anotherquitter

I'm not sure it gets easier. Back when I lived in the mainland I had a great relationship with a certain brew pubs' dry-hopped pale ale. I still miss that stuff. If I walked into that place tomorrow I'd have a very hard time saying no to a pint. Reading this thread was like tasting it all over again.

I think I'll continue to miss certain aspects of my long and storied drinking career. I just need to recall some of the more negative effects of those times to remind me why I quit, and to remember the fellowship of others who help support my sobriety.

soberlicious

0%...
beautiful...

What you said in your last paragraph describes how I felt when I quit. It has been 6 years since I became a nondrinker and I still feel just as excited about life now as I did then. Some very serious and challenging things have happened to me since I quit, and facing those things without drinking, with authenticity and clarity, has brought me a weird sense pleasure alongside the pain of loss and despair. You never have to let that excitement about really living life go. I am very happy for you!

0percentABV

Correct. I'll always have fond memories but this time around I put my thoughts in chronological order. Yeah, I remember the good times but between the good times and today there was 3 years of fear, battles, torment, confusion, obliteration and sickness. That's what will be waiting for me if I think I can turn back the clock. I tried it all. I am destined to be drunk and sick as long as I drink. That's my reality.

0percentABV

Thank you very much. It mean so much to me. I haven't felt this free in a long time. Free to feel good, bad, happy or sad. It's much easier to deal with life knowing I'm not tucking away my feelings in a bottle. There will be a time when I think booze will make me feel better but I know it will not. It will only compound the problem. I haven't really gotten there quite yet but I feel like my sobriety is a badge of honor. Some talk about being scared that people will find out they are alcoholics and I don't really feel that way at all. I don't feel any shame or concern of what people might think. Sorry. I don't drink. I'm an alcoholic.

0percentABV

Speaking of irony (another thread) I just got an email from a brewer in Alaska asking me if he can send me some free beer to review for my blog. Too late, dude. Too late.

YouRmySunshine

So glad you turned down the free beer! We all know in our drinking career that would have been impossible!

Stay Strong!

soberlicious

I was just watching something on tv last night about the whole "moms who need wine" movement (playgroups set up for wine drinking, etc) and the wine companies targeting that demographic with "mommy's juice" brand wines. There was a woman on the show who was somewhat of a founder of the movement, has written 2 books, etc. She then had an epiphany and quit drinking. Four years later, obviously her writing has taken a different perspective.

Maybe time for a new kind of blog for you too?

CrossFox

0percent, it's good to hear a success story. Small batch brews were my drink of choice too. Even as my life and relationships were starting to unravel, I thought I was somehow too good for canned beer (except on hot days), ha.

Eh at least you weren't a girl drink drunk?

Like2Hike

Great and smart post, 0%ABV. My story is similar in many ways especially when I starting having a glass of wine with dinner. Red wine was receiving a lot of favorable press for health benefits and i loved everything about it. 1 glass grew to whole bottle on weeknights and weekends were a free for all of boozing. There were all kinds of tricks to hide how much i was drinking. I finally stopped all drinking on January 2, 2013 and still appreciate every morning that is hangover free.

0percentABV

Last year, Day 1 in fact, I started a journal chronicling my stumble into recovery. It's not online though it could easily be, I just have some things in there I would rather leave out if I were to post it. Though I did think about editing it and starting a new, public one. Not sure how quite to go about it yet, it would have to have a style, a common theme, obviously sobriety would be it but something that sets itself apart. It's why I quit my beer blog long ago, the web just got full of them and they were all boring reviews. Nothing, but a few, stood out. I could maybe interweave posts from my year of trying to control and then failing with current perspectives. I would like to inject some input of the craft beer movement as well because like the unabashed drinking mother movement this one is full of dad's and I can't help but notice that quite a few of them are simply reliving their college days. But of course this time it's all about "appreciation." As much as I would like to just write about poking holes in their facade I know that I'm not a representation of the scene so I would keep the bashing to a minimum.

