HereIAm321

And you will not burn in hell. There is no hell. The only hell is the one you are suffering in right now in THIS life.

spacestation

It was more of a "i have securiy right outside that door" Now what is the problem...And "you need to stop seeing me" and her Dr boss accusing me of assaulting her, Like not! Never happened. Never Happened, insenced at the accusation.

I guess the strong attitude of wanting her was enough to provoke that response. But I did and she dressed like a tease.

You know what thats it, she was teasing me and I was in a state of mental decline. As a guy I could stand more punnishment like this, but at this time well then I could stand more of it, Geez, I'm a guy and how can a slutty therepast be at all helpfull.

She was gone from the office shortly after.

Have to get this off my chest, sorry

Jeni26

Are you going to seek out a new therapist?

paulhewson

That describes me exactly. Try to look forward though, like I'm trying to do.

spacestation

Sorry Moderators

I've turned this Thread into a Drunk Blog.

That is what some drunks like me do.

And thanks for the encouragement.

I'm going to..

and this

And that

And the other thing

hamabi

Sounds like your drinking is rough and is getting rougher as you go along.

I drank after some rehabs and treatment deals too. The truth is I had some drinking related heat to lose each time and I could kid people who cared that I was doing something about what they perceived as a problem.

I put some work into getting and staying sober when I saw a problem, and grasped I probably couldn't resolve it well with my unerring mind long term.

Do you have a problem, one you don't seem to be able to resolve well for the long term?

If not, then more time living this way may give you the clarity you need to see reality. But if so, then you have a chance to improve things by getting involved in what is working well for others who had your problem and also were unable to resolve it.

Wish you well either way this pans out for you.

TrixMixer

Hi Spacestation,

So she was the Angel God sent you, and now she is a ****??

If you would please re-read those 2 posts and see if you see anything strange about that kind of thinking??

I think you will, and I think alcoholism is your way of self medicating a bigger problem......perhaps. IMOO

PLEASE see a MALE Psychiatrist or Psychologist that can prescribe meds. I believe you have needs for medication and you need to talk to someone one on one (male) in order to release what seems to be an enormous amount of guilt--for what I don't know, but the female therapist thing is concerning!

.....but that's just me and I am not a doctor, but believe that is who you need , Immediately. Please!!!!

Whatever you decide---there is hope, your just past finding it yourself.
TrixMixer

soberlicious

I also had breaks with reality and lots of angry, confused, and distorted thinking toward the end of my addiction. Rehab may not have been helpful, but if you're serious about quitting then an in-patient detox may be the way to get you started. I hope you find relief. Addiction is a dark and exhausting way to exist.

spacestation

The guilt is a 30 year drinking binge that I cant stop.

Of course I say stupid stuff, but I am telling it like it is.

Too me this whole life requires an acting course. The whole world is out of touch and ignores reality. Has there ever been people with Morals? I know many people who are in touch with humanity. But they dont make a lot.

The CEO of the telecom I worked for 12 years was making 55 million a year and guess what he is blowing it up his nose and has a Barbie doll to carry his briefcase.

I just have become so cynical. The Premier of my area is a lying lawyer, just agreegeous how she believes she can spend a million dollars on a trip to the olympics.

Some health official expensed $350 000 in three years recently.

Yeah My head is not where it should be allright. But I dont want to rejoin the rat race. I'm not going to screw you just to make a buck. It is so offensive to me.

spacestation

you posted "Addiction is a dark and exhausting way to exist. "

Yes I agree. Thanks for the post on this Thread. You have it 100% correct. Scarry to be so out of control.

And my spelling has also got to improve. But one thing at a time. I will alwais use Humour to justify, and it gets me through.

Enough with this, Christmas was a serious bummer, and I have to stop thinking about these problems, so Bye.

soberlicious

Then my suggestion to you would be to put the bottle down and actually do something toward improving society in general. Any kind of social change begins with passion and action. Drunks have neither. Quit talking about it and get busy.