Pondlady

I think I am suffering from PAWS. I stopped drinking in June, and am approaching 5 months sober. My two daughters have both commented on how cranky and stressed I am. My thinking is negative. I love the SR gratitude threads, but lately, struggle to find something to be grateful for.....which makes me feel guilty...and in turn negative....a vicious circle! I’ve had a lot on my plate with loved ones having health problems, but don’t think it completely explains my negative outlook - which is very unlike me. I am short on patience and either can’t sleep or over sleep. I feel kind of compulsive - ugh I am not tempted to drink....I know it won’t make anything better. I’m trying to eat well and exercise. Does this get better and does anyone have tips / advice for me?

Help....my pink cloud has evaporated!!!

FreeFall

Wow-I could have written almost the exact same post. I'm at just about 4 months and have been feeling the same way. Unmotivated, lethargic, cranky. I feel like someone stole my personality. I can't regulate the sleep thing either. Also not feeling tempted to drink, I just want to snap out of this funk. Also trying to exercise but was much more motivated a couple of weeks ago.

Sorry I can't contribute anything constructive, except to say you're not alone and I do think it will get better...

Dee74

I think everyone, addict or not, has down periods along with the up ones...but see if this link rings any bells, guys:

PAWS « Digital Dharma

D

Pondlady

Thanks Dee. I read the article and relate to some points. One thing in particular, was making time for you to be alone each day. I CRAVE time alone and haven't had much of it lately. I'm going to return to basics - keep things simple - walk, nap, eat well and try to control what goes on my calendar. It is not like me to be so negative and moody.

I am a high strung personality and drinking wine took the edge off for me and helped me relax. Gotta think of new ways to relax.

Dee74

Balance is really important for sure - and learning to say no, and feeling ok with that, is part of that.

I'm a lot more attuned to what I need these days...I know when I need me time, and I make time.

There are always other things that can wait...I won't doing them anyway if I go berserk....

D

sugarbear1

You are still healing, give time time. Things will change!

Pondlady

I am sensitive to criticism. When my daughters tell me I'm cranky, I fret. I've slept on this issue and am going to focus on what I HAVE accomplished, as opposed to my failings. I've cared for my mother after her heart surgery, taken care of my MIL with her hip replacement and "gone to the mat" for my 28 year old daughter with her spinal problem. Two weeks ago we learned she has a fracture in her spinal fusion and will require another surgery Dec. 4. Also, my daughter from NJ ( hurricane Sandy) has been here TWO WEEKS with her THREE cats ......joining my SEVEN dogs!!!Felling crabby may well be a perfectly normal response to not having enough balance and me time. I don't think my daughters are used to me being "unavailable" and setting boundaries.

I am not going to drink. I do remember how it took the edge off of stressful times. I am not going to drink!

IndaMiricale

Life on lifes terms , is sometimes a bit tricky without that old buddy booze


Bounderies huge !!!!

And for me , a meeting can deflate any stress I have running in my head. I need adult supervision up there I cant run it on my own..

escapist

You have a lot going on right now. 3 cats 7 dogs!!!! Loved ones in crisis! Be nice to yourself. Even the Pope would get cranky with all that going on. I am almost at 4 weeks sober now. You are doing great! Five months seems like an enternity from where i sit.

MycoolFitz

there is pain every day in my life but I need to focus on the joy. There are homeless out there that need help I just can not do it today, I need help I turn to SR. I am hurting so bad I can not stay still. My idea is never get shot or try to dink the pain away. OK screw it I'll probabably clear the truck off and do some food delivery. It is not when it is easy it is when it is needed

jakec

I'm only 3 days sober but I have some advice that has worked for me in the past..

Keep yourself busy! If you find a negative thought creeping up on you, do something you enjoy, force yourself to do something! If you sit there and think about that negative thought, you're just feeding it and it will get worse.
Try practicing deep breathing, meditation or yoga, those can be a big help with PAWS.

Also, you can try taking supplements like 5-HTP, to regulate your serotonin(your happy chemical )

hope that helped!

Pondlady

Thanks. I remember when I was at a month, five months seemed far away. One day at a time, strung together makes 5 months, then 12......

We can do this

Auvers

Wow, I agree with Escapist your life is pretty full of stressful, serious things which have gotten your attention and could account for crankiness. Maybe a little time in mindfulness would help put it in perspective. Congrats on your sobriety.

Pondlady

Daughter departed for NJ (with her three kitties) and I shed a few tears - and felt some guilt Hubby gave me big hug and we ran an errand together. Been working in the garden, pulling up big elephant ear bulbs to winter over for next summer......I love gardening. Think I'll rest a bit and go back to the garden....feeling better...and am sure tomorrow will be much better.

sugarbear1

Get yourself a manicure or a nice bubble bath or maybe a movie you'd like to pop in the player....Do something nice for you!

xa-speakers.org has speakers from many 12 step groups, but listening to a story of hope always helps me.

Keep staying stopped, it DOES get much better!

Big hugs,

hypochondriac

You sound like a saint to me Kim, don't be so hard on yourself. Make sure you set aside some time to treat yourself and forgive yourself for feeling negative sometimes. We can't all be happy and grateful all the time Sounds like you're doing really well x

Caledonia1

Wow! Dee, found this fascinating. Thanks!

pondlady I can totally relate to how you are feeling, I too experienced similar emotions. Thankfully they gradually get better and hope they do for you also.

FreeFall

Thanks for the link Dee! Going to make some meal changes to see if that helps. I know the exercise is helping. Good luck to all that are dealing with this stage!

Pondlady

Ha- ha - had to chuckle, as those who think of me as cranky surely don't think of me as a saint! LOL. I like your remark about how we can't be happy and grateful all the time......good point.

Well - if I'm a saint - I'm a sober saint - and proud of it!

lilgolden73

I think either paws or the devil has taken over me this weekend, I am not sure which at this point! I hope it's getting better for ya PL!