16 days but unsure about AA
Member
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 6,947
Originally Posted by Mescal 
My therapist says some people actually grieve about stopping drinking.
If you are gonna do AA, then starting doing AA and begin or continue on in the steps... That's AA, in the book, the steps... sponsors help you with that.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Cleveland, OH
Posts: 1,191
Originally Posted by YoungAndClean
I feel the same way! Right now I'm 19 days sober and just attending 1 meeting 5 days or so a week is keeping me sober. I've been thinking about working the 12 steps myself and avoiding getting a sponsor because I had one before and it was pointless. If I decide I'm going to use, I'm not going to phone my sponsor beforehand, so whats the point? Calling someone everyday to 'check in' is ridiculous and I guess since my last relapse I've sort of realized that I could follow every single recomendation of AA and the Old Timers and still end up relapsing, so why put in that extra effort when in the end, the only thing thats gonna keep me sober is God and me. I can't wait to have 6+ months or a year sober, being a newcomer in AA kind of sucks.
Self recovered Self discovered
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Toronto Canada
Posts: 5,148
Mescal, maybe it is not necessary for you to dwell on past events, I am sure you already feel badly enough about them already. Do you think that you feel badly enough that you won't drink anymore?
If that is the case, then maybe you are like me. You quit, that is the end of that. I was obsessed with drinking while I was drinking, and I refuse to be obsessed with drinking now that I am not drinking.
If that is the case, then maybe you are like me. You quit, that is the end of that. I was obsessed with drinking while I was drinking, and I refuse to be obsessed with drinking now that I am not drinking.
A Day at a Time
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Grand Rapids MI
Posts: 6,435
I like to keep it simple. Go to a meeting everyday and do not drink inbetween. All of this other stuff will sort itself out. Worry about staying sober today which is all any of us have. If you stay sober today then it is a good day
...not falling down them
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 1,200
http://www.aa.org/pdf/products/p-15_Q&AonSpon.pdf
Here is a link to the AA pamphlet "Questions and Answers on Sponsorship".
Mine was recommended to me and me to her, in my 7th week of sobriety. People have different approaches. Go with what works for you.
Here is a link to the AA pamphlet "Questions and Answers on Sponsorship".
Mine was recommended to me and me to her, in my 7th week of sobriety. People have different approaches. Go with what works for you.
Recoveringed
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Thump
Posts: 409
Originally Posted by bbthumper
Congrats On your 16 days!
Different groups do things different ways. No need to stay in a group if you don't like it.
That being said I would not recommend to any AA that they wait a month to get a sponsor or start to work the steps. How soon do you want to get well? The steps are what does it.
Listening in the meetings is great. I hope you continue to do that. But at some point if we want results we have to put what we learn into action.
We can go to AA or we can do AA. Only by doing can we get the results which AA promises. And it can happen quickly. It does not have to be a long process.
I wish you the best! Stick with it!
Different groups do things different ways. No need to stay in a group if you don't like it.
That being said I would not recommend to any AA that they wait a month to get a sponsor or start to work the steps. How soon do you want to get well? The steps are what does it.
Listening in the meetings is great. I hope you continue to do that. But at some point if we want results we have to put what we learn into action.
We can go to AA or we can do AA. Only by doing can we get the results which AA promises. And it can happen quickly. It does not have to be a long process.
I wish you the best! Stick with it!
There seems to be a common misconception that once we get into the rooms, we have all the time in the world in which to work the steps and get well. What I've found in real life, however, is that there is a window of grace if you're sober and in the rooms, and if alcoholism is left insufficiently treated there is no way of knowing how much or how little time there is before the insanity will return that inspires that next drunk. When we get well, that insanity as manifested in relapse just does not exist for us. It does take work, but if done just as it's laid out it doesn't have to take long.
I love meetings, which are a true blessing of our fellowship. However, for an alcoholic like me, the fellowship alone really isn't enough to get the kind of recovery I want. The 12 steps are the AA program, that is the one suggested program of recovery that AA offers to stay sober and get well. We are so blessed because it really works!
I found out I had cancer, I wouldn't keep showing up at the hospital but put off actual treatment for a month, right? So when I know alcoholism is a matter of life or death, why would I wait to get free?
What you do is up to you, and there really is little point in trying to convince you to do the work if you're not willing, but I might consider that a group that has that much of an emphasis on our common solution might also be a place that actually understands the program and the reality of the consequences of not getting into the work with enough urgency. When I came into AA, I still thought I knew best. Today I think, thank goodness I was wrong about so much. Because I didn't know the difference, I followed some suggestions that were ultimately not in my best interest. As there are many posts in this thread from those who are not involved with AA, I might take opinions that aren't based in experience, current practice or knowledge or the program with a grain of salt.
