First post for binge drinking and need advice
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 10
Hi letscallitaday,
I don't think I have any advice, but it looks like you've already got a lot of good advice already.
I wanted to say something because in some ways your situation seems similar to mine. I only drink once a week too, but I have the same problem as you (and many others) - I don't know when to stop.
For a long time I thought I couldn't have a problem as I wasn't drinking often enough.
Then one day, I don't know what insanity came over me, but I decided it would be a good idea to buy a small bottle of vodka in secret. Just one, just once. I don't remember what my excuse was now, but at the time it seemed perfectly reasonable.
A few months later and I still have a secret stash, which I top up regularly. I feel terrible about it, and fear the day when my boyfriend will discover it, but I just can't seem to stop. I still only drink once a week though (most of the time). You might think hiding alcohol is something you would never, ever do. I used to think that too.
Well hopefully you won't get to that point, and from what you're saying it doesn't seem like you will. You seem to have a good sense of awareness of the problem, which no doubt will be a great help to you.
Thanks for posting and good luck. :-)
I don't think I have any advice, but it looks like you've already got a lot of good advice already.
I wanted to say something because in some ways your situation seems similar to mine. I only drink once a week too, but I have the same problem as you (and many others) - I don't know when to stop.
For a long time I thought I couldn't have a problem as I wasn't drinking often enough.
Then one day, I don't know what insanity came over me, but I decided it would be a good idea to buy a small bottle of vodka in secret. Just one, just once. I don't remember what my excuse was now, but at the time it seemed perfectly reasonable.
A few months later and I still have a secret stash, which I top up regularly. I feel terrible about it, and fear the day when my boyfriend will discover it, but I just can't seem to stop. I still only drink once a week though (most of the time). You might think hiding alcohol is something you would never, ever do. I used to think that too.
Well hopefully you won't get to that point, and from what you're saying it doesn't seem like you will. You seem to have a good sense of awareness of the problem, which no doubt will be a great help to you.
Thanks for posting and good luck. :-)
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: north east england
Posts: 40
So figments are you trying to stop or think you have it under control? Doesn't sound good hiding drink, I'm certainly no expert at all, but that's one of the things certain 'tv' shows always show as a sign of someone with a drink problem.
Why dot you tell your boyfriend see what he says about it. I reckon he probably knows to be honest. Hope your ok
Why dot you tell your boyfriend see what he says about it. I reckon he probably knows to be honest. Hope your ok
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: north east england
Posts: 40
Originally Posted by Pamel 
There's a drama aspect to this that I can't quite identify, but for me, it is (stupid) "getting away with something".
For what it's worth, Pamel
For what it's worth, Pamel
Cheers
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Australia
Posts: 342
Bad dog I can relate to your post - except for the arse tattoo that is.
I always held by job, my marriage is intact, kids love me etc.. yet I was bloody messed up on alcohol. Things are so much better in all these areas without it. Just because I never hit a cliched rock bottom doesnt mean my life wasnt deep in the s@#t with potential to sink way further.
I really believe I dodged a bullet, waking up to myself relatively young and with health intact. As Baddog said, you will find many people comment on how they wish they made the decision early and avoided all the crap.
The biggest problem though is that after some glorious time free and sober the AV will try to sneak in the back door. Tell you things werent so bad, memories fade, you're better now, weren't like the rest to start with.. blah blah. Sorta like missing out on good deal eg. cheap real estate. You can look back after a growth in price and think man why didnt I buy that, it was so obviously a good thing. Or you get in early, fight the self doubt, committ when it counts, then sit back and reap the rewards as time goes by.
I tell myself every morning I wake up four simple words. "I dont drink alcohol" Do not underestimate the power of these words. I did not use the words cant, today, will not, shouldnt etc..
I wont lie, it has been real hard of late for some pretty unique reasons. I have discovered an anomaly, that it easier to fight the good fight quietly when alcohol is your enemy and your back is to the wall. Rather than when things are great, the focus is on you and everyone wants to buy you a celebratory beer for a job well done. Particularly when they know you as a drinker.
Just gotta remember those words
I always held by job, my marriage is intact, kids love me etc.. yet I was bloody messed up on alcohol. Things are so much better in all these areas without it. Just because I never hit a cliched rock bottom doesnt mean my life wasnt deep in the s@#t with potential to sink way further.
I really believe I dodged a bullet, waking up to myself relatively young and with health intact. As Baddog said, you will find many people comment on how they wish they made the decision early and avoided all the crap.
The biggest problem though is that after some glorious time free and sober the AV will try to sneak in the back door. Tell you things werent so bad, memories fade, you're better now, weren't like the rest to start with.. blah blah. Sorta like missing out on good deal eg. cheap real estate. You can look back after a growth in price and think man why didnt I buy that, it was so obviously a good thing. Or you get in early, fight the self doubt, committ when it counts, then sit back and reap the rewards as time goes by.
