duane1

I have found running/exercise to be a huge help when I am feeling down. In fact just yesterday I was in a funk and did not like where my thoughts were going. So, I went for a run. Got done and my whole outlook had changed. Eating well also provides me with a positive mental outlook.
I also agree with LoveMeNow in that you should try a hobby to dedicate your sober time to. I play guitar. It provides me with both a calming feeling and a feeling of accomplishment that I know wouldn't be possible if I was still drinking. Let's face it, they don't throw a parade for you when you quit. So sometimes I think you need other ways to show yourself what positive effect being sober has on you.

Huglets

Evan, it's clear to me that you are extremely insightful and intelligent. You are going to do great things in life if you stick on the sober path.

For me, I was completely p#ssed off for the first 6 months. I spoke about this in meetings and most times I saw people shaking their heads, not understanding and giving me those "poor thing" looks. But I was mad. REALLY mad. I mean, I LOVED drinking. It was my best friend, or so I thought, and I was in mourning. How could "they" take that away from me? I felt like a 5-year old stomping her feet because I was told no.

Ya know where that attitude got me? The prize I won was a 6 day hospital stay after my last relapse. Doctors desperately trying to save my life because was body was soaked in alcohol and shutting down.

Since that time, a mere 77 days ago, I have learned to accept and almost embrace the fact that drinking is not for me. I've let go of the word "can't drink" because it made me feel like someone or something taking it away from me. Sure, I can drink if I want to. I'm a 45 year old woman, who in the hell is going to stop me? I simply chose not to drink because for me the end result means insanity and death.

I understand where you're coming from, I really do. I'm so glad you're on here posting about these thoughts in your head instead of reaching for a bottle/drug.

I also understand stinky days. So far, I've had a stinky week, and it's only Wednesday. This morning, I was fighting the urge to drink at 9:30 this morning. I lost my job back in early December due to my last drinking episode. The job hunt has been frustrating and this week I have been met with a lot of rejection. My days are boring and filled with job hunting and self-doubt about my abilities.

But I choose to hang on. This too shall pass. Drinking will not cure anything. What if someone called to schedule an interview and I answer when I'm clearing intoxicated?

Hang in there! We are all in your corner! And please continue to post. Your written thoughts are such a help to me, especially now when I am struggling as well.

mecanix

No . I'm sober, that's a miracle . I'm going to die, life is a terminal illness , every day i wake up is one day less to experience all the richness of the world , feel my body , see the sky , tell someone dear i love them , so any moment not spent expressing compassion , that is a wasted oppertunity .

It's not all good i've had my share of bad ... but the up's, the down's that is in everyones life.. i'm phillisophical about it .. The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune , whatever happens it can't stop me expressing my fundamental love and joy .

Why me ? maybe because i'm strong enough to take it on ... more poo commin my way ?... i get a bigger shovel .

Bestwishes, M

Tammy47

Hang in there Even. I'm only day 5. I can relate to your feelings/thoughts. Thankfully reading these posts helps me put things into perspective and not go there! so far so good. Soberfallon, your story is truly inspiring. I'm 47 year old woman and managed to keep job/hide my secret from family etc. I drank alone at home, waking up with black outs, bruises... Probably very close to losing job (sick days and stuff). Reading your post is giving me strength to refrain. Thank you

Coldfusion

This line gets to me every time I hear it, because my dad had only one leg. I have been asked to read this aloud several times, because it opens a particular meeting that I go to every week. So I'm going to collect my thoughts here and speak up at this Friday's meeting.

My dad lost his leg fighting for freedom, including the right to get drunk.

People do not grow new legs, but they may be fitted with artificial legs. There are many different types of artificial legs. When I was growing up, dad's leg was made of wood, attached with leather straps, and had an inflexible ankle. More advanced legs were available, but the Veterans' Administration would not pay for them. After many years wearing a primitive prosthesis, dad was injured to the point where he could no longer wear a leg. My father was known as a social and environmental activist, and actually had some kind of personal falling out with late Senator Inouye over Dan's refusal to wear an artificial arm.

Alcoholics may recover from their disease, and the medical care they receive can determine their long term success. In the 21st century, our government should care for those who are disabled by addiction. I found this to be the case when I sought help. It would be a disgrace to my father for me to waste the gift of recovery I have been given.