Whatever you choose, welcome! I'm glad you've found the seat you earned out there, the one with your name on it that you get to keep for as long as you like, whenever you want, anywhere in any of the rooms around the world, for life.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Between Meetings
Posts: 8,997
I read that book (The first 164 pages)...Three times before I had my sponsor which I selected after my 3rd meeting. I was living in steps 10, 11 and 12 when I got my 90 day chip. I watched a lot of people take their time. They're not around anymore. Some have crawled back in....Some haven't. It's a program of action. Simple.
Recovering
Join Date: May 2012
Location: UK
Posts: 1,361
Originally Posted by Mescal
I'm just frustrated with the whole thing.
I think whatever way we choose it's likely we'll have to work through frustrations. We each probably have different frustrations (for me it was feeling low because at 2 months sober I still felt pretty rubbish). AA has got a good record for those who really commit to it and work through the 12 steps. I say that as someone who has taken a different path. Why not commit yourself to it for a significant period and then look back and see whether it has been able to take you forward. Sometimes it's easier to judge things by looking back after some time.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Cleveland, OH
Posts: 1,191
Originally Posted by KnowHope
I really agree, a post worth paying attention to.
There seems to be a common misconception that once we get into the rooms, we have all the time in the world in which to work the steps and get well. What I've found in real life, however, is that there is a window of grace if you're sober and in the rooms, and if alcoholism is left insufficiently treated there is no way of knowing how much or how little time there is before the insanity will return that inspires that next drunk. When we get well, that insanity as manifested in relapse just does not exist for us. It does take work, but if done just as it's laid out it doesn't have to take long.
I love meetings, which are a true blessing of our fellowship. However, for an alcoholic like me, the fellowship alone really isn't enough to get the kind of recovery I want. The 12 steps are the AA program, that is the one suggested program of recovery that AA offers to stay sober and get well. We are so blessed because it really works!
I found out I had cancer, I wouldn't keep showing up at the hospital but put off actual treatment for a month, right? So when I know alcoholism is a matter of life or death, why would I wait to get free?
What you do is up to you, and there really is little point in trying to convince you to do the work if you're not willing, but I might consider that a group that has that much of an emphasis on our common solution might also be a place that actually understands the program and the reality of the consequences of not getting into the work with enough urgency. When I came into AA, I still thought I knew best. Today I think, thank goodness I was wrong about so much. Because I didn't know the difference, I followed some suggestions that were ultimately not in my best interest. As there are many posts in this thread from those who are not involved with AA, I might take opinions that aren't based in experience, current practice or knowledge or the program with a grain of salt.
Whatever you choose, welcome! I'm glad you've found the seat you earned out there, the one with your name on it that you get to keep for as long as you like, whenever you want, anywhere in any of the rooms around the world, for life.
There seems to be a common misconception that once we get into the rooms, we have all the time in the world in which to work the steps and get well. What I've found in real life, however, is that there is a window of grace if you're sober and in the rooms, and if alcoholism is left insufficiently treated there is no way of knowing how much or how little time there is before the insanity will return that inspires that next drunk. When we get well, that insanity as manifested in relapse just does not exist for us. It does take work, but if done just as it's laid out it doesn't have to take long.
I love meetings, which are a true blessing of our fellowship. However, for an alcoholic like me, the fellowship alone really isn't enough to get the kind of recovery I want. The 12 steps are the AA program, that is the one suggested program of recovery that AA offers to stay sober and get well. We are so blessed because it really works!
I found out I had cancer, I wouldn't keep showing up at the hospital but put off actual treatment for a month, right? So when I know alcoholism is a matter of life or death, why would I wait to get free?
What you do is up to you, and there really is little point in trying to convince you to do the work if you're not willing, but I might consider that a group that has that much of an emphasis on our common solution might also be a place that actually understands the program and the reality of the consequences of not getting into the work with enough urgency. When I came into AA, I still thought I knew best. Today I think, thank goodness I was wrong about so much. Because I didn't know the difference, I followed some suggestions that were ultimately not in my best interest. As there are many posts in this thread from those who are not involved with AA, I might take opinions that aren't based in experience, current practice or knowledge or the program with a grain of salt.
Whatever you choose, welcome! I'm glad you've found the seat you earned out there, the one with your name on it that you get to keep for as long as you like, whenever you want, anywhere in any of the rooms around the world, for life.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 10
Congratulations on your days into sobriety! AA does not work for me. I don't agree with everything AA teaches. I believe alcohol is a poison that eventually will get anyone if they ingest it long enough. I have decided to quit drinking because it's not good to drink poison for anyone. I think you are at the right place here for starters. I really like the advice here and encouragement. I have had my struggles but never giving up. You need support for sure so keep on asking and giving advice to others who don't want to drink poison anymore either. I just got caught in the poison trap like the rest of you. Alcohol is poison put in a nice looking bottle and many get rich off selling it. You are wise to see that it is a lie. Alcohol does nobody any good. Now for me, I need to learn to get out of the trap of lies when I have a craving that it does any good. The cravings are what get me. Any advice on how to deal with them are welcome. Also, does anyone know when they finally go away for good???
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