kingjb10

Hey everyone, I am 23 years old and I'm new here and this is my first time ever writing. Alcoholism runs in my family and I was always the one who never really had a problem. My brother who is 24 had one and stopped drinking about 18 months ago after getting arrested. I was always able to control myself but lately, when I drink, I can't stop. I know I am drunk and know I don't need any more, yet I continue to get loaded. I only drink about 4 times per month so it's not that I drink every day. But, the last few times I've drank, I always seem to do some stupid things. Listen to this, this is what really made me look more closely at myself. Last Friday, myself, my girlfriend, and a bunch of friends went out and had fun. The next morning, I come to find out that during the night, I got out of bed, urinated in the closet on my girlfriend's mothers vacuum, and accidentally went into the wrong room when I went to go back to bed and went in her mother's room. Sad thing is, I don't remember any of it.. and it scares me. This also isn't the first time I have peed while drunk. I would like to consider myself not an alcoholic but somehow, I just can't do it. Please, someone write back and give me advice or help. Thanks

ted

JB WELCOME,GLAD YOUR HERE.
I'M TED AN ALCOHOLIC.
WELL YOU MIGHT HAVE A DRINKING PROBLEM,BLACKOUTS?,BINGE DRINKING?
ALCOHOLISM IS THOUGHT TO BE HEREDETARY,DON'T WORRY HELP IS AVALIBLE.
LOTS OF GREAT PEOPLE HERE.LOTS OF SUPPORT AND WE'RE ALL THE SAME,DON'T FEEL BAD,I PI$$ED ALL OVER MY X-WIFES STEREO ONCE.
BLACKOUT DRINKING,SERIOUS BUSINESS.DON'T BEAT YOURSELF UP,YOUR NOT ALONE.STICK AROUND TO BE WELCOMED BY THE GANG HERE!



:beerchug: :uzi2: ted

kingjb10

thanks Ted, I am glad i came to the right place.

Chy

Hi and welcome! In my opinion alcoholism does run in family's. Myself and two brothers are all alkies. My grandparents, uncles, etc.. seems to skip a generation in my family though. The thing about alcoholism is not so much how often you drink though it is a concerning factor, as it is a progressive disease, but what happens when you do. It's about not having control over it once we take that first drink. I alway's would try to have one or two and drink like a lady, but nope not me. I had to guzzle it down and go back for more, knowing full well I was toast I'd feel like crap the next day and so forth. Your not the first man that has missed the mark, I think a lot do. It's more common in men that have drank to anialation then women not to say it hasn't happened. It's good your seeking some answers. We'll be here to answer your questions and concerns as it relates to our own experiances. Glad you found us.

ted

YOU EVER TRIED A.A.?
PEOPLE JUST LIKE US,WITH SOME ANSWERS.
HOW TO LIVE WITHOUT DRINKING.
STICK AROUND,IT GETS BETTER WITH TIME!
ted

kingjb10

Man it's great to have people like yourselves actually taking the time out to help people you don't even know. It is comforting for me to know that there are people similar to me who actually take a vested interest in helping. The whole thing about its not how often you drink, its what happens when you drink is something that I've been struggling with. LIke I said, I drink usually on friday or saturday night when I go to a party at school. It's just lately, out of those 4 parties I go to, an incident occurs in probably 3 of them, and it has never been something to get me in trouble with the law. Sometimes, its funny, but its just more and more frequent now that when I drink, something happens. When I peed in the closet, I could not believe myself. The shame I feel is unbearable. Plus, I feel guilty because I am pretty popular on campus and do not want anybody knowing about my problem. I am an all-american football player and am scared that if I seek help on campus, my name will get out there. You guys, even though I don't know you are true friends, THANKS A TON!!!

Dan

Hey, wait 'till the day shift gets here!
Pleased to meet ya! I did the closet thing too a few times. Those are blackouts, pure and simple. As for a vested interest in helping, you're on the money there. It's how I help myself to stay clean. By talking to you and offering you some hope!
So yeah, stick around and work it through.

kingjb10

Thanks Dan. I really want to quit, I see a better life if drinking wasn't a part of it. Slowly, problems associated with my drinking are becoming more and more recognizable. Sometimes though, it is just hard to see myself not drinking, ya know? I haven't drank since last Friday, and now that the weekend is here, it was too much. I want to stop really bad, thats why I stopped here. Thank God I did because I think it was the best stop of my life. You guys may have saved me from not only hurting myself, but hurting the ones I love soo much.
Is it OK to feel guilty, right now, thats really eating me up inside?

Chy

There are meetings off campus I'm sure. Just remember, if AA is an option for you the people in the rooms are there because they too have found the courage to deal with a problem that rendered them powerless over their addictions. Your all right, you've made a great start by seeking some answers. Be thankful that your blackouts have only landed you in the closet. It can and does get much worse if you don't take action. Can you imagine waking up in a jail cell to find you just killed someone with a car or by your own hands and not ever have the ability to remember it? It happens everyday to those that don't have the strength or courage to get help.

I admire you at your age to have the clarity to see, something just ain't right.

ted

HEY KING,
CHY SAID IT RIGHT CLARITY TO SEE.
ALL-AMERICAN HUH,MAYBE MY STEELERS WILL DRAFT YOU!
WE COULD USE A STRONG,YOUNG-BUCK. :star
ted

mnj1024

glad your here kingjb10, stick around a bit you might find you've come to the right place. on the computer on a friday night at college, that sure wasn't me (wished it would have been). I was at a frat party getting stoned and drunk off my ass. I was the anchor man for my house during greek week. I could drink a beer faster than any of em. It didn't get me anywhere graduating with a phd in partying, only about 10 years of misery and missed opportunities. I imagine you've already seen 1st hand some of the pain your brother has gone through to get himself sober. It's up to you how much you pain you have to experience. and by the way forget the steelers and come play for a real team like the pats, (lol ted!)

best wishes, mike

Chy

No way Ted, Farve is getting close to the end of his years if he's got a good arm US Packer fans will need him. Go Pack!!

fuster

I tried countless times to stop drinking and taking drugs. I discovered, with much shame, that I could not do it myself. That realization made me feel worthless. I had to ask others for help. I found that face to face contact with others who either knew what to do or were struggling with my problem and trying to carry out steps to accomplish finding a new and happier life without alcohol and drugs was what I needed most.