I tell myself every morning I wake up four simple words. "I dont drink alcohol" Do not underestimate the power of these words. I did not use the words cant, today, will not, shouldnt etc..
I wont lie, it has been real hard of late for some pretty unique reasons. I have discovered an anomaly, that it easier to fight the good fight quietly when alcohol is your enemy and your back is to the wall. Rather than when things are great, the focus is on you and everyone wants to buy you a celebratory beer for a job well done. Particularly when they know you as a drinker.
Just gotta remember those words
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 10
Originally Posted by letscallitaday
So figments are you trying to stop or think you have it under control? Doesn't sound good hiding drink, I'm certainly no expert at all, but that's one of the things certain 'tv' shows always show as a sign of someone with a drink problem.
Why dot you tell your boyfriend see what he says about it. I reckon he probably knows to be honest. Hope your ok
Why dot you tell your boyfriend see what he says about it. I reckon he probably knows to be honest. Hope your ok
Telling my boyfriend about it would be the right thing to do, for sure. You're right, he probably already knows. I think he at least suspects it. So why don't I tell him? This is a good question. And I guess the answer is because then I'd have to stop denying that it's a problem, and I'd absolutely have to stop drinking, FOREVER.
I realise there's a lot of contradiction in what I'm saying, but I hope it made some sense. :|
Anyway I don't want to take over your thread, so I'll leave it at that.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: north east england
Posts: 40
Originally Posted by figments
I agree, it's definitely not a good thing to hide drink. I'm ashamed that I do it. And the fact that I do says to me that it's definitely NOT under control. But I don't always see it like that. So for a time I'm intent on stopping, but I always find some excuse to start again.
Telling my boyfriend about it would be the right thing to do, for sure. You're right, he probably already knows. I think he at least suspects it. So why don't I tell him? This is a good question. And I guess the answer is because then I'd have to stop denying that it's a problem, and I'd absolutely have to stop drinking, FOREVER.
I realise there's a lot of contradiction in what I'm saying, but I hope it made some sense. :|
Anyway I don't want to take over your thread, so I'll leave it at that.
If your not ready to stop you won't, I've been telling myself for years now that I haven't got a problem and I can control it. Truth is I can't so I've realised it's just simply no more. Not in 3 months , 6 months or ten years. (Well that's the plan anyway) chin up and do what you think has to be done
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: north east england
Posts: 40
I'm already starting to try rationalise a way I can drink on a weekend and just have a couple. I'm not going to though I'm just having feelings like
'Ill be boring if I'm sober and everyone else is drinking' and 'how can I go the rest of my life without one drink' and its only been 5 days!!
My way of thinking previously was simply 'I don't drink during the week' so that wasn't a problem , now I'm trying to get my head round 'I don't drink period'
Guess its not as easy as it seems no matter what stage of alcoholism your at. I just look forward to that day I can say 'I haven't had a drink for 4 weeks as since I was 16 I've only gone 4 weeks without a drop when I joined the Royal Air Force. Looking forward to that moment.
'Ill be boring if I'm sober and everyone else is drinking' and 'how can I go the rest of my life without one drink' and its only been 5 days!!
My way of thinking previously was simply 'I don't drink during the week' so that wasn't a problem , now I'm trying to get my head round 'I don't drink period'
Guess its not as easy as it seems no matter what stage of alcoholism your at. I just look forward to that day I can say 'I haven't had a drink for 4 weeks as since I was 16 I've only gone 4 weeks without a drop when I joined the Royal Air Force. Looking forward to that moment.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Leeds, England
Posts: 17
'Ill be boring if I'm sober and everyone else is drinking' and 'how can I go the rest of my life without one drink' and its only been 5 days!!
My way of thinking previously was simply 'I don't drink
i stopped 3 weeks before christmas.
at first i was terrified, as in just couldnt see a way that i could go through xmas without a drink, and i dont mean a proper drink, just any drink, ive never had a dry xmas, since i was 16 , and that doesnt mean i would be drunk just , you know what its like , everywhere you go everyones having a drink.
but i got through it, you have to make a plan, 2 years ago id have been in a proper mood if we were going somewhere and my missus said it was my turn to drive, mainly cos shed have 3 drinks and stop, that got me angry, if im driving she should be drinking loads !!!
so i said id drive everywhere, which made sense anyway as i wasnt going to be drinking and she doesnt have a problem so why shouldnt she have a few drinks.
and it worked, it raised very few questions as i was driving people obviously assumed thats why i wasnt drinking.
i couldnt face saying id never drink again, i just told myself that i wasnt drinking TODAY,
we cant see the future, we dont know whats going to happen , all i say is that today im not having a drink, and so far ive had 54 "todays"
i thought id be dull and boring without a drink, but im not, im me, i think about what i say, and i see other peoples point, if i have adrink that often goes out the window.
i do find thats sometimes other people are dull , but i cant do anything about that, thats just reality.
