isabellla

Hi! My name is Bella. I have been through the recovery process before. This, however, is the first time I am doing it for me, the first time I have felt this way. I am an addict. I have been abusing pills for many years on and off. The past two years have been the heaviest. I was diagnosed as having bipolar disorder in 2005. Since then, I have been on and off several medications. I was taking Lamictal and Klonipin since 2006. I stopped Lamictal in June and Klonipin just last month. I am in good shape as far as the Bipolar Disorder is concerned as long as I stay clean and healthy. I believe those meds helped me physically through the times I was recovering from abusing pain meds. I also have a seizure disorder which has caused many injuries. I can easily get pain meds. prescribed. In the past, when I used my month's supply, I stole pills from friends and obtained them other ways. I was on a binge for about six weeks after falling down the stairs. I abuse the meds. I can not just take them as prescribed. When I drink, I usually drink until I'm drunk and doing stupid s@#t. I quit cold turkey exactly 4 days ago. I still feel horrible. I threw away a lot of pills. Although I do have a prescription for Klonipin, I am not getting it filled unless I feel manic that is unrelated to this with drawl and I can not control behaviorally. I have a bright future. i am a Mom. I have an awesome fiance'. He knows that I am going through with drawl right now, but he does not know to what extent I abused the pills. He has never been addicted to a substance. He is supportive and loving. I have a career if I want it as well. I have to stay clean. I have never felt this horrible. I'm happy that I went through this with drawl. I will never forget it. It has indeed been the worst and I am so happy that something made me see that I was headed down a very bad path. I still feel physically bad, but my head is clearer than it has been in a long time. I am here for support and to give support. I'll be happy to hear anything anyone has to say. Some of the forums here have helped me make my decision to quit for good and especially through the last 4 days. That's it for now. I'm looking forward to updating this profile a month from now. I am ashamed of myself, but, I'm not going to beat myself up. I am looking toward the future.

least

Welcome to the family. I suggest you take a look at our substance abuse forum for lots of support and experience with that kind of addiction.


Substance Abuse - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

Dee74

Welcome Bella

I recommend posting and reading here regularly - anytime you need support, drop in
no need to leave it a month between updates

D

quitforme79

welcome Bella, it's good to see you here

Kateg

Just keep coming back .....i find it so helpfull when I think im going to lose it!

pooky

sometimes I spend hours here just to relieve boredom or for the wonderful support..THis is a great site with people who are just like you.

Delilah1

Welcome Bella! I am on day 15 and I owe thanks to SR, I have found incredible support on here. Keep reading and posting.