I hate you Friday.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: CA
Posts: 3,360
WWG: I used to think if I drank alone and nobody knew it, I was only hurting myself and what was the harm? When I read these words now, I see how much I was devaluing myself. If there are issues which need to be addressed, getting a buzz will only put it off. Someday, the issues will have to be accepted or worked on. If there is no way to change the situation, or now is not the time, try to accept it. Take care, don't negotiate with yourself over the drink.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Coastal Massachusetts
Posts: 1,637
There is nothing that I can do about my wife's working hours. I am just so sick of dealing with this alone, and being a parent alone. I am sorry to complain, it is just getting to me.
Clear Eyes Full Heart
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 1,272
WWG I find Fridays really hard too. We're just conditioned as a society to celebrate the end of the work week and look forward to TGIF. I've worked almost every weekend of my life and still feel that way. Old habits die hard. It doesn't help that your old co-workers are tempting you in addition to the usual.
Perhaps in the future you'll be able to join them without drinking for small get togethers once the urges die down more (it does happen!)
Meanwhile, sounds like you need to find some things to do while you're waiting for the family to get home. Do you like reading? Watching movies? Taking walks? Watching YouTube videos? Listening to music nice and loud as you're home by yourself? Cooking? Cleaning/organizing the house? Building a cool fort to surprise your daughter? Surfing the net for articles on alcoholism to show your wife it's not just a habit...
You can do this!!
Perhaps in the future you'll be able to join them without drinking for small get togethers once the urges die down more (it does happen!)
Meanwhile, sounds like you need to find some things to do while you're waiting for the family to get home. Do you like reading? Watching movies? Taking walks? Watching YouTube videos? Listening to music nice and loud as you're home by yourself? Cooking? Cleaning/organizing the house? Building a cool fort to surprise your daughter? Surfing the net for articles on alcoholism to show your wife it's not just a habit...
You can do this!!
062412forever
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Indianapolis, IN
Posts: 4
WWG: Agree, keep venting, but don't fool yourself into having even one. We can all be a victim of our own circumstances here, or finally take control over our own destiny. Easier said than done, but not having that first drink, or stopping by that bar is the start.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Coastal Massachusetts
Posts: 1,637
I am not going to meet my friends. I like Fantasy Football, Comics, Politics, and movies. I just feel like I am living my life alone, and struggling. Even though I tell my wife that I am struggling, there is not a lot of concern for me. That is why at times like this I just want to drink, and let it kill me.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,240
As the wife in recovery dealing with the
same situation as you but reversed, I
was alone. There was a communication
and understanding gap between me and
the family who had no problem with addiction.
I drank to numb the loniliness, unhappiness,
selfcenteredness, trust issues, jealousy,
infedelity and much more. I got sober 8
yrs into the marriage via family intervention
and did all I needed to do to stay sober no
matter what.
Sadly, my 25 yr marriage did end peacefully
and my 2 kids who are little adults now, completed
college, have married, employeed, family,
healthy and blessed. My x did remarry. Me, I
also remarried 4 yrs approaching living a happier,
healthier, honest life in recovery.
My 54 yrs of life have been a journey of changes,
learning, acceptance, and is not over. I dont know
what tomorrow will bring me because it hasnt
arrived yet, but all i can do is take care of today
and not drink. Pass on my own experiences, strengths
and hopes of what my life has been like before, during
and after alcohol with others still suffering with
addiction.
I learned that I can't keep the promises offered to
us in recovery if I dont pass on the knowledge Ive
learned from others before me.
My journey continues and so will yours.
same situation as you but reversed, I
was alone. There was a communication
and understanding gap between me and
the family who had no problem with addiction.
I drank to numb the loniliness, unhappiness,
selfcenteredness, trust issues, jealousy,
infedelity and much more. I got sober 8
yrs into the marriage via family intervention
and did all I needed to do to stay sober no
matter what.
Sadly, my 25 yr marriage did end peacefully
and my 2 kids who are little adults now, completed
college, have married, employeed, family,
healthy and blessed. My x did remarry. Me, I
also remarried 4 yrs approaching living a happier,
healthier, honest life in recovery.
My 54 yrs of life have been a journey of changes,
learning, acceptance, and is not over. I dont know
what tomorrow will bring me because it hasnt
arrived yet, but all i can do is take care of today
and not drink. Pass on my own experiences, strengths
and hopes of what my life has been like before, during
and after alcohol with others still suffering with
addiction.
I learned that I can't keep the promises offered to
us in recovery if I dont pass on the knowledge Ive
learned from others before me.
My journey continues and so will yours.
Nothing Left to do but Smile.