Im very greatful for the fact that i know i can go out tonight and wake up tomorrow worry free and ready for the day. to be honest thats a far better feeling than working out on my brain clock when im safe to drive and feeling bad cos i know ive "done it again"
My way of thinking previously was simply 'I don't drink
i stopped 3 weeks before christmas.
at first i was terrified, as in just couldnt see a way that i could go through xmas without a drink, and i dont mean a proper drink, just any drink, ive never had a dry xmas, since i was 16 , and that doesnt mean i would be drunk just , you know what its like , everywhere you go everyones having a drink.
but i got through it, you have to make a plan, 2 years ago id have been in a proper mood if we were going somewhere and my missus said it was my turn to drive, mainly cos shed have 3 drinks and stop, that got me angry, if im driving she should be drinking loads !!!
so i said id drive everywhere, which made sense anyway as i wasnt going to be drinking and she doesnt have a problem so why shouldnt she have a few drinks.
and it worked, it raised very few questions as i was driving people obviously assumed thats why i wasnt drinking.
i couldnt face saying id never drink again, i just told myself that i wasnt drinking TODAY,
we cant see the future, we dont know whats going to happen , all i say is that today im not having a drink, and so far ive had 54 "todays"
i thought id be dull and boring without a drink, but im not, im me, i think about what i say, and i see other peoples point, if i have adrink that often goes out the window.
i do find thats sometimes other people are dull , but i cant do anything about that, thats just reality.
Im very greatful for the fact that i know i can go out tonight and wake up tomorrow worry free and ready for the day. to be honest thats a far better feeling than working out on my brain clock when im safe to drive and feeling bad cos i know ive "done it again"
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: north east england
Posts: 40
Originally Posted by baddog1970
'Ill be boring if I'm sober and everyone else is drinking' and 'how can I go the rest of my life without one drink' and its only been 5 days!!
My way of thinking previously was simply 'I don't drink
i stopped 3 weeks before christmas.
at first i was terrified, as in just couldnt see a way that i could go through xmas without a drink, and i dont mean a proper drink, just any drink, ive never had a dry xmas, since i was 16 , and that doesnt mean i would be drunk just , you know what its like , everywhere you go everyones having a drink.
but i got through it, you have to make a plan, 2 years ago id have been in a proper mood if we were going somewhere and my missus said it was my turn to drive, mainly cos shed have 3 drinks and stop, that got me angry, if im driving she should be drinking loads !!!
so i said id drive everywhere, which made sense anyway as i wasnt going to be drinking and she doesnt have a problem so why shouldnt she have a few drinks.
and it worked, it raised very few questions as i was driving people obviously assumed thats why i wasnt drinking.
i couldnt face saying id never drink again, i just told myself that i wasnt drinking TODAY,
we cant see the future, we dont know whats going to happen , all i say is that today im not having a drink, and so far ive had 54 "todays"
i thought id be dull and boring without a drink, but im not, im me, i think about what i say, and i see other peoples point, if i have adrink that often goes out the window.
i do find thats sometimes other people are dull , but i cant do anything about that, thats just reality.
Im very greatful for the fact that i know i can go out tonight and wake up tomorrow worry free and ready for the day. to be honest thats a far better feeling than working out on my brain clock when im safe to drive and feeling bad cos i know ive "done it again"
My way of thinking previously was simply 'I don't drink
i stopped 3 weeks before christmas.
at first i was terrified, as in just couldnt see a way that i could go through xmas without a drink, and i dont mean a proper drink, just any drink, ive never had a dry xmas, since i was 16 , and that doesnt mean i would be drunk just , you know what its like , everywhere you go everyones having a drink.
but i got through it, you have to make a plan, 2 years ago id have been in a proper mood if we were going somewhere and my missus said it was my turn to drive, mainly cos shed have 3 drinks and stop, that got me angry, if im driving she should be drinking loads !!!
so i said id drive everywhere, which made sense anyway as i wasnt going to be drinking and she doesnt have a problem so why shouldnt she have a few drinks.
and it worked, it raised very few questions as i was driving people obviously assumed thats why i wasnt drinking.
i couldnt face saying id never drink again, i just told myself that i wasnt drinking TODAY,
we cant see the future, we dont know whats going to happen , all i say is that today im not having a drink, and so far ive had 54 "todays"
i thought id be dull and boring without a drink, but im not, im me, i think about what i say, and i see other peoples point, if i have adrink that often goes out the window.
i do find thats sometimes other people are dull , but i cant do anything about that, thats just reality.
Im very greatful for the fact that i know i can go out tonight and wake up tomorrow worry free and ready for the day. to be honest thats a far better feeling than working out on my brain clock when im safe to drive and feeling bad cos i know ive "done it again"
Thanks mate
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
