Weasel1966

I guess my reaction comes from my own fears of me kidding myself. I long held the idea that being gay made a difference. That it was always at the bar to meet people and drugs were always there. It was just a matter of when not if I would do them.

But SR and AA and just plain my own efforts at sobriety have taught t me many lessons. One being that my AV would have me believe any of the excuses I made for not staying sober.

I have a much clearer head now... Only to continue to learn... And that is gay does not present any more obsticale to sobriety than anything else I decide to put in my way.

LDT

Yes...being compassionate is essential....but being compassionate to the point of enabling is never a good thing.

To address an earlier post....there is also a large body of evidence showing that the numbers for women binge drinkers are significantly increasing....do I blame my alcoholism on the fact I'm a woman? Nope ..... Other research shows that "educated people" are more likely to drink ( I don't make this stuff up). Is the reason I'm an alcoholic because I am smart? ( if only it were that simple).

Like MIR...I drank because I wanted to, and quit because I had to. I would love to be able to blame my abusive, dysfunctional parental units and my brother's death for my mess..... and don't get me wrong....sometimes I do. But it's ultimately ME who swallowed the booze. And it's ME who is responsible for my sobriety. It's hard some days, and I cry.... and others, not so bad.... like this whole week ( really peaceful)... See, my deal is this...... I don't really care any more if it's hard or easy, I'm just going to do it....because I have to.

One last thought. When I give my piano students a new piece of music to learn, they often say " But this music is HARD"..... And I say " Yes. Yes it is....but YOU can do hard things."

So let's all just do this hard thing

ScottFromWI

Personally I see no connection between providing alcohol to a minor and compassion or understanding. To me it borders on child abuse and criminal activity. I'm glad you were able to overcome it all be sober now, it's a good example to all that just about anything can be overcome if you work hard enough.

RobbyRobot

Awesomely said!!

:ghug3

Natom

Hmm an interesting question. It's only when I hit recovery that I had the courage to question and then expand on my sexuality. I know several gay and lesbian people in recovery and I think the main problem is they struggle to find identification. Luckily there are specific groups set up for this very problem.

Natom.

RobbyRobot

Thanks, Scott.

I gotta tell you though, back when I was a minor age 12-15 say, so... thats like circa 1969-72, things were much different then in so many unfortunate ways. I remember smoking cigs with my doctor in his office, no less back then... course I was still under age, hahaha.

By 15 I looked old enough to drink in bars, no problemo. I had the full face beard, long-hair and everything, lol. Asking for anyones I.D. was usually reserved only on girls who 'looked underage', which for Ottawa at the time was 18, and so that particular I.D. check was more for obvious legal reasons of possible rape charges then anything to do with drinking.

Try and see the more essential point of my post rather then dimiss it on techincal grounds which have nothing to do with my point...

escapist

I remember a more booze friendly world. I graduated in 1978. Cops would stop you and drive you home or have you spill your beer. No jail, no calls to parents if you under 21.

PeacefulRain

I didn't post on that because the only thing that came to mind was WTF does being gay have to do with it????

Maybe because I'm in CA I don't get it?? Gay folks are the norm here just as straight folk are. Gay folks are in all the same places straight folks are. Your sexual orientation has no bearing on if you decide to pick up that drink or not.

ScottFromWI

I am sorry if I did not get your point, I in no way meant any offense. I feel compassion is warranted in recovery and support situations. That is all I meant.

Coldfusion

Well, since we're talking about lifestyles and booze...

When I was running in the 1980's, there would be a free beer truck at the finish line of all the races.

Fast forward--this weekend, I am volunteering at a local race that is described as "a party with a little running thrown in." I am pretty new to recovery, so I am trying to prepare myself for temptataion...

escapist

Come to think of it these days we would call what the cops did for us teen drunks enabling. Denial was part of my society.

RobbyRobot

No worries.

Certainly compassion is an ideal offering in any and all support situations. I do feel though that compassion itself is not enough to bring somebody into the light of reason from the darkness that addiction creates. Often enough compassion makes people comfortable without really creating anymore of a solution then existed before compassion was given, has been my experiences, frankly speaking.

Thanks, Scott.

Spinach

Interesting topic Weasel, I read years ago about students with long courses have a greater chance of alcoholism it's more acceptable to be drunk. You might make sober issues later, therefor giving problems longer until challenged. It also mentioned other groups of people that through life choices are around drink more have the same increased risks and the gay community was bank in there. I read that when I was 21 and I'm 50 now.
John.

Dee74

I have no insight into being a gay alcoholic, but I have 20 years experience being a musician and living a life where drinking and drugs were expected.

I had to decide which was more important - the lifestyle or me. I chose me.
I'm still a musician - just with a different lifestyle.

I also have insight into ' valid reasons' for drinking. I'm what they used to called handicapped. I'm literally a spastic with cerebral palsy.

Like Robbie I got a lot of 'geez, with your life you must need a drink' growing up...sadly I came to believe that.

Over the last 6 years sober my physical challenges have actually become greater....my bodies not aging well....but I'm sober and the happiest and most at peace I've ever been. Go figure

my 'valid reason' was absolute nonsense.
D

RobbyRobot

You know it, friend.

Coldfusion

Many AA Districts have LGBT meetings.

Check you local and nearby listings!

Quinne

Great post & beautifully written as always!

I've learned to (personally) "wind my neck in" as Grandpa used to say.

I'm young, female and well-educated. I come from a loving, supportive family.

What does this mean?

Absolutely nothing in the context of my alcoholism!

Xx

Weasel1966

Peaceful rain... That was the point of the post. But not everyone is evolved. If CA was so normal then prop 8 would not be there. Not any intention of debating here. Just pointing out that may gay peoe struggle and turn to booze.

The point of this thread is that it does not make it harder or easier based on anything other than ones own intent to care for themselves.

Being gay is not who you have sex with.... It's about who you can fall in love with.

K

heathersweeds

Great thread! I'm Heather an alcoholic, with an autistic boy. Man, did I use this as an excuse to drink when he was diagnosed. I wanted to check out and numb for ever.
After some legal issues, I got sober, and realized, I should be honored. God gave me this little boy that needs me. Alcoholism and Autism are both in my life, But today, I don't drink and my son has grown in major ways, he laughs and giggles today and so do I

nogard

I have a dis ease who's sole purpose is to kill me and whilst doing that make my life insane and miserable. It uses whatever it can.