sirbiznitch

Alright.. I first started drinking around 12 and things just escalated from there.... At 18 I went to college and became worse.. I eventually tried almost every drug there is. Though the only one I was " addicted" to was pot... And that's just because it was more available than beer was.. I basically spent almost all my student loans on it which essentially led to me dropping out and qouoting.. but at college I met a girl who would become my Ex- wife.. I had two baby girls with her... Although by this time I didn't smoke anymore as I could get my beer whenever I wanted... Between working all the time and I mean between 80 and a 100 hours a week... She left me for one of my friends.. and the divorce was ugly.. regardless... We live about 7 hours away from eachother and I don't see my girls but about twice a year.after that my drinking got really bad but I met an awesome woman with a beautiful son that I hope to be my wife but its not looking to good because of my addiction.. I'm about to lose everything for a drink.. it sounds ridiculous but unless your an alcoholic you just can't understand.. there's so much stress and things on my mind the only way to depress that is with my alcohol.. but then again once that wears off its back to the same problems and stress and almost just feeling alone.. and that results in basically a repeat of the day before.. I want to quit drinking.. but its somethin hard to do when everyday is a challenge.. even at work.. basically pop the first top around 9 am... I'm constantly surrounded by my weakness ... I want to quit so bad but its the hardest thing I've ever tried to do.. are AA meetings any good and do they help? Or I'm open to any advice anyone has.. I'm loseing everyone in my life from this and I don't know who to ask anymore.... Thank you

ru12

AA works for a lot of people. Somehow being around other people with the same affliction helped me feel less raw. There are also many other paths to sobriety: Rational Recovery, SMART, Lifering are but a few. The one thing they have in common is that you have to stop drinking. It is very hard to do at first, and the thought of not drinking again ever is hard to swallow. So I just worried about not drinking now, in the present moment. I have two years sober and if I can do it so can you.

hypochondriac

Welcome to SR Sirbiznitch

Stopping drinking was the hardest thing I have ever done, but it gets easier. Get all the support you can, AA, counselling, I like CBT stuff about addiction... changing the way you think. And of course you need to speak to your doctor too. You can do this Sirbiznitch! x

tomsteve

are AA meetings any good and do they help?

in april of 05, i was at the point of desperation. the pain of getting drunk exceeded the pain of reality and it was take another drink and kill myself or get help. i chose help though AA. meetings, being around a fellowship of poeple who knew exatly where i was by way of having been there themselves, getting the big book of alcoholics anonymous( you can read it online), and putting into action what it says to do, the craving, compulsion, and obsession was removed. i started not hating myself. life took on new meaning. i was not in self pity any more. fear had subsided.
today, life is pretty awesome. life still happens, but now i know how to handle it. and the amazing thing that has happened, something i didnt think possible, is that i am able to live life and go through whatever happens without wanting to drink over it.

raja12

I'm sorry for your issues. So you know the cycle alcoholics live in. I tried for many years and would do ok for awhile. My problem is I always,always,relapsed. I can't even begin to count the times. Think about a program available. There are a lot. There is a lot of support,but no magic fix. But its possible. You really have to want it. And you can do it. No1 else can for you. Best wishes.

tinkanman

welcome sirbiznitch. you are not alone. it starts today. don't drink. take it slow. stay in the moment. don't worry about the future. you are going to need support and this website is a great place to start. we are here with you and we all know exactly where you are coming from. we've been there and don't want to go back. good luck

sirbiznitch

I really appreciate all you guys.. I will check in frequently Im sure.. I really do wanna get through this.. I'm glad I found all of you

sirbiznitch

If I may ask... How did you guys stop?

Wifi

For me I put the plug in the jug, went to AA and got really involved in my recovery. There are lots of different recovery methods so if AA doesn't work for you try something else. Although I have had periods of years of sobriety, every time I get complacent and forget where I came from and stop working on my recovery, I convince myself I can drink normally and the process starts over. Each time it seems harder and harder to get back. Welcome to SR... We are here for you if you need to talk...

LadyinBC

Like everyone else it was very hard to quit. I tried doing it on my own and failed over and over again.

You can go to AA, counsellors etc.

Like someone said, I just did it a minute at a time at the beginning. It really does get easier as time goes on, but it was the hardest thing I've ever done. Believe me I didn't think I could do it, but I did. And so can you. Have faith.

Haltman

I don't know if you are familiar with the big book or not, but these first three steps got me through the hardest times of staying sober.

Here are the steps we took, which are suggested as a program of recovery:

1) We admitted we were powerless over alcohol — that our lives had become unmanageable.
2) Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
3) Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.

