Terry77

hi i feel soo alone. trying to quit this damn beast, I went to my first two AA meetings this weekend. fri night and sat afternoon how do i approach people? i have such social anxiety that the alcohol helped me with before, (not really) im so lost...so so so lost. what do i do

chicory

HI Terry,

I don't know much about recovering from alcohol, but I understand social anxiety. I would just urge you to keep going to meetings, and in time you will have a foundation built with others there. sometimes you have to do something that is scary for you , in order to grow. give it time, get to know someone there, and give them a call.just to ask a question or something easy to chat about.

I went to al-anon, and even after a while, I find myself rushing to get out the door, before having to strike up a conversation. Maybe if you mention your anxiety during the meetings , someone might relate, and reach out to you.

I wish you the best. Hang in there, you are doing the right thing for your life! it will get easier, and there are great people here too, in recovery, to get to know and to interact with.

you can always begin by sharing something about yourself. that gives others the chance to get to know you.

hugs
chicory

Tuffgirl

Welcome terry77. Congrats on your attempt to quit. I hope you find success at that. However, you will find the support you need in the Alcoholics and Newcomers to Recovery forum, although there are a few "double winners" on this side who may have some suggestions for you. Most of us here are loved ones of addicts and alcoholics.

Stay strong in your resolve, and take good care.
~T

Dee74

Hi Terry

I moved your thread here (Thanks TG!).

I'm not in AA myself but I know you'll get a lot of response from people here

good to see you again - welcome back

D

MIRecovery

Did you let the group know that you need help? Did you have a 1st step meeting?

Impurrfect

((Terry)) - I don't have social anxiety, but I was terrified my first few meetings. I found that in getting there a little early and staying a little late, people came up to ME and made small talk, made me much more comfortable. I'm normally a "chatty cathy" but it took me time to be comfortable in speaking in the meetings. I still got a lot by listening, though, until I WAS ready to speak up.

Hugs and prayers,

Amy

Sapling

Welcome Terry...Glad to have you with us.....What worked for me was going into a meeting and saying my name....And that I needed help....I was lost....These people helped me...And they will help you.

Anna

Hi Terry,

I'm not in AA, but I do have social anxiety and it's always difficult in new situations. I hope you find a way to make it work.

And, do keep posting.

tomsteve

terry, awesome to meet ya! awesome to see ya here! awesome to see you see the problems. one thing i think is amazing to read is you see alcohol really didnt help with being sociable. i can relate.i used to use alcohol to loosen up and talk to people. the problem being is i still didnt know how to communicate and once i had a drink, the next drink was more important than communicating.

good to see ya hit a few meetings. to approach people all ya gotta do is get some courage and say something like, "im terry, im new. i want to stop drinking. i could really use some phone numbersof others in recovery." start with something like that and during the meeting, dont be afraid to speak early and let your heart open up on how you re feeling. then sit back and listen. you just may find your sponsor then.


and we are always here for ya,too.

Maylie

Welcome Terry, when I went to my first meeting (NA instead of AA) I was really nervous and didn't know how I would make conversation with anyway. I got there about 10 minutes early and a kind woman came up to me and told me how happy she was that I had decided to come. She sat next to me which helped because I felt like someone understood how I felt as a newbie. At the end of the meeting she asked me if I wanted to meet some old timers that she knew well. She brought me over to a group of old timers and she helped introduce me to them and all the women she introduced me to gave me their numbers. I am forever greatful to that woman because she showed me that I had nothing to be afraid of and even the old timers in the group were once in my position.

Sometimes all it takes is smiling at someone to start up a convorsation. I hope you run into someone as helpful as that woman was for me.

Keep moving forward,

Maylie

Carson67

Hey I know exactly how you feel Terry. I still am anti social because of me addictions, and I at one time had 3 yrs, but could not stand the social pressure, I don,t know how to make it easier for you , but I am here if you need to vent

Sparkelina

Terry I am with you. I plan to go to my first meeting tomorrow and I feel exactly as u describe. Just wanted to let u know that u r nof alone.
please stick with it and dont give up. we can do this. we wudnt be here if we didnt think we cud.
- Sparky