But let me add something for the newbies. If this is your first attempt to stop drinking, start a journal. I look back on mine and shake my head at some of the things I said. I would read posts during my 4 sober and compare them to the ones when I was 4 months drinking and it's amazing how I was so much more happy sober. Rereading it I could pinpoint moments where the beast started to creep back into my conscience. "Look at this, May 16, 2012, here I am after hanging out with my buddies at a bar talking about 'just having a few, I can do that' and that's when the ball started to roll." And worse yet reading when I was hiding my drinking, and my excuses. There are quite a few posts where I'm starting off saying how my hangover sucks right now and I have to stop, and then in the second paragraph I'm devising new drinking rules for myself and then a few days later doing it all over again. I skim that blog constantly and it's such a good reminder of what my life is like as a dry drunk, then a drunk then an out of control alcoholic.

soberlicious

Well, telling the truth as you see it is not bashing. But yes, talking about how the scene not only condones but protects an unhealthy relationship with alcohol would most certainly be poking at the beehive of the collective beast...and so what? as long as you understand why it won't be well received by some, then backlash is nothing personal.

0percentABV

I was just looking through some Google searches of "Mommy Needs Wine" and there are some people just livid that Katie Couric had the nerve to suggest this movement is a slippery slope. Like creating a website dedicated to mommies who need to drink thus reassuring people that needing alcohol is OK. Sure, it's tongue and cheek but for someone who's at the peak of their drinking and actually has a problem lurking in the corner this is a great way to disguise it as "appreciation" and propel it forward. There is a Baby Center thread about it and you can just tell which folks have an issue with alcohol and which ones don't. Sprinkled throughout the highly defensive "screw you Katie" posts there are a couple that point out the obvious. The "need" factor.

witchylilac

I just joined this site because of this thread. I have been sober in AA for 19 years, and was facing a dilemma: one of my closest friends and her husband have decided to pursue the hobby of craft beer. I would start to become more and more uncomfortable being in their home, as they have actually built a beer tap bar thingie, my friends' FB is covered now in all things craft beer: clubs, bars, brew types, and all their new friends are into it. They are now brewing it themselves, and have their own brands, complete with cutesy names.

The last time I was at their home, it was at a party and it was all their new craft beer friends. The time before that, it was with a group of mutual friends, and I heard them all planning to get together for a day of stuff, including a trip to a craft beer place. I don't think they thought I could hear them, and I wasn't invited. Later, my friend announces that they have a new beer and everyone should have it, except for me. hahahaha hardy haha that wacky sober gal. I smiled outside and was polite and died a bit inside.

I don't think my friends are alcoholics. They are always getting a new hobby every few months, throwing themselves completely into it, and then they quit after a while. I really hope that is the case here. I do know I have become extremely antsy around them now. They have always drank normally, but to make a hobby of it and to drink so much? And these new friends who have nothing in common with them but beer? I know a certain percentage of these people are probably alcoholic. My friend has always been supportive of my recovery, but to plan sneaky drinking outings right behind my back? Ugh. And they have both put on a tremendous amount of weight in just a few short months (they struggle with their weight and want to be thinner).

Anyway, I was wondering if I was being a judgmental beotch, or if I should listen to my spidey sense, so I entered in the search engine: craft beer: alcoholic. and ended up here. And in other research I confirmed something else I suspected: craft beer tends to have a higher alcohol content than regular beer. My alcoholic spidey sense kinda knew that, as one of the things I used to do was hide my drinking behind being a gourmet. "I'm not a drunk, I just like fine things!" Naturally, this eventually lead to rotgut.

I was going to post for advice before doing anything, but I read this thread, prayed. And then I came across this article about the late actor Philip Seymour Hoffman, who had 23 years:
<I can't post this apparently b/c I'm new here, but if you go to Slate online and look for "Why Philips Seymour Hoffman's Death is So Scary", you'll find it.

