I am so sick of myself
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Between Meetings
Posts: 8,997
Originally Posted by Lunetta 
I called my area's AA # and she directed me to a website, what does Promises mean? It's the earliest meeting and probably the only one I could go to being I have people coming over/husband is coming home, etc.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: NJ
Posts: 20,458
Welcome back. Please make an appt. With your doctor and be honest about how much and when you drink.
They are there to help you, not judge you. You can't consider pregnancy until YOU are safely sober for a good length of time. There is no room for relapse while being pregnant, you have the care of another life.
They are there to help you, not judge you. You can't consider pregnancy until YOU are safely sober for a good length of time. There is no room for relapse while being pregnant, you have the care of another life.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Ca
Posts: 29
"I know waiting for January is a cop out but to be honest I am hosting Christmas Eve tomorrow (i have nothing done), then going to my husband's family's home for Christmas Day, if I am not sipping on something they are going to think I am pregnant, which I am not. From January til summer there is never much family stuff planned so I am hoping it can build up my resolve to not drink during that time."
- Chickonabike - (Sorry I don't know how to do the quote thing)
That's EXACTLY how I feel right now too. I have to travel and hang out with my husband's family today and tomorrow (lots of driving involved) and I don't want to keep going to the bathroom to vomit and shake and have them thinking I'm pregnant when I'm certainly not. I want to quit right now but the first of the year seems so "clean" and the only time that there is nothing going on social-wise. It's kind of funny that by still drinking we're hurting the ones we love while we're trying to love them back. (AKA - going to a function drunk so you don't vomit vs. just not going to a function because you need to take care of yourself)
I don't know what point I had to make except that I understand and I hope you all the best. You're going to be awesome! Thanks for your post.
- Chickonabike - (Sorry I don't know how to do the quote thing)
That's EXACTLY how I feel right now too. I have to travel and hang out with my husband's family today and tomorrow (lots of driving involved) and I don't want to keep going to the bathroom to vomit and shake and have them thinking I'm pregnant when I'm certainly not. I want to quit right now but the first of the year seems so "clean" and the only time that there is nothing going on social-wise. It's kind of funny that by still drinking we're hurting the ones we love while we're trying to love them back. (AKA - going to a function drunk so you don't vomit vs. just not going to a function because you need to take care of yourself)
I don't know what point I had to make except that I understand and I hope you all the best. You're going to be awesome! Thanks for your post.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 3,550
Lunetta:
Sounds like the physical situation you describe (high liver enzymes, heart, etc.) need immediate attention. The key thing is to get treatment while the situation is still reversible, which I hope it is. The liver is said to have dramatic recuperative powers but it's crucial to stop the drinking. Can you stop today and, if the detox is creating problems, which is something that could occur, check into a hospital?
This thing of drinking when the spouse is away is something which I used to do and is very familiar to me. I used my spouse as a "control". When she left town it was party time for me. And the party never had a happy ending.
Anyway, your physical situation sounds like it's very dicey and needs immediate attention. If it were me I would contact my M.D. right away.
W
Sounds like the physical situation you describe (high liver enzymes, heart, etc.) need immediate attention. The key thing is to get treatment while the situation is still reversible, which I hope it is. The liver is said to have dramatic recuperative powers but it's crucial to stop the drinking. Can you stop today and, if the detox is creating problems, which is something that could occur, check into a hospital?
This thing of drinking when the spouse is away is something which I used to do and is very familiar to me. I used my spouse as a "control". When she left town it was party time for me. And the party never had a happy ending.
Anyway, your physical situation sounds like it's very dicey and needs immediate attention. If it were me I would contact my M.D. right away.
W
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Eastern Us
Posts: 1,366
Hi. If drinking is messing up your life, stop drinking. There are many ways to help you. AA is fine if you think that is something you want to try, for me I just decided of to drink anymore and that has worked to me. I tried AA and it wasn't for me.
Thriving sober since 12/18/08
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Orlando, FL
Posts: 3,115
Lunetta,
I could have written your post, word for word 4 years and a few weeks ago. I was 'fine' on the outside, I was dying on the inside. I began hiding my alcohol, drinking before work. My world somewhat crashed in on me one morning when my boss asked me to come talk to her about something totally meaningless.. and knew I was drunk (or something, I'm not sure if she knew what the hell was going on). She had a colleague friend of mine drive me home, my husband was there, and I slept it off.
Without going into the nitty gritty of what happened next, I'll tell you the good part. I never drank again. I called about 20 counselors in my area, desperate for help. It took me two full days to track down someone that had addiction experience and was covered by my insurance. I made an appt with him the next day, and continued to see him twice a week for about 6 months. It was the most difficult yet beautiful experience of my life. Getting sober is easy, staying sober is hard work.
A few months later, I became pregnant (we had been trying.. thank goodness it didn't happen until I was healthier). Slowly my marriage solidified, my employer didn't fire me, and I had that baby who is the light of my entire life. He's three now, and my word.. I never even knew that I had this capacity to love and to nurture someone else this way. I attribute my new life to the action I took to address my alcoholism. It was HARD. I wanted to give up many times. If I would have, who knows what would have happened, but I didn't.
I was you, you can be "me".. loving yourself, loving your beautiful life, and loving sobriety. Please stick around this time
We do recover, and we can build amazing lives.
Jess
I could have written your post, word for word 4 years and a few weeks ago. I was 'fine' on the outside, I was dying on the inside. I began hiding my alcohol, drinking before work. My world somewhat crashed in on me one morning when my boss asked me to come talk to her about something totally meaningless.. and knew I was drunk (or something, I'm not sure if she knew what the hell was going on). She had a colleague friend of mine drive me home, my husband was there, and I slept it off.
Without going into the nitty gritty of what happened next, I'll tell you the good part. I never drank again. I called about 20 counselors in my area, desperate for help. It took me two full days to track down someone that had addiction experience and was covered by my insurance. I made an appt with him the next day, and continued to see him twice a week for about 6 months. It was the most difficult yet beautiful experience of my life. Getting sober is easy, staying sober is hard work.
A few months later, I became pregnant (we had been trying.. thank goodness it didn't happen until I was healthier). Slowly my marriage solidified, my employer didn't fire me, and I had that baby who is the light of my entire life. He's three now, and my word.. I never even knew that I had this capacity to love and to nurture someone else this way. I attribute my new life to the action I took to address my alcoholism. It was HARD. I wanted to give up many times. If I would have, who knows what would have happened, but I didn't.
I was you, you can be "me".. loving yourself, loving your beautiful life, and loving sobriety. Please stick around this time
We do recover, and we can build amazing lives.Jess
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: California
Posts: 181
to be even lamer I'm hiding out in my room while my mom and mother in law prepare Xmas eve dinner. Thank god they are who they are I couldn't ask for a better family. Ill be back soon to really make the change from drunk a** to sober.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: UK
Posts: 2,937
I would rather people be wondering if I was pregnant then wondering when I am finally going to do something about my drinking to be honest.
You are building up situations in your head that just do not exist.
After a few initial 'can I get you a drink' and 'why you not drinking' questions, no-one will be concerned.
People are more likely to gossip about outrageous drunken behaviour than someone who declines an alcoholic drink and opts for a coke.
This is first hand experience for me and has been over 315 days.
Honestly no big deal.
You are building up situations in your head that just do not exist.
After a few initial 'can I get you a drink' and 'why you not drinking' questions, no-one will be concerned.
People are more likely to gossip about outrageous drunken behaviour than someone who declines an alcoholic drink and opts for a coke.
This is first hand experience for me and has been over 315 days.
Honestly no big deal.
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