Etta

Drank a bottle of wine. It wasn't enough. So, walked to the same store to buy more. Thought about driving somewhere to avoid humiliation, but decided risking a DUI was not worth it.

I've seen many posts where people talk about going to different stores so the people don't know about your problem. I'm at the point where I really don't care anymore. They know I have a problem. I'm sure they talk about me. It does not stop me.

choublak

We all have a moment where we have to stop the process of bemoaning what the world thinks of us, and start asserting that which we think of ourselves. There is no other way.

Dee74

I was at that point too Etta - I simply didn't care what people thought anymore.

But I did care, very much, about what was happening to me - it was like a runaway train - I was terrified.

What can you do to stop the train, Etta - any ideas?

D

tomsteve

etta, yer not stupid. yer sick.
now the question to ask yourself is if you want to stop drinking and are you willing to do whatever you ave to do to stop.

i crossed that line where i stopped caring long before i got into recovery. please dont wait as long as i did. a sober life rocks!!!

Etta

Thanks. I'm terrified too, Dee. I have not figured out what to do about it. I know I need to be the one to figure this out. Thanks for listening, it helps.

Dee74

some of these links might give you a start or at least an idea of what kinds of support are out there Etta?

here's some links to some of the main players:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...formation.html

I recommend you visit the Secular Connections forum if you think you may benefit from a non 12 step approach.

I think it's much easier to get ahead, and stay that way, with the right support , whatever that is for you

D

sweepee

i'm one who will travel all over town & now i've even started going at night drive thru when the regulars aren't there...it sucks

renaldo

I'm glad you didn't drive. I assume you went to a liquor store as opposed to a grocery store. If so, they're used to seeing alkies day in and day out. I live in a household with a guy who used to work at the liquor store down the street. He would badmouth people that came in and how much they drank, their relationships, etc. Then he'd come home and get wasted himself. So who cares what these people think, unless you're worried they won't serve you a second time in the same day.

What matters is if you want to stop for yourself, even if people aren't hip to the problems it's causing you.

Etta

Please don't do that anymore sweepee. It's so dangerous. I know we're supposed to not encourage drinking on this site but I'd rather see you stock up for the night than drive around when you are intoxicated. It's so dangerous to do that and you can get in major legal trouble that will stay with you for years.

Take care sweepee.

sweepee

thanks etta...i live a strange schedule. i drink to a state of comfortably numb starting in the afternoon - then may sleep a bit & i have a card that will get me in where i need to work. so then i get out about midnight hit the drive thru & then work. i am aware about drinking & driving

choublak

The problem with that is, people stock up for the night, get intoxicated and then in their intoxicated state of mind (or a blackout) decide to drive to any given place.

Taking5

Bad advice. You ever hear of a "morning after DUI"? I know a couple of people who drank like this and 8 hours later, seemingly sobered up and on the way to work got pulled over and still smelled like alcohol and still failed the BAC test.

escapist

Etta,I was you up until 10 days ago. I let everything go.I would walk into the store and they would get my booze for me before I even asked. I did'nt care. I would'nt brush my hair just a ratty ponytail. I stopped wearing make up about 3 years ago. Could'nt navigate the mascara brush. I went to work looking like that. I could go on but it is too embarrassing. The past 10 days have been difficult but I have made it. I would drink to the point of throwing up wait until my stomach settled and start drinking again. If I can do it anyone can.

Anna

Etta, you can do this, but you need to make the decision to take the first step. Get rid of alcohol in your house and don't buy anymore, no matter what. Get through each hour until you're through Day 1. Many of us, me included, have felt just as you do now. There is hope.

Etta

Thank you all and sorry I gave bad advice. I just think driving drunk is worse than just drinking because you then expose others to harm, instead of just yourself. I have never heard of "morning after DUI" before.