Families and Holidays do not always mix
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Lynnwood WA
Posts: 424
Families and Holidays do not always mix
I have been an alcoholic for half my life. I am almost 30 so that means I started way back in high school. I never thought I had a problem until I started waking up at 7am and drinking a bottle of vodka. I guess I always had a problem since I was planning my next drinking night every day or getting antsy when I couldn't get home fast enough to start drinking.
I decided to quit September 9th, it was a bad weekend of constant drinking and I finally realized that this is not going to be a great way to live. I had two slip ups and started again on October 21. I went through all the side effects; craving sugar, crazy headaches, very tired, etc. I was doing and feeling fantastic until my cousin came in to town for Thanksgiving. I told her up front that I was not drinking. She has excuses and reasonings for everything. She pushed and pushed and pushed until I broke down and had some drinks. I then continued to get very wasted through the holidays and finally came out of it on November 24. My cousin's dad and my mom are alcoholics, one is in AA and the other should be. I should have left the situation but I love this cousin dearly in my family of crazies and had not seen her in months. But I am pissed at her for not allowing me to be content with being sober. I have no problem hanging out with people drinking, no one has ever pushed me to drink and all have been very supportive in my decision. If anything gets out of hand, I can just go home. I do not crave alcohol anymore nor do I ever want to drink again. I have realized that I don't need alcohol to have fun; I can dance and be crazy and silly all on my own. I think that maybe my cousin, deep down, knows that her drinking is a problem and would have to except it if I quit. Any thoughts on how to deal with this situation? I haven't started AA yet, but plan to since intense familial pressure got the best of me.
I decided to quit September 9th, it was a bad weekend of constant drinking and I finally realized that this is not going to be a great way to live. I had two slip ups and started again on October 21. I went through all the side effects; craving sugar, crazy headaches, very tired, etc. I was doing and feeling fantastic until my cousin came in to town for Thanksgiving. I told her up front that I was not drinking. She has excuses and reasonings for everything. She pushed and pushed and pushed until I broke down and had some drinks. I then continued to get very wasted through the holidays and finally came out of it on November 24. My cousin's dad and my mom are alcoholics, one is in AA and the other should be. I should have left the situation but I love this cousin dearly in my family of crazies and had not seen her in months. But I am pissed at her for not allowing me to be content with being sober. I have no problem hanging out with people drinking, no one has ever pushed me to drink and all have been very supportive in my decision. If anything gets out of hand, I can just go home. I do not crave alcohol anymore nor do I ever want to drink again. I have realized that I don't need alcohol to have fun; I can dance and be crazy and silly all on my own. I think that maybe my cousin, deep down, knows that her drinking is a problem and would have to except it if I quit. Any thoughts on how to deal with this situation? I haven't started AA yet, but plan to since intense familial pressure got the best of me.
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Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 590
Welcome patty I'm glad you found us. I think that's exactly why your cousin doesn't want you to stop.
Personally I think you have to develop a good plan that includes how to handle being around your cousin. In my view you also need to decide which you want, to be around your cousin who doesn't support your sobriety or respect your wishes, or to get and stay sober.
Stick around SR, I've found loads of support here and think you will too.
Personally I think you have to develop a good plan that includes how to handle being around your cousin. In my view you also need to decide which you want, to be around your cousin who doesn't support your sobriety or respect your wishes, or to get and stay sober.
Stick around SR, I've found loads of support here and think you will too.
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Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Southern Ontario, Canada
Posts: 1,618
You sound like you are in good strong place with a solid plan and fierce determination.
I admire that
I agree that your cousin likely does not want to admit his/her own issues and is trying (maybe subconsiously) to get you to drink so it is much easier to not face his/her own issues. I have been around people like that before.
I have confidance that you can figure out the best way to overcome this
I admire that
I agree that your cousin likely does not want to admit his/her own issues and is trying (maybe subconsiously) to get you to drink so it is much easier to not face his/her own issues. I have been around people like that before.
I have confidance that you can figure out the best way to overcome this
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Lynnwood WA
Posts: 424
Thank you! I do love my cousin but I think I have to say goodbye for awhile so I can get to a good place in my sobriety. Maybe one day in the future when I have been sober for a very long time and have a plan to handle her then maybe I can stand up to her. I felt hurt because I thought that she didn't want to be around me because I am not drinking. But I know that I am the same old person.... just sober.
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