Mits78

I worked my ass off to get this job. Not drinking, reading and reading about anxiety and depression, applying everywhere, panic during interviews. The first week on this job was an absolute nightmare with the lack of sleep, anxiety and derealisation. I can remember getting home one day with my shoulders so sore from the stress that I took some xanax and ibuprofen laid on the couch and cried myself to sleep. It was that f---ing bad! But I kept going and never missed a day. It will get better.

Two months later I had finally gotten caught up with my bills and was two weeks away from getting insurance. I thought I can now finally see a psychotherapist and get some help with this anxiety problem I've had my entire life. Well, last week I was still so stressed with my shoulders tense all day and my stomach hurt to the point where I had to force myself to eat(if I ate at all) I couldnt take it anymore. I punched out for lunch and never went back. It wasnt worth the pain and suffering all day.

Just when I thought I had the upper hand on this thing it all came crashing down again. I dont think anyone will understand just how hard I tried. This was the job that was gonna get my life back but it didnt happen. Drunk now for 5 nights, broke and rent due in 13 days. I dont know if anyone here can help me but I'm running out of reasons to live the rest of my life feeling like **** everyday. Drunk or sober.

Impurrfect

((Mits)) - I'm sorry about the job. I'm sure you DID try but drinking isn't going to help anything. BTDT, it really only prolongs the feelings.

I'm not sure of your back story, but are you seeing a therapist or counselor? It might help. In the meantime, we're here for you.

Hugs and prayers,

Amy

Dee74

I'm sorry you lost your job too mits - but going on a bender is only gonna make a bad situation that much worse.

I know the 'so what? I don't care' factor...I was the King of that attitude...but after I always wished I hadn't been so thorough in my slash n burn mission.

Reach out and find some help mits.
Stop today.

D

MythOfSisyphus

Sorry about your job. I hope you'll hang in there. I can't think of any problem I had that was ever improved by getting drunk. You can stop, and things can get better.

Elisabeth888

Drinking increases anxiety SO much for me. My nerves cannot handle another relapse. The memory of the anxiety after my last drink is still very strong.

Do not drink just for today. You cannot sort out your problems drunk.

least

I'm sorry you quit your job, maybe you could put all your effort into looking for a new one.

Hevyn

I'm sorry you're in so much pain, Mits. I hope talking about it here will help with your anxiety. We all care about you.

sweepee

all i can say is i understand it :/

FreeFall

Sorry Mitts, it's so hard to feel like you're getting ahead and then get beaten down again. There will be other jobs-it sounds like you're a hard worker that cares and has good priorities. It sounds like it would help to talk to a doctor about your anxiety. Are there any clinics near you that have free counseling? Do you exercise or do anything that helps to release the anxiety? Maybe looking for a job in a less stressful environment? Hang in there and try not to drink-it will definitely make you more anxious, and make your life more chaotic and unmanageable.