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Upstate NY
Posts: 808
Sounds like you need to better communicate your problems and issues to your wife. Perhaps she should look for other employment. Either way, drinking will not solve your problems. Get through today. Then worry about tomorrow. Friday was a tough day for almost all of us. It used to be tough for me. Now I look at Fridays differently. It is a day to get a good jog in after work. Saturday is open to everything because I wake up sober.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 137
WWG..I'm going to be very blunt here, and I apologize if it sounds harsh. To me it sounds like you are having a bit of a pity party. Go home and watch the news, take a look at what is happening on the east coast and see what kind of friday the residents of N.Y. and Jersey are having..thats real stress. I'm sorry but you seem to be making so many excuses..if you really want sobriety suck it up, life can be hard.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,240
When I got into recovery I learned that addiction
affects all those connected to the one that is sick.
Because I was the sick one with alcoholism my
behavior affected them more than they realized.
Going to rehab and early recovery I had to be
educated about alcoholism and how it affected
me, my system and family. AA would soon become
a recovery program I would incorperate in my
life and everyday affairs. And other recovery programs
were suggested to family members for the taking.
However, with them not having problems with
addiction, they each went about their daily lives
growing and living life as expected.
It was like I was living my life on a different planet
than them. My spouse and I even went to marriage
counciling for several sessions and dissolved quickly.
By that time, my kids were already out of the house
and nothing seemed to bring my husband and I as
close as a married couple should be or like I wished
it could be. With much prayers and continueing on
my recovery program, I was granted a wish/gift/
blessing and was returned to my hometown on a new
job and thus our marriage would soon end.
I cant say for sure that if all my family members had
educated themselves on addiction and its affects on
family we would have become a stronger family/marriage
unit and remained close or married. It just didnt happen
in my case, but there are marriages and families that
do stay together with help from various recovery program
so that they can grew into a healthy, happy one for yrs.
to come.
affects all those connected to the one that is sick.
Because I was the sick one with alcoholism my
behavior affected them more than they realized.
Going to rehab and early recovery I had to be
educated about alcoholism and how it affected
me, my system and family. AA would soon become
a recovery program I would incorperate in my
life and everyday affairs. And other recovery programs
were suggested to family members for the taking.
However, with them not having problems with
addiction, they each went about their daily lives
growing and living life as expected.
It was like I was living my life on a different planet
than them. My spouse and I even went to marriage
counciling for several sessions and dissolved quickly.
By that time, my kids were already out of the house
and nothing seemed to bring my husband and I as
close as a married couple should be or like I wished
it could be. With much prayers and continueing on
my recovery program, I was granted a wish/gift/
blessing and was returned to my hometown on a new
job and thus our marriage would soon end.
I cant say for sure that if all my family members had
educated themselves on addiction and its affects on
family we would have become a stronger family/marriage
unit and remained close or married. It just didnt happen
in my case, but there are marriages and families that
do stay together with help from various recovery program
so that they can grew into a healthy, happy one for yrs.
to come.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 5
Stop thinking about what you want and do what you know needs to be done for yourself. Occupy yourself with something. Open up to your wife, she has to listen, make it an argument, it is a matter of saving your marriage. If you keep drinking both your lifes will be hell. Tell her that you need her to help you. It is amazing how much crying helps 
You have made a choice of not drinking for a reason. There is no turning back just forward.
How is it that meeting with friends has to involve intoxication?
These people are your coworkers.
Your family are the best friends you'll ever have.
Make it easy on yourself by not rethinking your good decision ever again.
You have made a choice of not drinking for a reason. There is no turning back just forward.
How is it that meeting with friends has to involve intoxication?
These people are your coworkers.
Your family are the best friends you'll ever have.
Make it easy on yourself by not rethinking your good decision ever again.
Member
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Cheshire, N.W England
Posts: 6,803
Hi WWG, it's me haunting you again!!
Some good honest advice here.
There are lots of things you can do to keep you from drinking, those couple of hours after work what about joining a gym and doing a bit of exercise? You did say a good while ago that you used to run, what about taking that up again? You would feel and look better, you would have a healthy interest and the money you save from drinking you could take your wife on a little weekend break somewhere.
We can give you all the advice and support in the world, but we can't do this for you. we are here to hold your hand every step of the way and here for you 24/7 but you have to do the work.
You can do it if you really want to and you are so worth it, so what do you say?
Some good honest advice here.
There are lots of things you can do to keep you from drinking, those couple of hours after work what about joining a gym and doing a bit of exercise? You did say a good while ago that you used to run, what about taking that up again? You would feel and look better, you would have a healthy interest and the money you save from drinking you could take your wife on a little weekend break somewhere.
We can give you all the advice and support in the world, but we can't do this for you. we are here to hold your hand every step of the way and here for you 24/7 but you have to do the work.
You can do it if you really want to and you are so worth it, so what do you say?
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