Weasel1966

I put three pewter charms in my pocket every morning. Done this for over 7 years now. The reason I have them made me stop a moment and consider how far I have come.

A small pewter heart, an angel, and a pewter charm with the word "Healing" on it.

I bought them back in 2005. I remember the mood and feelings when i bought them more than anything. The memories are vivid and still close to the surface for me.

I was walking in town with all the shops. It was the day after and I had not been to bed yet. I was blank inside. I looked at people passing, tourists, and felt completely alone in the crowd.

I stopped in one of the stores and these silvery charms caught my eye. I sifted them and was drawn. I had tears in my eyes reading the word Healing on the one. I thought how much i needed healing at that moment. Saw the angel and held it. I asked for help right there in the store. I felt so lost that these little things made me feel some sort of hope.

My heart still sinks when I think about it. That drawn empty feeling I never ever want to have again.

I looked in the mirror before I left the house this morning. I look healthy today. I have a color that is not washed out. I am clean shaven.

Gave myself a little grin and shrugged my shoulders.

That's not me any more.

These charms connect me every day to 2005. They never leave my pocket until the end of the day. They have been lost and found through a drunk haze many times. I have held them when I was happy and sad. When I was indifferent to my own life and when I cried deeply for my actions.

But, Today....I just felt relief.

Sapling

Cool.

IndaMiricale

Good stuff Weasel..

Glad to see you joined in the grati's group..

Saliena

Thank you for a wonderful reminder of how you were.. it draws me back to be grateful about who I am today... I needed to hear that.

Weasel1966

Well I have to say I woke in an angry mood. The weekends bug me since I struggle a lot. But this moment thinking back softend my heart. Made me see that my weekend will not be a struggle. I reminded myself what a struggle is.... And it's not this.

Pick my sorry ass up and smile about it.

Fernaceman

That is nothing short of awesome and inspirational, Weasel. Keep up the good work, bro. You deserve it.

FreeFall

Cool story Ken. Sometimes it really is the little things that keep you on track and moving forward. I'm sorry for the sad days in the past, but that's where they belong so leave them there

Stay strong going into the weekend!

Weasel1966

Thanks FM.

Thanks FF. I will be here a lot this weekend. This will be my second in a row. Not something I have done in years. No matter though. I don't drink. Period.