Jail, institutions and possible death--it's a reality
Sober Alcoholic
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 3,539
I read your posts in this thread and felt strangely encouraged. You said “I hope someone else can read this and see that they don't have to get this far.” Then later you said, “BUT if I can help one person, my experience would mean even more”.
You have found one of the true foundation stones to lasting sobriety IMO, namely to find some meaning in adversity, to turn a bad thing into a good thing by using your experience to benefit others. The line from “the promises" comes to mind “we will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it”.
I’m glad you didn’t wait 60 days to share this.
You have found one of the true foundation stones to lasting sobriety IMO, namely to find some meaning in adversity, to turn a bad thing into a good thing by using your experience to benefit others. The line from “the promises" comes to mind “we will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it”.
I’m glad you didn’t wait 60 days to share this.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: London
Posts: 1,010
Originally Posted by quitforme79 
I wasn't even going to post again until I had at least 60 days because I want people here to know I am serious about quitting. Just so tired of letting others down as well as myself.
Please keep posting & reading. You never know when you'll get that 'aha' moment.
S x
Saved By Grace
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Oop North, Furtlin' me Ferrets
Posts: 410
Quitform remember it could be so much worse like you said you could have killed someone or yourself. You messed up and there are consequences as you are now finding out. Combing benzos with alcohol is a recipe for disaster, and you got lemons turn it into lemonade by letting this be your rock-bottom. Let this be the last time alcohol/drugs will get the best of you. You can turn this whole mess into a positive if you use it to propel you into a life of sobriety and recovery. Get therapy, go to AA, reach out for help and support so that you can find satisfaction in your life again friend. Hang in there champ.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: east coast
Posts: 1,711
There is just so much great advice and words of wisdom, strength and hope from all of you that I am almost at a loss for words. I truly truly believe that I will get sober for good this time and not only because I WANT to but because I feel like I am meant to be here for a reason. I have felt so lonely and unloved for so long and I don't really understand the why of it. Yeh, I have childhood abandonment issues but I have a lot of supports I didn't even realize I had...UNTIL I ended up in this situation. Sure, they may be in different states, or on here 
but geography gaps can be bridged and I have a feeling that will happen a lot more for me now. Never wanting to let those closest to me know about my addiction or sadness really hindered me from being close to them because I was living to lives and lying to myself and them. I was afriad to let myself down by admitting how sick I have become. I am really really sick. And that's okay because if I stay sober it can only get better. I did keep thinking today about his this really will be just a "blip" at some point in time. (If I do the right thing that is). I am actually excited to start my intensive outpatient treatment tomorrow (which I set up today) because I have so many feelings to get out. I know that will slowly start to relieve this pressure I feel. I have been set back financially, yes. I am now unable to move into my new apartment because of lawyer and court fees. BUT I have a roof over my head and am alive and am back at work. Today that's the best thing I have to be thankful for. And for all of you and my supportive 3D peeps. I have a feeling this is going to be really really hard. As my aunt would say, "nothing good comes easy"!
but geography gaps can be bridged and I have a feeling that will happen a lot more for me now. Never wanting to let those closest to me know about my addiction or sadness really hindered me from being close to them because I was living to lives and lying to myself and them. I was afriad to let myself down by admitting how sick I have become. I am really really sick. And that's okay because if I stay sober it can only get better. I did keep thinking today about his this really will be just a "blip" at some point in time. (If I do the right thing that is). I am actually excited to start my intensive outpatient treatment tomorrow (which I set up today) because I have so many feelings to get out. I know that will slowly start to relieve this pressure I feel. I have been set back financially, yes. I am now unable to move into my new apartment because of lawyer and court fees. BUT I have a roof over my head and am alive and am back at work. Today that's the best thing I have to be thankful for. And for all of you and my supportive 3D peeps. I have a feeling this is going to be really really hard. As my aunt would say, "nothing good comes easy"!
Clear Eyes Full Heart
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 1,272
Quit please hang in there and get the help you need. It's horrible to think of you feeling so low you wanted to end it all. Depression and alcohol are a lethal mix for sure. I'm glad your aunt was available to help you in a dire situation.
It sounds like a rehab might be a good safe environment for you right now. It would be healing to be with others that are dealing with the same things with professional help right there. Depression and addiction don't have to be forever, you can overcome this and move forward.
Please know that your SR family is here for you and definitely don't wait to post-no one here is judging you. Post as often as it helps and let us know how you are. We'll be worried if you don't.
It sounds like a rehab might be a good safe environment for you right now. It would be healing to be with others that are dealing with the same things with professional help right there. Depression and addiction don't have to be forever, you can overcome this and move forward.
Please know that your SR family is here for you and definitely don't wait to post-no one here is judging you. Post as often as it helps and let us know how you are. We'll be worried if you don't.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: east coast
Posts: 1,711
Thanks freefall I will be here a lot again for sure. I am hopeful that adding intensive outpatient to therapy & aa will help me because I will be immersed in recovery & working on myself. I will definitely keep everyone posted.
I will be here a lot again for sure. I am hopeful that adding intensive outpatient to therapy & aa will help me because I will be immersed in recovery & working on myself. I will definitely keep everyone posted.
Clear Eyes Full Heart
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 1,272
Quit, sounds like you have a good triple barreled plan to help you stay on track. Glad you plan to post your progress-it will help you and probably a lot of others.
Have you read about other methods or read any of the books out there written by alcoholics? I find reading others' stories really hit home, and some of the principles of AVRT and urge surfing have made a huge difference too. If you have a bunch of things that you can relate to you'll be able to recognize your triggers and fight them off better.
As for everything you'll have to deal with re the other night, just take it a step at a time and if you're beating yourself up remind yourself that you'll never have to experience any of that ever again and move on.
Have you read about other methods or read any of the books out there written by alcoholics? I find reading others' stories really hit home, and some of the principles of AVRT and urge surfing have made a huge difference too. If you have a bunch of things that you can relate to you'll be able to recognize your triggers and fight them off better.
As for everything you'll have to deal with re the other night, just take it a step at a time and if you're beating yourself up remind yourself that you'll never have to experience any of that ever again and move on.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
