0percentABV

Nail, meet the head of the hammer. Exactly. To me there is a very thin line that divides the connoisseur from the alcoholic. I remember reading posts in random beer message boards where people would question their alcohol intake and most people that responded would describe their drinking habits and would always wrap it up with a feel good excuse that "it isn't getting in the way of my life so no problem here" or the would suggest taking breaks to get yourself in check. I always cringed when I read these because for one it put my drinking in my spotlight and I didn't want to face it but what they are describing is basically the life of a functioning alcoholic. Granted I didn't know them personally so I can't say with certainty that their drinking wouldn't increase like mine did but as we all know it is progressive and from personal observance a good chunk of my old beer friends drink more now than they use to and they are much more pudgy.

But I am not going to become one of those folks that have seen the light and will try to drag everyone I suspect of having a problem to it. But as I am finding out here I am not alone in the particular area of alcoholism, I don't doubt for a second that someone I know from the scene is seeing the light.

bigsombrero

I am from Minneapolis, and live in Chicago. I know what you're talking about.

However, obsessing about the industry (complaining about it or otherwise) is an example of how you're hanging on to it. You have to let it go - the hardest thing for me - because you're just not going to participate anymore. It's over. Don't look at new crafters, don't worry about the bar that's replacing the old abandoned building in the renovated Mill District. Don't get frustrated that the hipsters are catching on to the fad....WIPE IT OFF YOUR CONCERNS! You no longer have the choice about whether or not to give a rat's ass.

The craft beer industry needs to be pushed out of your interests. File it under worrying about the new ferret craze in Singapore - it's just not something to be concerned with or complain about. Good luck!

soberlicious

"Craft beer" is a great cover. Crafting something sounds so...clever...so superior. What a perfect facade: The fine "art" of drinking. How very highbrow. LOL

Personally I find the whole thing very pretentious. I just said this on another thread, but it applies here as well. Lipstick on a pig.

Alcohol is alcohol and drinking is not a hobby.

0% I think it's very highly likely that many of the people you know from the industry drink like you did.

0percentABV

For sure. I'm pretty much just telling my story here and venting. I gave up on caring what goes on in the industry last year. Now I'm focusing on not looking in the rear view mirror and ignoring the "noise" that still happens around me. And I guess that's probably my first real question. How to sever ties or how to approach old relationships? Right now my motto is stay away, be friendly, but stay away and eventually time will pass and I will make new friends and life will go on for everyone.

YouRmySunshine

Hello & welcome (my fellow Minnesotan)!
Thank you so much for being so open & sharing your story!
Congrats on 16 days, something to be proud of!

Keep coming back, keeps posting, keep sober!
~Peace,
Jules

smacked

Welcome. The closest thing I got to high alcohol percentage "beer" was finding out about "High Gravity" Old English. Ick.

least

to the familly!

soberlicious

I think this is a good strategy. You will naturally gravitate toward groups/people with whom you hold more common interests. This occurs throughout life anyway, regardless of whether one has had an addiction or not.

justme2013

[QUOTE="0percentABV;3828779"] I am an alcoholic and no matter how much time passes I will always drink like that because that's how I drink. I crossed a line where I can't turn back. The good old days are over.
/QUOTE]

Wow. Your story really hit home. So many similarities to my own. Thanks for sharing.

Gilmer

We're entertaining this weekend. My husband bought a big case of craft beer for everybody to drink (he doesn't drink out of solidarity to me). Furthermore, a couple is coming with two of those big jugs (I realize they have a proper name, but I don't remember it) of their home brewed beer. Fortunately, I'm really behind with my classwork, so I'll just go upstairs during the imbibing and conversing. I don't usually get ticked off or bitter anymore that I can't join in (But I'm feeling a little sour about it today). Aside from the fact that my preference would be for everybody to converse and guzzle till we were all bombed, I miss the "civilized old days," when I could tipple and chit-chat with the group. I stopped being civilized long ago, though. Please pray for me that I'd just grow a backbone and ignore it all and do my schoolwork in peace.

bigsombrero

You are right on many things and it looks like you're in a good spot to start. Be friendly, stay away, the 'good ol' days' are over. I just sold my last cool craft beer sign that was hanging in my apt this morning on craigslist, and gave away all my wine/martini glasses last week. For now it's all about untying myself from drink.