One thing that drives the alcoholic to drink is a relentlessly reappearing and overpowering sense of worthlessness. Usually is real bad after we find out we screwed up something on account of our drinking or we are just trying to deal with everyday life challenges while trying to stay away from alcohol.

Embarassing things are part of the life of an alcoholic. So is not remembering. I can smile about it now, but not back then. Thank goodness I was never told about many of the things I did or said that I could not remember, while drinking. I guess everyone was afraid of how I would react.

JaySee

Hi

Midnight Wanderings .... me and my "drinking buddies" used to laugh at that sort of thing. If I had a penny for everytime I've spent one around the house.... blimey.... but I'm not making light of it, as said above, it is a blackout, I've had a lot more horrible blackout experiences than on those occasions.

In fact they hurt, hurt a lot to tell the truth, but I now understand why they happened, because of drinking. If I take a first drink, the drink takes me, and 99% of the time, something will happen to make me feel worthless and humiliated. I've got a choice, and today I'm choosing not to take that first drink.

Stick around here, and take the advice and support of the others here. It really helps me, and will help you too.

JC :throb

Little Missy

Hey King, and welcome to SR. It's a great place to be. You'll find great advise, support, and best of all, no judgement. It is so nice to know we are no alone in this. You have done well already by just coming here and seeking help. I wish I would have seen my drinking for what it really was at your age. And I'm not that OLD! LOL
Oh, and about the pi$$ing thing, it happens to a lot of us. I have 2 bathrooms in my house, but went down in the basement to use a trashcan. Needless to say, I have went in the bathroom everytime since I stopped drinking!
We are all here for you! Like Dan said, helping others keeps us sober!

Missy

In memory of miracle

Hi king,Welcome to SR.My name is Trish and I am an alcoholic.I can see you have already gotten some good suggestions and feedback.Just wanted to let you know I am pullin for you! Peace and prayers to you...

Anna

Hi King,

You have come to a great place to get support and understanding, and I think you know alcoholism is a progressive disease. You will get worse if you don't get better. We can help! Hang around and get to know us.

Love, Anna

wingsfree

Hi King, pleased to meet you, and I'm so so happy you have found us...welcome to Sober Recovery. Pretty good gang here eh? you've already gotten so much good advice, best teachers around you know.

Ah the peeing thing, that brought back a memory, one early morning my hubs got up, sat on the edge of the bed, reached out and kept feeling my dresser, I thought what the heck are you doing, next thing you know he gets up, walks down the hall then I hear the outside door open, so I got up, he's whizzing on the step, I said to him what the heck are you doing (thank heaven he didn't whiz in my drawers, lol) anyway he tells me were on an indian burial ground, gosh I'm laughing about this now, I thought an indian burial ground, so I sorta yells at him and says WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING PEEING ON IT, hahaha, he had no recall of it the next day, good old black outs, not good.

Anyway you do what you have to do, you're so young, and I'm proud of you that you're seeking help now, because it will get WORSE, it will control YOU.

One more thought, you never know who's lurking around with a camera, then the next thing you know your picture is circulating the net. You know I don't think that is funny at all, I get emails from friends, and if anything my heart goes out to these people, I can't imagine how humiliating that has to be...shame on their so called friends doing that to them.

Wishing you all the best in your recovery, and yipppppppeee for you reaching out for help, that's awesome.

Hugs.....Denise

TorontoGuy28

King.. Welcome to the the forum.. I am 28, and an alocholic.

Man, you sound totally like me when I was in university.. Like you, I also played varsity football for 4 years.. Like you, I drank my face off every chance I got.. Just recently I decided to stop it all together, as my drinking had a very negative impact on my life.. Seems like all the problems could always be traced back to the bottle.. Part of me of course wished I quit sooner, but I live one day at a time and things are much, much better...

Stick around man.

TG28

mackat

hello and welcome king
sounds like you're sure getting some kind of message!
On some levels alcohol worked for me- i didn't start drinking til right before college- when i got there i got in a bar fight with a couple guys on the wrestling team and as a result got a walk on spot- and then there was the girl thing. But, like you, i quickly began to drink 'alcoholicly'- as a result , lost my academic scholarship, quit wrestling, got kicked out of that school, flunked out of the next one. I was young so after an intervention around cocaine, i went back to the first school. Made good grades but kept getting sidetracked by the partylife. Anyway - long story short- i missed incredible openings into post grad, spent the next 22 years on a slow but steady downward spiral with absolutely nothing to show for my visit on this earth. Seems to me that when i began chancing my life- my quality of life, let alone my physical life- for a drink/drug , i was making a pretty sad choice. And my actions were announcing the direction my priorities had gone.Unfortunately for me , i had begun to turn my will and my life over to a power that was already greater than myself.
So like these other folks are saying, the good news is that you never HAVE to do that again. Posting here is wonderful. But i have been to a hell of a lot of meetings that had hi profile folk in them- national and international celebs, pro athletes, - guess what?- just another drunk/addict like me....and like me it was 'just' a matter of life or death- [and i guarantee that any rumour 'bout me going to meetings beats those ugly little front/profile photos]
mackat
"anonymity is the spiritual foundation of all our Traditions"