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I blew it again

Old 12-27-2012, 09:47 AM
  # 21 (permalink)  
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you absolutely failed...............sorry, can`t pat you on the back for that.
What do you expect forum members to do for you?
You had gone as far as you did which was awesome and you simply felt that you had it beat and you caved in while fully aware of what you did.
You sure did fail.
Start at day one again...........no rocket science there.
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Old 12-27-2012, 09:50 AM
  # 22 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Squizz View Post
Alcoholics drink. That's what we do, and that's what you did. No sense in beating yourself up over it. You can't change your past. But you certainly *can* change your future. Alcoholism is *not* a moral issue. It's an illness. And I'd *strongly* suggest finding a way to get to AA meetings. You will find the hope and encouragement at those meetings that you are seeking here. Except you will find it face-to-face.

Just my $0.02.
I absolutely disagree with you,,,,,,,,she should beat herself up..........why would we pat her on the back for drinking?
She failed in a huge way............wtf is with people here praising people for ******* up but ignoring posts where people need celebration for meeting goals........she failed.
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Old 12-27-2012, 10:21 AM
  # 23 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Squizz View Post
Alcoholics drink. That's what we do...
Although I don't identify with the word alcoholic, I do have an alcohol dependency that is in early remission.

Regardless of what you call my addiction, I do not drink alcohol.

Melanomagirl doesn't have to drink alcohol either.

She has the choice to drink or not drink.
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Old 12-27-2012, 10:30 AM
  # 24 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Camperboy View Post
I absolutely disagree with you,,,,,,,,she should beat herself up..........why would we pat her on the back for drinking?
She failed in a huge way............wtf is with people here praising people for ******* up but ignoring posts where people need celebration for meeting goals........she failed.
Did the OP fail or suffer a setback?

Really, who cares what you call it.

What matters is that Melanomagirl takes responsibility for her choices, learns from this experience and commits to what she wants for her life, which I assume is sobriety.

No one is praising her for drinking and no one is kicking her while she is down either.

When a child learning to ride a bike falls off their bike, the parents don't scream that their kid is a failure. No, they help them understand why they fell and then encourage them to get right back on the bicycle and give it another go.
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Old 12-27-2012, 10:36 AM
  # 25 (permalink)  
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Melanomagirl:
You asked, "Do I fight again or just give in to the temptation?" There is only one answer. Fight! Never give in! The booze is infinitely more powerful than you. It will destroy you and everything you love unless you fight it and, hopefully, win that fight. I earnestly advise that you enlist the help of others who are also in recovery. You say you're not "100 percent motivated". Look behind you. Over your back. There's something there ready to destroy you. It will take a bit of time. But alcoholism has plenty of time. And, in the end it always wins. Horribly. If AA is not available or congenial for you, try some other program or service. Good luck.

W.
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Old 12-27-2012, 11:03 AM
  # 26 (permalink)  
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Camperboy .... wow.

Let's not kick one of our own when they're down. For many of us, it takes numerous attempts to finally "get it" and stay on the Sober Train.

That said, I do believe in tough love ... but sometimes it is more damaging than it is helpful. I have had numerous attempts at sobriety ... some lasted months, others lasted just hours ... can we not show some empathy in spite of our personal experiences? Some of us got sober on the first try ... others took years but got it anyway. I'm somewhere in between, but if someone talked to me the way you just talked to the OP, I'd give up.

The OP is here. Still trying. Being honest. Let's support that. It doesn't mean we support the drinking ... we just support the effort. It's way better than saying "f*** it" and watching this soul go back out into the abyss.
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Old 12-27-2012, 11:09 AM
  # 27 (permalink)  
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Mel, most of us are where you are right now. I spent many mornings saying today was the day and it never was. Many more bad things had to happen to me before I finally quit for good. EVERYONE wishes they would have quit sooner but we all decide on our own time. I hope that you come to that conclusion sooner than later. Alcohol will keep taking from you until you decide enough is enough.
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Old 12-27-2012, 11:31 AM
  # 28 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by wpainterw View Post
The booze is infinitely more powerful than you.
I would add that it is utterly impotent unless consumed by the addict.
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Old 12-27-2012, 02:53 PM
  # 29 (permalink)  
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Personally I don't think failure is a very helpful word at all.

Coming back here and looking to start again is not a failure in my book.

Most of us feel enough shame without getting more of it heaped on us.

It's possible to be straight and truthful without slapping people around or humiliating them.

This recovery thing is hard work - if it was easy we wouldn't need places like SR.

I doubt there's be a lot of us here who haven't drunk or used again after we committed to not doing so.

It's astonishing to me how some of us sometimes seem to forget that, and how quickly too....

There is great support here Mel Girl...please focus on that

D
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Old 12-27-2012, 09:10 PM
  # 30 (permalink)  
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Thank you Dee and desertstrong. I wasn't looking for a pat on the back. I just needed to hear that others had committed to stop drinking, later drank, and then recommitted and stayed sober. I think people should be careful with negative posts...we don't know what others are going through. Someone could easily read that and think they are a failure do why bother trying. I agree we shouldn't pat them on the back. Just encourage. Empathize and encourage. Thank you to those who have encouraged me. Today was day 1
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Old 12-27-2012, 09:18 PM
  # 31 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Xune View Post
I would add that it is utterly impotent unless consumed by the addict.
Zune, the word "utterly" along with your avatar just made me chuckle a little.
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Old 12-27-2012, 09:24 PM
  # 32 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Melanomagirl View Post
Thank you Dee and desertstrong. I wasn't looking for a pat on the back. I just needed to hear that others had committed to stop drinking, later drank, and then recommitted and stayed sober. I think people should be careful with negative posts...we don't know what others are going through. Someone could easily read that and think they are a failure do why bother trying. I agree we shouldn't pat them on the back. Just encourage. Empathize and encourage. Thank you to those who have encouraged me. Today was day 1
I am glad you stayed sober today, and I agree with you about the negative posts. I originally joined this site in 2011, but it took me until October of 2012 to final,y be ready to quit. You have lots of people here ready to support you on your journey again, and each of us has been where you are now at least once, most of us many times. Looking forward to hearing how you are doing tomorrow on Day 2.
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Old 12-27-2012, 09:30 PM
  # 33 (permalink)  
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Today was day 1
great stuff!

D
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Old 12-28-2012, 08:53 AM
  # 34 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Camperboy View Post
I absolutely disagree with you,,,,,,,,she should beat herself up..........why would we pat her on the back for drinking?
She failed in a huge way............wtf is with people here praising people for ******* up but ignoring posts where people need celebration for meeting goals........she failed.
Failed. No my friend, you are flat-out wrong. To *truly* fail, would be to not try at all. And secondly, why the hostility?

I'm not "praising" her at all. But I'm not going to beat her up over it neither. I'm sure she's done that enough to herself.
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