reaching out
as a sober contributor
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: California
Posts: 1,312
Welcome Shelly
It sounds like you are finally fed up with the cycle of addiction and are ready to stop for good. Dont hesitate to come to SR and post whenever you feel the urge to pick up a drink. We have all been there and are more than willing to help you win your battle against the beast!
Congratulations on staying sober today!!
Congratulations on staying sober today!!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: montana
Posts: 28
Oh...this makes just want to cry!! Who would have known a complete stranger can understand sooooo much!! Thank you all for your kind words and encouragment. I felt great this morning, and feel even better now. God bless you and thanks agan
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: montana
Posts: 28
Im sitting here at home, friday night, had some pizza, now watching a movie weird thing is...my boyfriend here with me is on his 4th or 5th beer, and its not bothering me one bit! Seriously! Very odd to me...but i will take it lol. Yet im very surprised....???
weird thing is...my boyfriend here with me is on his 4th or 5th beer, and its not bothering me one bit! Seriously! Very odd to me...but i will take it lol. Yet im very surprised....???
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: montana
Posts: 28
[QUOTE=shelly12;3766861]Im sitting here at home, friday night, had some pizza, now watching a movie weird thing is...my boyfriend here with me is on his 4th or 5th beer, and its not bothering me one bit! Seriously! Very odd to me...but i will take it lol. Yet im very surprised....??????/QUOTE]
weird thing is...my boyfriend here with me is on his 4th or 5th beer, and its not bothering me one bit! Seriously! Very odd to me...but i will take it lol. Yet im very surprised....??????/QUOTE]
Member
Join Date: Sep 2008
Posts: 62
Hi Shelly..
You are the female me.... I drink and act the same way you do. The problem I have had over the last 20 plus years is that I get to thinking that I can drink normal and control my behavior.
Everytime I start thinking like this , I end up drinking into a a blackout, wake up in places that I shouldnt be sleeping/ passed out at, and then go through terrible terrible psychological withdraws about what I said and did and about what I think I might have said and done. The psychological withdraws play terrible tricks on my soul.
My wife is a non drinker so I dont have toxic behavior in the house. She has been very supportive during my relapses that I ve had over the last 15 years that we've been together. This time she is still not talking to me after 5 days.
Although.... she didnt move out this time and today she did text me from the next room to tell me that supper was ready and she is still wearing her rings...I am hoping that there is hope.
This time around I've been telling myself that I will never ever be a normal drinker. I plan on using this site for support and in time I'd like to find a home AA group to join.
Best wishes to you !
Gall
You are the female me.... I drink and act the same way you do. The problem I have had over the last 20 plus years is that I get to thinking that I can drink normal and control my behavior.
Everytime I start thinking like this , I end up drinking into a a blackout, wake up in places that I shouldnt be sleeping/ passed out at, and then go through terrible terrible psychological withdraws about what I said and did and about what I think I might have said and done. The psychological withdraws play terrible tricks on my soul.
My wife is a non drinker so I dont have toxic behavior in the house. She has been very supportive during my relapses that I ve had over the last 15 years that we've been together. This time she is still not talking to me after 5 days.
Although.... she didnt move out this time and today she did text me from the next room to tell me that supper was ready and she is still wearing her rings...I am hoping that there is hope.
This time around I've been telling myself that I will never ever be a normal drinker. I plan on using this site for support and in time I'd like to find a home AA group to join.
Best wishes to you !
Gall
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: montana
Posts: 28
Iam on day 7 without driking a drop. Feels good! I had a couple urges yesterday, but just kept doing my house work. I have found something that has been helping me...i keep a picture of me when i was a young child, when i feel the desire to drink, i look at the beautiful, innocent, little girl and ask myself, "do you really want to do this to her? Does she desrve it?" I know it sounds corny but hey seems to really help!! Just thought i would check in and share.
seems to really help!! Just thought i would check in and share.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: montana
Posts: 28
The hubby left today for the weekend. Its my first weekend home alone without wanting to drink. Iam feeling very anxious today. Havnt had this feeling in the whole 11 days of not drinking Im kinka scared. Usually when he leaves is my peace to drink. I dont want to, there is just a little peice of my mind telling me that it is ok. Probably because thats usually when i do it. How can a little thing like this trigger and have such an effect on something that I have been doing so good on. Im working til 6. Hopefully the urge doesnt get stronger around that time.
PS Another thing is is that I dont like to be alone. Drinking always kept my mind off of being scared and alone. Im going to try my hardest to over come this. But if its starting now its going to be very hard tonight and tomorrow....wish me luck!!!!!
Im kinka scared. Usually when he leaves is my peace to drink. I dont want to, there is just a little peice of my mind telling me that it is ok. Probably because thats usually when i do it. How can a little thing like this trigger and have such an effect on something that I have been doing so good on. Im working til 6. Hopefully the urge doesnt get stronger around that time. PS Another thing is is that I dont like to be alone. Drinking always kept my mind off of being scared and alone. Im going to try my hardest to over come this. But if its starting now its going to be very hard tonight and tomorrow....wish me luck!!!!!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Finger Lakes, NY
Posts: 521
Originally Posted by shelly12 
I can go days or evn weeks without drinkng but when i break down and start, i get totally bombed and black out. I do stupid things and hurt ppl that i love. Usually i know this will happen but drink anyway thinking i will just have a couple, buts its NEVER a couple. Goes to waking up and not remembering what i did or said. Sick of it!!! Jst want to STOP!!!!!!!
Am i on the wrong site for this?
Am i on the wrong site for this?
I'm new here too (just this week). I had to look at your post twice to make sure it wasn't mine! I am just like that!
I've been thru a 6 month out-patient program and it worked...for a while. I didn't seek any "aftercare" and fell off the wagon - hard. I finally decided that I'd had enough, and found this site.
Seek outside help if needed, but stick with us. Here, you can reach out 24-7. And from all I have read...we all care!
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
You can do it, shelley! It's thinking about it that overwhelms us, but try to stay in the moment and get involved in something, or come here and just read. I drank mostly alone so I understand the trigger (I'm FREE to drink as much as I wnat - hooray!), but think about waking up in the morning, relaxed, refreshed and feeling good about yourself because you got through another "first" sober. Hang in there! :ghug3
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