veryready

It took me a little while to realize it, but I never wanted to control it. I thought moderation was the goal. Moderation sucks. I wanted to get hammered. If you feel like setting drinking limits is hard, if you always want one more (even if you manage to stop) then moderation isn't an option.

To answer you question though, the reason controlling my drinking never worked was because I could not control my drinking.

HopingForZen

So I had pretty good willpower in the wine store. That was before my first drink of the evening, after all. And so, I was somewhat successful at limiting what I would purchase and therefore that would limit what I drank in an evening. I finally realized that the alcoholic part was the fact that I knew I had to limit how much was in the house, because if it was in the house, it was consumed. That kind of "moderation" ultimately did not resonate with me anymore. No part of me was learning to be moderate after I had that first drink.

auden67

I was only moderately successful at moderation. But the times I let moderation slip away (fewer times at the end but still significant) were bad enough that I said enough is enough. Not worth it. I mean, what else in my life do I possibly do that I have to justify things like I did with alcohol? A mild example is money (what else did I give that kind of budgetary privilege?) and a terrible example is fighting with loved ones or risking professionalism (WTF booze!)

Dress it up all you like but alcohol is a drug (just like heroin, nicotine, and caffeine) and the drug benefits just didn't outweigh the drug side effects for me anymore. Once I finally accepted I could live without the positive drug benefits, then I really couldn't justify the negatives. And, I'm scared of some of the negatives. Drinks, even just a few a night, wrecks havoc with your metabolic systems. Both my parents are diabetics thanks to alcohol. No thanks.

That said, I do think it's a personal decision. My partner still drinks, my dad still drinks, my friends still drink, my brothers still drink. I don't really hang out with sober folks (though I think it would be fun. and I don't want my drinking friends to feel weird about it nor give me some sort of medal. It's a personal choice, and one that makes sense to a lot of drinking folks who are tired of justifying their drinking to themselves.

LadyinBC

I tried just drinking on the weekends, didn't work. I tried only drinking a couple of drinks, didn't work.

I use to think I had control over it and told myself that I did, but no I didn't.

Even when I quit, i would last a few weeks. I realized after my last relapse that I needed to change things in me in order to quit drinking. Had to change the way I was thinking and things I was doing. Cause what I was doing, wasn't working.

Leadfoot

I have yet to run across an alcoholic that didn't try to control their drinking.

terrazinaa

Why controlled drinking never worked for me? That's a long one...

I started drinking at 15, quickly got to the point of regular drinking and hangovers, and stupid actions you later regret. At 16 decided that it's enough, changed the school, left all my drinking "friends". Was sober until my prom. Then I decided that my problems before were because of the "bad company", so I started drinking again. I started slowly, a beer here and there, ended at 24, divorced, 2 months in a hospital, broken front teeth, broken arm, lots of stupid stuff behind. That time I blamed some relationships problems for my excessive drinking. After a few months of being sober I graduated, moved to China, and decided that NOW I am ready to drink responsibly. Which I did at first. Then a bit less responsibly. 7 years ago I ended up a few thousands dollars in debt, living off my friend's kindness, and with a lot of regrets again. After about a year, I decided to get a job and to control my drinking again. Which I did... for a while. Met my husband, moved to Canada. My first bottle of wine here lasted for 5 days! I was just taking a sip in the evening. Then it was 3 days. Then I found that there is some great rum in Canada. I was certain at this point I HAVE to control it. And I sure did try... everything...drinking on weekends, not drinking on weekends, not drinking hard liquor, only spending a certain amount of money on alcohol...and the list goes on. Still I was getting more and more drunk each week until I got that unpleasant feeling that I am heading for another disaster. So 5 days ago I stopped. I probably would already find another excuse to why I was drinking excessively, and would start trying to "control" it again... but I found these forums and decided to try and do something radically different: to stop trying to control and to try and actually stop. That's my life story in a nutshell.

When I hear someone say that they've been drinking heavily before, and now they can control it... I always think... "Now you can, but how about a year from now? 3 years from now?"

So why controlling my drink never worked? I don't know, really. But I know that I've spent 20 years trying to control my drink. If I were to live for a 1000 years, I wouldn't mind spending another 20 trying even more strategies. But my life isn't going to be that long, and I don't want to spend the rest of it trying while destroying myself and hurting people around me.

Sorry for the long post, painful topic.

Pete55

For me, i need to be pedantic and specific, but that's me and my mind. I am a real alcoholic .
Therefore i can never ever drink safely, i tried for 35 years. I did not quit, quitting does not work for me because in my mind it leaves reservations. I need to surrender to the fact that someday i may be able to drink like non-alcoholics. I have to surrender the "script " of "maybe". This surrender is to alcohol btw.
To try to drink alcohol, for me is like to getting in the ring with mike tyson in cage and challenging tyson he may not make it out in one piece.
Then, he wraps the cage around me.
That's what alcohol does to me, wraps me up every time, and my alcohol related issues is like being wrapped up in a cage of legal,moral,ethical,medical and financial turbulences.
If surrender to alcohol, it respects me because i respect it's nature.

Melacole

The only time I drank moderately was because I didn't have any other options (ie at a function where more than one or two weren't available). And even in those situations I would find any way I could to get out of them and find the next drink.

Twenties

Problem for me is, my drinking starts progressing from one or two drinks, to 4 drinks and a buzz, to drunk occasionally, to drunk everyday. I slip, I slip, deeper and deeper. I get the shakes and drink more to combat that. I get hungover and drink to relieve that. I justify my drinking over and over. I'm an alcoholic. I have to break the cycle completely.