how you doing.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 56
Thank you for your responses. I will join the March group.
I have a wedding next weekend. I intend to not drink at it. If I do drink at it, I will know I have a bigger problem than I thought.
If I don't drink at it, I think I will end up telling myself I don't have a drink problem and will end up drinking the next day (st. Patrick's day).
How stupid is all of the above? :-(
I have a wedding next weekend. I intend to not drink at it. If I do drink at it, I will know I have a bigger problem than I thought.
If I don't drink at it, I think I will end up telling myself I don't have a drink problem and will end up drinking the next day (st. Patrick's day).
How stupid is all of the above? :-(
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 7,097
welcome coffee
I can relate to your story. my binge drinking eventually became every night drinking, at home so I couldn't annoy people or be obnoxious, then it became more.
SR saved me, stick around read stories, share yours, I second joining the monthy class too. welcome
I can relate to your story. my binge drinking eventually became every night drinking, at home so I couldn't annoy people or be obnoxious, then it became more.
SR saved me, stick around read stories, share yours, I second joining the monthy class too. welcome
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 56
Originally Posted by ReadyAtLast 
welcome coffee
I can relate to your story. my binge drinking eventually became every night drinking, at home so I couldn't annoy people or be obnoxious, then it became more.
SR saved me, stick around read stories, share yours, I second joining the monthy class too. welcome
I can relate to your story. my binge drinking eventually became every night drinking, at home so I couldn't annoy people or be obnoxious, then it became more.
SR saved me, stick around read stories, share yours, I second joining the monthy class too. welcome
Yes I too sometimes drink lots at home rather than being a disgrace in public.
That bell or bike person
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: london
Posts: 4,978
I'm a binging alcoholic , I couldn't regulate my drinking , or i could for a while , a day a week a month then i'd go off the rails and blackout , sometimes all weekend and sometimes just pass out .
It's none of my business to take a judgement call on if you're an alcoholic or not , although it certainly sounds like you may have problems with alcohol .
The only real solution for me has been complete abstinance followed by learning how to deal with the world sober .
My drinking friends were just that, DRINKING friends . When i stopped drinking they soon dissapeared and i was left with my real friends .
Why not try 90 days sober to see how alcohol effects your life and see if you are happier without it ? you could always tell your friends you on anti-biotics or on a detox / fitness drive
Bestwishes, M
It's none of my business to take a judgement call on if you're an alcoholic or not , although it certainly sounds like you may have problems with alcohol .
The only real solution for me has been complete abstinance followed by learning how to deal with the world sober .
My drinking friends were just that, DRINKING friends . When i stopped drinking they soon dissapeared and i was left with my real friends .
Why not try 90 days sober to see how alcohol effects your life and see if you are happier without it ? you could always tell your friends you on anti-biotics or on a detox / fitness drive
Bestwishes, M
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 7,097
I can so relate! Then I got married and had a child it was just easier to stay in, drinking a bottle of wine every night. I'm 3 mnths sober now and it is so so worth it. I wish I'd stopped years ago
I wouldn't worry about what you are/labels etc. If alcohol is causing you problems/regrets then it's a problem for you
most people won't even notice or bother you aren't drinking. We only notice others not drinking because we have a problem. They may even be glad you've stopped
I wouldn't worry about what you are/labels etc. If alcohol is causing you problems/regrets then it's a problem for you
most people won't even notice or bother you aren't drinking. We only notice others not drinking because we have a problem. They may even be glad you've stopped
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 56
Originally Posted by mecanix
I'm a binging alcoholic , I couldn't regulate my drinking , or i could for a while , a day a week a month then i'd go off the rails and blackout , sometimes all weekend and sometimes just pass out .
It's none of my business to take a judgement call on if you're an alcoholic or not , although it certainly sounds like you may have problems with alcohol .
The only real solution for me has been complete abstinance followed by learning how to deal with the world sober .
My drinking friends were just that, DRINKING friends . When i stopped drinking they soon dissapeared and i was left with my real friends .
Why not try 90 days sober to see how alcohol effects your life and see if you are happier without it ? you could always tell your friends you on anti-biotics or on a detox / fitness drive
Bestwishes, M
It's none of my business to take a judgement call on if you're an alcoholic or not , although it certainly sounds like you may have problems with alcohol .
The only real solution for me has been complete abstinance followed by learning how to deal with the world sober .
My drinking friends were just that, DRINKING friends . When i stopped drinking they soon dissapeared and i was left with my real friends .
Why not try 90 days sober to see how alcohol effects your life and see if you are happier without it ? you could always tell your friends you on anti-biotics or on a detox / fitness drive
Bestwishes, M
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 56
Originally Posted by ReadyAtLast
I can so relate! Then I got married and had a child it was just easier to stay in, drinking a bottle of wine every night. I'm 3 mnths sober now and it is so so worth it. I wish I'd stopped years ago
I wouldn't worry about what you are/labels etc. If alcohol is causing you problems/regrets then it's a problem for you
most people won't even notice or bother you aren't drinking. We only notice others not drinking because we have a problem. They may even be glad you've stopped
I wouldn't worry about what you are/labels etc. If alcohol is causing you problems/regrets then it's a problem for you
most people won't even notice or bother you aren't drinking. We only notice others not drinking because we have a problem. They may even be glad you've stopped
It was hard to open up on a public forum.