And I knew my answer. I emailed my friend and told her while I don't think they have a problem with alcohol (and that's none of my business), I know I do (and that is my business), and I can't be around them in certain ways while they are pursuing this hobby. I have to back off from the friendship (I suspect their new friends will step in). I asked her to look at her FB page, and see the many many references to beer, and I can't be around people who romanticize any aspect of drinking.

I say this because the times in the past when I wanted to relapse the most was when I was around friends who were heavy drinking and wondering why I can't be like them. I have learned this is my Achilles heel, and a place I can't go. I can't do that today, my sobriety must come first. And my husband and I moved here in part to be around these friends, and now I can't, so it means starting all over from scratch perhaps. And that's scary. But sobriety comes first.

So I don't know where this is going, and I know I will go to more meetings in this small town I live in. And get involved online and other ways. I never want to go back to who I was, and I'm only one drink away from that. That drink might be craft beer, and I can't take that chance.

Any feedback would be welcome!

Dee74

Welcome aboard witchylilac

well done on your 19 years - as for your decision, it's obviously one you've put a lot of thought into, you know your triggers, and you clearly value your recovery.

I can't argue with any of that

Hopefully this craft beer craze will die out quickly and you can go back to being around your friends

D

witchylilac

Oh I also want to thank everyone who has posted here, starting with the OP, you all have helped me so much to not feel so alone.

silentrun

Today is 0percent's 1 year. Coincidence? Congratulations 0percent.

Dan Dare

I started brewing beer in 1990 and became a recognized home brew judge and award winning brewer.
When we finally purchased a home I stopped brewing for various reasons, time restraints being one of them.
The last 10 years or so I began drinking beer less and less. I switched mainly to vodka and wine, because they worked faster.
Eventually, though, nothing was working. I was only going down.
I have no regrets, about then and about being sober at this moment.
Welcome, Witchy. Here's a good place to hang out.

PaulinaPolitely

Haven't had a hangover in almost nine months now. I'm always available to my family and friends. You need a ride I can give it. And I can interact with my fellows without feeling like I'm carrying around a black hole of despair in my innards.

I love these thoughts. Thank you!

Ncognito13

For 3.5 years I worked in a high end beer bar that had over 400 hundred craft beers and 77 taps that rotated on a weekly basis. This was years ago, and I was certainly drinking too much, but this was at a point where I never felt physically addicted to alcohol and could drink heavily and be fine the next day. I was snobby about beer to the point that I taught a weekly beer class at my job that was open to the public for $20 a person. I made sure to use the correct glasses at home. I talked about beer with all the passion of a wine conessiour. I went to brewery tours, beer festivals, and just about anything that had to do with high end beer.

I guess my point is that I didn't feel like an alcoholic drinking craft beer. Never mind the fact that the ABV was often 7%-15% and I was drinking a lot of it. Over time I started doing the same thing the OP mentioned. Getting the correct glass seemed pointless when I began to drink less for the taste and more for the quick buzz that a 10% beer can give you. When I went to the store I became more concerned about the ABV of beer as opposed to taste. Why drink a beer I like when this other beer is twice as strong?

Fast forward a few years later and I no longer cared about taste in any way shape or form. I wanted to get drunk fast and cheap. Steel Reserve and the occasional fifth of cheap vodka became my drink of choice. The slide seemed so gradual that I never really noticed how I went from appreciating beer as an art form to chugging can after can until I passed out. When I stay sober it hits me how gross they tasted and I wonder to myself why I would drink something that tasted bad just for no other reason than to black out and repeat this process everyday for weeks in a row. There are days when I think about getting a good beer and I have to remind myself that in a few days or weeks I'll be back to drinking garbage and feeling miserable and sick, and I just don't want that anymore.

Tang

Ncognito13 - I read a book by Meredith bell 'seven days sober' about the wine industry. Your beer industry story sounds similar. Meredith purports that most of the people working in the alcohol industry (especially tasters sommeliers) have an unhealthy relationship with alcohol. It seems to me their love of alcoholic beverages is unhealthy. Thank you for sharing your story.