Received

Thanks Anna and Dee.

I have, at times, become frustrated at what I see as constant promotion (even the long huge promotional billboard like signatures have at times been very distracting).

Above stated, as I've become more proficient navigating the forum, I tend to have several SR tabs open at once. Unfortunately, there have been a couple of times I've posted something in newcomers thinking I was on another forum.

Obviously my proficiency needs some work.

Coldfusion

(bump)

Thanks to everyone for all the great posts here at SR!

LindaLou

Being a newbie, I thought that was all normal for this site. I just took what I needed and left the rest.

Thank you SR staff, for all that you do for the community!

With the help of SR, I've made it to Day 12! I am grateful!

Fandy

bump

Natom

Alas I try to make my posts unbiased. And I do believe they are. However I do regularly see the old 'do the 12 steps or you're going to die style posts' and I don't agree with them even though I am in 12 step program. Simple fact of the matter is that not everyone needs a 12 step program. I need one, and so do other forum members but that doesn't mean everyone does. I always try to keep people informed of the options available and just mention what I do.

Cheers guys,

Natom

Joe Nerv

Thanks again folks for doing an awesome moderating job. I'm doing my best to keep my posts in the "I". Not perfect yet, but that's the goal.

Fer what it's worth, I don't get annoyed with people promoting their chosen methods for recovery, but I do get annoyed when people take subtle stabs at what they don't choose to do. It happens here often, and rather than participate I've decided I'm going to start using the ignore function. Which is something I'm curious about anyhow.... not sure how it works yet, but I guess I'll soon see.

I'm startin to like this place even more than another forum I've been a member of since 2000. Schweeet!

Xune

I've not noticed this issue.

Are people perhaps mistaking confidence, forthrightness and enthusiasm in a particular recovery method as being pushy?

ScottFromWI

In some cases maybe yes, in some cases probably not. As a relative new member here I definitely see posts that I interpret as being pushy or repetitive "advertisements" for specific recovery plans with no substance other than said advertisement. I personally just don't pay heed, but i could see how some would be offended or turned off to the forum because of them.

Fandy

Bump...

mecanix

I like the way SR is people being people , just being decent and helping eachother.

I just remeber how turned off i was by rhetoric/hyperbole of any disposition when reading forums drunk .
I don't have answers, i don't even know what your questions are , just happy to help and share what little experience i've got if i can .
Bestwishes, M

EnderWiggin

no, no they are not. i highly doubt the high number of 'thank you' posts in this thread are all from people that are mistaken.

TrixMixer

HMMMMM---Sometimes on a Newcomers to Sobriety forum that might come across as a little self-rightous "as in AA is the only way top go" anything else...your on your own????

MIRecovery

I can only say what worked for me and what didn't

Professionals X 4 - Drank
On my own - Drank
AVRT- Sober for 6 months but Drank
Rehabs - Drank after #1 but #2 got me into AA
AA + AVRT - Sober for 3.5 years

Obviously the only one I am qualified to talk about is AA so I do. I would not advise someone on a path where I failed because I simply am not qualified. I know far more about how to not quit drinking than I do about how to quit. From my perspective New Comers have to be advised by people who have long term sobriety through means other than AA. If another program can inspire someone to stay stopped I am all for it no matter how it is presented.

EnderWiggin

i enjoy your posts and they have been very helpful to me. just sayin.

TrixMixer

Hi MIRecovery, This is not directed to you rather the posters here who just give 1 line answers that AA or some other program is the beginning and end with very little investment in helping the person from their own experience.

RobbyRobot

I can talk all day long about being sober and not mention even once how i got to be sober. My personal choices are not what is the best part of my message of hope and experience - what is the heart of my message is staying clean n' sober is a life worth living and more so, that life can be happy and abundant with personal freedoms and responsibilites that i could never have had , and never did have, while drugging and boozing. The more essential message is the one that offers hope for those seeking THEIR OWN PATH. For those who want to quit and NOT STOP BEING WHO THEY ARE THEMSELVES. For those who want sustained RESULTS over and above whatever methods...

Sure, we can only talk *first-hand* about what we have ourselves experienced, and what we have learned from others experience we can talk *second-hand* and offer our informed agreement.

Everybody knows when they are being sold something, and those struggling with alcohol and drugs are very sensitive to being on the lousy end of that relationship... this is not news.

Since it dosen't matter to anyone which paths i've personally chosen, I'm very slow to speak at length of 'how' I did 'what' to 'get' 'where' i'm presently at... because it dosen't matter... unless i'm directly asked, and that is an invitation to speak to the matter at hand, which is entirely different then me just going on and on with rhetoric about whatever...

YEM

As long as you follow the principle of attraction rather than promotion, all should be well.

Sharing my experience through NA and how it has helped specifically = attraction.
Telling someone the only way they can stay clean is going to NA = promotion.

I don't see why this is hard for people to grasp.

MIRecovery

Your words carry a tremendous amount of weight with me because you have been sober for a long time. I have gotten to where I am by listening to people like you.

I know from personal experience that no amount of sobriety rainbows and unicorns would have made a difference even though they exist in abundance. I just could not see that far ahead. I was forced into AA kicking and screaming and I got a glimpse of the rainbows and unicorns from the people at the table. If someone had not taken me by the lappels and shaken the crap out of me I doubt I would be alive today

Itchy

I couldn't agree more Anna and Dee. I am all for whatever recovery method works for each, and changing/adding another when one does not. Of course having used them all and dropped all but SR since, I guess I am just recovered.

I don't make it a point to try to predict a horse race by the color of the horse. Every color can win, and does.

RobbyRobot

Thanks for the recognition, and sincere support, which is always appreciated.

I've no problem with your essential experiences, and having them shared as you decide for them to be shared. I desire no less priviledges for myself.

There have been several times I too required to have the truth of my 'alcoholic situation' brought up to me in a face-to-face and personal-like way so that i would get the message i needed to sustain my sobriety, so i do relate to your experiences, no problemo.

Its when any of us decide that we can go just ahead and just offer 'exactly' how it worked for us, before we have even given the potential listener a chance to find their own voice, their own place, their own selves...

Once we have good knowldege of their real-life experiences, and they are inviting others to share experiences as an aid to what they themselves are trying to achieve, then by all means, being personal and exact at that point makes tons of good sense.

I like to know someone is open to my message before i lay it out for them. I don't have time to waste myself for no good reason on those that are deaf, blind, and dumb to my experiences. After decades of sobriety, hearing myself talk gets rather boring when it doesn't do much for those who aren't listening anyways, lol.

Great communication is both listening and speaking in play together, and not more or less a one way kinda stream. Sharing is a wonderful combining of experiences, and when the shared experiences force whatever to be swallowed, the message often enough gets lost, is my experience working with others.

Thanks, MIR. Rock on, friend.