Oh, and the 'good ol' days' aren't over. I am betting your years without alcohol will replace them in no time, you'll be happy to see how good the days are on this side of the fence.

bigsombrero

I wish more people "new to the game" would read this and also start their quest for sobriety with this mantra. First things first, keeping it simple, etc. You are spot on!

0percentABV

As I said I was court ordered as a teenager to do 28 days of in-treatment plus I had like 2 years of out patient treatment and I never really forgot what I was taught. In reality that knowledge is probably what made me snap out of it before I got in too deep. Granted it took me about 2 years to come to the conclusion that no matter what I tried to do I would always lose in the end but part of me always knew what the truth was. I am an alcoholic. And thus I fall under the same rules of all alcoholics. What they say is true, the first step is admitting you have a problem and are powerless over it. Once you can honestly admit that that's when the real healing begins.

0percentABV

That's hard and I hope you make it through unscathed. Personally I think it's unfair that you have to go through this. I can maybe understand them if they had a six pack or like a bottle or two of wine but it seems they are gearing up for a slosh fest with a recovering alcoholic in the house. Not cool.

And the word you are looking fir is "growlers." But thanks for playing "Name the Beer Geek Vessel" and we'll see you next time on Alcoholic Jeopardy.

Gilmer

True.

FBL

I wasn't a "beer snob" (mostly Miller products), but my life certainly revolved around it. I drank 12-18 beers a day, EVERY day (even more than that on the weekends) for 10 years and was a 2-3 times a week binger for the 20 years before that. Quitting was the best thing I've ever done. Living sober is SO MUCH better. I wish you well.

soberlicious

hahaaa I'm sorry but "growler" is what my teenage boys call a very large bowel movement.

Gilmer

That's a new one--I'm sure my two teenage boys would love to hear it!

FlowersJasmine

Glad that you are here, you will get great support here.

0percentABV

BOOM! One month down. Still, my record is 4 months but that's when I was just "taking a break" and "reevaluating myself" and "I'll be back." bigsombrero said something a few posts up about leaving the scene behind and he is right in many ways. For me not only the beer scene that I was involved in but also my relationship with alcohol. Those 4 months I had sober last year was in some ways a dry drunk. I was still immersed in that life and I was still mentally reliving my 20 year relationship with alcohol, mostly the good times because when you are newly sober and not fully committed and you feel good, you think about "celebrating." I was chomping at the bit to drink. I told myself 1 year sober. I lasted 4 months and after that it all spiraled quickly, mentally more than anything though I did have some epic drinking moments. Once you crack the proverbial seal of alcoholism, the flood gates are open and everything comes rushing out.

This time however there is something different. And that is acceptance. And not just acceptance in my alcoholism but acceptance in what I need to do to close that chapter in my life and move forward. Last year I wanted desperately to turn back the clock to a time when beer and I were buddies. And when I wasn't drinking it was like beer was out of town for a while and I was just waiting for him to come back. But once you learn you can't control and then you start to hide it because you don't want people to see it that's when things get ugly. For me during those days I would control physically 7 out of 10 times but after the first sip I would get the burning desire to just sit there and drink over and over and over and 3 out of those 10 times I would and it would devastate me. Those final months were hard because I knew what I had to do and I did not want to do it. I did not want to lose my friend, my coping mechanism, my social life, and worse of all I didn't know a life without it. At first, I was afraid, I was petrified. Kept thinking, I could never live without it by my side. But then I spent so many nights thinking, how it did me wrong. And I grew strong and now I'm learning how to get along.

Today I have a chance to live life fully, clearly without the weight on my shoulders. I know I can't drink anymore and I am perfectly comfortable with it. I want to move on with my life alcohol free. I want to spend the next 20 years absorbing everything around me and process it sober. Completely sober. The effects of alcohol last a lot longer than people expect, especially when you're a drunk. Heck I'm only a month in, I'm F stoked to see what the next month, year and beyond will bring. I know a few sober people out there and I am so jealous of them, hell I was jealous of them when I was drinking, pining of a day when I can experience their clarity. Well, here it is. I got it and I am not going to let go of it.

Thanks for listening.