nogard

However, today I dont have to listen to it or act on it.

Weasel1966

HW... That's an awsome post. Glad you saw this post was not about being gay. It was about attaching one self to something that somehow and in some way gives us reasons to drink.

I bet you are an awesome mom!

Thanks for posting.

PeacefulRain

There are gay folks everywhere here and not being forced into bars because the have no place else to go as you mentioned in your original post.

I fail to see what prop 8 (gay marriage) has to do with that.

Everyone is dealing with SOMETHING and can always find something to use as their reason to drink.

Weasel1966

Again peace... That's the point of this post. Glad we agree.

PeacefulRain

:ghug3

vegibean

weasel, thing is, it is different, their lives are different, it doesn't make it an excuse, but what LGBT's have been through in struggling not only with their identity, but also being disparaged, disowned and abandoned by friends and family because of being naturally who they are. How people react and deal with a situation cannot be compared to the next person, gay or straight. To me, people are like finger prints, especially when we're talking biological, psychological and physiologically. No one is going to deal with things the same way, and I bet there are plenty of LGBT's out there that DON'T have a drug or alcohol problem.

I have several friends who are gay, and two of my girlfriends who I connected with were because of how we related in our past relationships and our horrible X's yet theirs were with the same sex and mine was heterosexual, they still dealt with those same pains as I did, my X husband was, and still is a horrible human being and it was when I was with him that my drinking took off like rocket.

I support all of my gay friends and mostly because many of us straight people haven't walked a mile in their shoes, and you can throw them along with the rest of the minorities that have been shunned because of just being them, it's sad. As long as you're a good person it shouldn't matter what you are.

Anyway, weasel, no disrespect intended, I think I got the point, but many of us started using because we had issues that we were trying to numb or not wanting to have to face so to me it doesn't matter what it is that hurt you, but that you are able to heal from the inside, put the drink down and lead a better, healthy sober life and be proud of the life you live, gay, straight, black, Jewish, Catholic, Muslim...

RobbyRobot

Yes, I too used because of personal issues/struggles/whatever but all of that was just personal excuses and justifications to use. Getting clean n' sober means having some understanding of using for what it really is and what it really isn't:

using always requires a justified excuse
using never has a realistic unjustified stand-alone reason

vegibean

I really didn't want to respond, but I just have this to say, I get the point, but I also don't want to minimize why anyone got to where they got to, and we all did which is why we're here on SR.

Hence my signature, I think we should all keep it green and remember how and why we got here, staying sober is what is important.

Delilah1

I did a Rugged Maniac race the first weekend after I stopped drinking. They were giving out bracelets for unlimited free beer at the finish for racers 21 and over, I remember throwing that bracelet away before starting!

I was supposed to do a half marathon on Sunday, however, the flu had other ideas (I know I should have gotten the darn shot!! )

Eliz181144

Interesting question. I am gay and an alcoholic. The only thing I can say, that is different, is that some AA groups in NYC can be dating hot spots. The reason I say this is because when I go to AA groups in the village or Chelsea its cruise central. Recovery does seem secondary. So, I have taken to AA groups in other areas of the city where recovery is the focus. I can't speak to other areas but I have always found this interesting/dismaying.

soberlicious

Well I'm a divorced, atheist, bi-sexual, opinionated, self-recovered female...lol just about every subgroup in America can dig up a reason to hate me. WTFever...the victim mentality doesn't look good on anyone. Weird thing is, the true victims in this world, children who are abused, people who are the victim of violent crime, the elderly without resources...those who really have something valid to cry about, rarely do. They do what they need to do. They accept help. They grow. They do something...whatever it is they can do...to move forward.

That is not to say we aren't all shaped by our pasts. I believe we are. I am not responsibile for misdeeds done to me as a child. I am not responsible for others being less than accepting of me. I am, however, solely responsible for my own actions. Today and every day.
When I really wrapped my head around this...I began to see how pervasive the AV is. It will literally use anything.

Weasel1966

SR never let's me down. You folks see what's put out there and make valid points. I am not a debater of issues by any means. I keep opinions close to the cuff.

I whole hearted agree that what ever it is that brought us to drinking... None is more important than our own. And we each have to make the choice to not drink. Making it collectively helps me so much!

Thanks!

jennikate

I don't think the point raised minimizes in any way people's past experiences, pain, trauma or suffering. I think instead it raises the issue of doing whatever it takes to get sober and stay sober. I think it's about overcoming what's behind you, learning to deal with whatever life has thrown at you without going to drugs or alcohol. Certainly, most of us have learned that using an artificial substance doesn't make those past or present hurts go away and instead only compounds them. There are many, many situations/circumstances that can lead to drinking or drugging in one's life. Ultimately, that solution is self destructive and justifying it does not help. In the end, you will be what you are gay, straight, black, white, disabled, whatever. In those, you have no choice. You have a choice to not be a drunk.

Valll

I have gay and some who are alcoholic relatives and friends Ken here in the UK, although we are supposed to be a very open and accepting society in every which way, if you are a member of a minority group, you always somehow feel as though you are playing "catch up" to the rest of the world (NOT!)

My theory is if the minority groups just went around doing their business with utter confidence and pride (scuse the pun) it could only push things along - hopefully one day into total acceptance.

Sorry (blush) for going on...I have my reasonsx

Sounds like you are doing great dear Ken albeit an occasional hiccup which is totally understandable :>)