Complacency Sets In
Complacency Sets In
I now have over 100 days but I almost drank the other day. Any bad memories are starting to fade. I feel really good physically. Everything is good, but I think I am starting to feel cured. Getting complacent. I was really surprised to find myself thinking the other day I could have a drink with a friend who was visiting. It just didn't seem like a big deal all of a sudden. I had to remind myself that people who go to AA don't drink. I thought about SR. Would I post here again. Would I go to another AA meeting. If I did, would I be 'returning'. If it were not for SR and AA I would have caved for sure. Thankfully I am not starting a new streak.
The thing is tho - you deliberately chose another way - you didn't drink
Some might say thats actually quite a good thing rather than a bad one
I think tho yeah - we can be very good at lying to ourselves - at rewriting history - at rationalising things away.
Personally I don't believe I'll ever be cured, there's no remission, I won't wake up one day and find my alcoholism has somehow reset itself into normalcy.
I hoped for that too many times.
As long as we remember - really remember - what our relationship with alcohol was like and what it did to us, we'll be ok VR.
D
Some might say thats actually quite a good thing rather than a bad one
I think tho yeah - we can be very good at lying to ourselves - at rewriting history - at rationalising things away.
Personally I don't believe I'll ever be cured, there's no remission, I won't wake up one day and find my alcoholism has somehow reset itself into normalcy.
I hoped for that too many times.
As long as we remember - really remember - what our relationship with alcohol was like and what it did to us, we'll be ok VR.
D
Thanks Dee. I wanted to post something about this because I know the first few weeks are so hard, but then I see so many people slip after months of sobriety. I wonder why, after months, would someone slip. Its because of what you say. After a few months our minds are ready to rewrite history. Just another phase to be aware of and be prepared for.
I have this so much it becomes very surreal, like I imagined all those years of misery. I think it has something to do with how we handle pain, ie, we forget it! But it can get very freaky with things like this. I was thinking about this this morning because I don't feel physically or mentally anything like I did when I was drinking, I'm like a different person, and of course the first thing my AV thinks is maybe this person doesn't have a drinking problem! I think I'd have caved if it wasn't for this place too. Well done on 100 days x
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