Auvers

Good for you, posting and seeing that you need to quit drinking. I quit and was determined not to drink for at least 30 days. The first month sober gave me enough evidence that a better life lay ahead if I kept alcohol out of my life, so I now have over 6 months since quitting. It has gotten progressively better, it does take time to move beyond the physical and mental grip of alcohol dependence. I did not need medical supervision, but it is best to check your situation out with a doctor as it can be dangerous in the early days after quitting. You can do this. Make a plan and commit to it. Best.

pheona123

Try AA you have nothing to loose.

instant

I found when I managed to quit that my ability to handle "stress" had improved dramatically.

It retrospect when my nerves were shot and I was hanging on by a thread everything was stressful. Every unexpected demand was a drama I had to "cope" with.

alcohol sold me the line that it was the only thing getting me through- it was a lie- but I believed it.

it is now very clear to me that alcohol had eroded my natural resilience. Thankfully it returned. It can for you too.

Herrick25

Consult a doctor when you stop because you could have a seizure if you have been drinking everyday and start in the morning. You may need to be detoxed.

NapsteR1

Welcome and well done for reaching out, knowing there's a bunch of folks out there that are going through the same thing and bizarrely, even though I've no other relationship with them other than this site, the thought of having to post on here that I'm back to Day 0 is a major factor in not wanting to open a bottle.

When I was drinking, all of life's challenges and problems seemed immediate and desperate like being in a dark cave with a tiny flashlight surrounded by screaming voices and I felt I really couldn't cope, that I was in such a f**ked up situation that I really needed the booze to keep it together. Only when you come round from having passed out the voices are screaming louder and your flashlight beam is smaller, but being a good alcoholic I'd have bought enough the day before to have a steadier to hand, and so begins another day.

Spend two or three days sober in a row and for me it was like walking through the remains of a house party the morning after, reading emails out of my sent items wondering what the heck I was referring too - like someone else had been driving me for a however long and trying to work out how the f**k to rebuild all the furniture and put everything back the way it was. In the first few days the realisation of this adds to the voices and increases anxiety and for me was easily enough to send me reaching for the nearest bottle with a big sense of relief but.....

The most amazing thing for me is the way that after about 9 days the flashlight turns into a high beam and that allows you to see the issues behind the voices, see more than one at once and that allows you to prioritise and start picking them off, then the anxiety starts to ease and the need to run away and blot out as guess what, there's actually less to blot out.

One day at a time, climb the ladder one rung at a time.

Hope this helps

FeelingGreat

For me the process of quitting began when I found the motivation. This did not happen overnight, but built up from the recognition that I had a problem, and that it was damaging my physical and mental health.
I did not use any system, but I've heard lots of success stories from people who went to AA, or used other systems (check out Secular Recovery).
Once you've decided to quit, get your doctor onside, have strategies in place to avoid temptation and cope with cravings, and check into SR every day.
All the best, if you succeed you won't regret it.

2granddaughters

I believe if you have a heart problem you go to a heart doctor, not a proctologist.

Please Google and read AA's "The Doctors Opinion", "How It Works" and "The Promises of Alcoholics Anonymous". See if anything rings a bell in those documents.

Call the AA number in your phone book and ask about "OPEN" meetings in your area. Open meetings are open to the public and there is a speaker telling his story, you will not be asked to talk or participate.

All the best.

Bob R

mytime66

Welcome to SR. Your question regarding AA is open ended if you ask me. It is good and yes it will help you. But only if you choose to open yourself up and put your sobriety first in your life. Looks like you have admitted to yourself that you are indeed an alcoholic and at risk of losing yet another relationship because of it. Now is the time to act on what you already know. Seek out the open meeting in your area and go. You have a lifetime to loose by not going. And you have nothing to gain by not going. Keep posting here as well this is like your portable AA group, not a substitute but it helps just the same. Good luck.

wpainterw

AA is how I stopped. For forty years I was in and out of counseling, detox, etc. but eventually I always started to drink again. Once I was sober for seven years but I picked up and drank on and off for thirteen more. Then, when it looked like I might die of liver disease if I didn't stop, I entered a 30 day rehab and that got me going with AA. I had some problems with AA which I won't go into but eventually I found a group with which I was comfortable and congenial. They all had a good sense of humor and were not too dogmatic about the various ways to recover. I've been sober for over 24 years and don't feel the urge to drink any more, even when I associate closely with others who are drinking. I think my chances of continuing in recovery are pretty good but I always have to be alert to that tiger watching me behind my back. Say I'm returning from a long trip alone and I'm tired and the person next to me in the plane seat orders a double martini. I might hear an old old voice inside me saying, "Why not just one? You can easily stop after that! You've been sober for so long!". And I have to remind myself that if I do that and "nothing happens" then very soon I might hear the voice saying, "See! You can control it now! Have another!" And I have another, and, soon another, and still another and in a few days the nightmare returns.
Anyway, that's how I stopped and how, with help, I hope to continue. The key to it all was the fellowship, encouragement and help of other recovering alcoholics. That had been missing all those forty years of "counseling". AA provided that for me. There are other programs which do that as well. I recommend any program which provides fellowship and hope.

W.