I think I am still in denial, but reading other threads and experiences is helpful.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Inbetween dances
Posts: 548
Hi and welcome! Being sober doesn't mean that you take fun out of any equation. You can still have fun, and keep yourself together. How much fun is it really to be the sloppy obnoxious drunk lady at the bar? I was her too! And believe me my life may not be as chaotic as it once was, (where I thought chaos was fun) but its still thoroughly enjoyable. And I don't have people pointin fingers behind my back because of the sloppy obnoxious decisions I made when I was hammered. I tell people today that I am in recovery and they simply say good for you, and usually smile and say that's awesome.
Recovery is the least negative choice in life you can make! Best wishes!
Recovery is the least negative choice in life you can make! Best wishes!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 56
Originally Posted by fallingtogether
Hi and welcome! Being sober doesn't mean that you take fun out of any equation. You can still have fun, and keep yourself together. How much fun is it really to be the sloppy obnoxious drunk lady at the bar? I was her too! And believe me my life may not be as chaotic as it once was, (where I thought chaos was fun) but its still thoroughly enjoyable. And I don't have people pointin fingers behind my back because of the sloppy obnoxious decisions I made when I was hammered. I tell people today that I am in recovery and they simply say good for you, and usually smile and say that's awesome.
Recovery is the least negative choice in life you can make! Best wishes!
Recovery is the least negative choice in life you can make! Best wishes!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 138
Regarding fun. My truth is the absolute best doubling over in laughter, can't catch my breath fun I've had in my life are the sober times. The times I've got my wits about me and can actually remember what was so funny. It's very telling to me. The drunk fun is a mystery to me the next day.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 56
Originally Posted by TryingHarder
Regarding fun. My truth is the absolute best doubling over in laughter, can't catch my breath fun I've had in my life are the sober times. The times I've got my wits about me and can actually remember what was so funny. It's very telling to me. The drunk fun is a mystery to me the next day.
I think I am very immature in relation to drinking. I have a lot of growing up to do. Facing up to the issues I have with alcohol is a big step for me.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,445
I was scared I'd lose myself when I got sober too.
My identity was centered around my drinking and had been for decades.
But...instead of losing myself I found myself again.
There was a me I totally forgotten about, from before the drinking...a real authentic me.
I'm willing to bet you';ll find the same.
The fear you're feeling is your addiction's fear.
You owe it to yourself to find that person again coffeetogo.
Give it a go
welcome to SR
D
My identity was centered around my drinking and had been for decades.
But...instead of losing myself I found myself again.
There was a me I totally forgotten about, from before the drinking...a real authentic me.
I'm willing to bet you';ll find the same.
The fear you're feeling is your addiction's fear.
You owe it to yourself to find that person again coffeetogo.
Give it a go
welcome to SR
D
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 56
Originally Posted by Dee74
I was scared I'd lose myself when I got sober too.
My identity was centered around my drinking and had been for decades.
But...instead of losing myself I found myself again.
There was a me I totally forgotten about, from before the drinking...a real authentic me.
I'm willing to bet you';ll find the same.
The fear you're feeling is your addiction's fear.
You owe it to yourself to find that person again coffeetogo.
Give it a go
welcome to SR
D
My identity was centered around my drinking and had been for decades.
But...instead of losing myself I found myself again.
There was a me I totally forgotten about, from before the drinking...a real authentic me.
I'm willing to bet you';ll find the same.
The fear you're feeling is your addiction's fear.
You owe it to yourself to find that person again coffeetogo.
Give it a go
welcome to SR
D
Thank you - you have given me hope.
I can do this!!!!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Arizona
Posts: 494
Coffee- that whole bargaining game "well if im good at the wedding then..." Is something we have all been through- on these forums we call that part of ourselves AV or alcoholic voice.
I played the bargaining game for years only to realize normal people don't- because they don't have to. I blacked out the first time i drank and didn't realize that blacking out was abnormal for many years to come. Try being sober at this wedding and notice how not wasted most people are- when I was drinking in though everyone was on my level. They weren't.
Wishing you all the best!
I played the bargaining game for years only to realize normal people don't- because they don't have to. I blacked out the first time i drank and didn't realize that blacking out was abnormal for many years to come. Try being sober at this wedding and notice how not wasted most people are- when I was drinking in though everyone was on my level. They weren't.
Wishing you all the best!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 56
Originally Posted by melissa6381
Coffee- that whole bargaining game "well if im good at the wedding then..." Is something we have all been through- on these forums we call that part of ourselves AV or alcoholic voice.
I played the bargaining game for years only to realize normal people don't- because they don't have to. I blacked out the first time i drank and didn't realize that blacking out was abnormal for many years to come. Try being sober at this wedding and notice how not wasted most people are- when I was drinking in though everyone was on my level. They weren't.
Wishing you all the best!
I played the bargaining game for years only to realize normal people don't- because they don't have to. I blacked out the first time i drank and didn't realize that blacking out was abnormal for many years to come. Try being sober at this wedding and notice how not wasted most people are- when I was drinking in though everyone was on my level. They weren't.
Wishing you all the best!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 56
Originally Posted by melissa6381
Coffee- that whole bargaining game "well if im good at the wedding then..." Is something we have all been through- on these forums we call that part of ourselves AV or alcoholic voice.
I played the bargaining game for years only to realize normal people don't- because they don't have to. I blacked out the first time i drank and didn't realize that blacking out was abnormal for many years to come. Try being sober at this wedding and notice how not wasted most people are- when I was drinking in though everyone was on my level. They weren't.
Wishing you all the best!
I played the bargaining game for years only to realize normal people don't- because they don't have to. I blacked out the first time i drank and didn't realize that blacking out was abnormal for many years to come. Try being sober at this wedding and notice how not wasted most people are- when I was drinking in though everyone was on my level. They weren't.
Wishing you all the best!
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