Ally54

I don't believe in whining. It is annoying and fruitless. I will try to describe my situation without doing that.

I"ve actually worked my ass off but am rather isolated when it comes to my own issues. My whining is pretty much limited to politics. I see it from a different perspective because my profession involves politics and seeing the "Fruits" of it.

I am an old fart at 58, I guess. But I have been quite successful and well, this afternoon I walked in the sun, too tipsy to use sunscreen and I have arthritis and lupus. I am hurting like hell now and it is my own fault.

Oh yes, I walked a mile to an AA meeting that turned out to be an arts fair.

So I went home, took a shower, and crawled into bed. I hurt all over - is that whining or is it only whining if I don't take responsibility for my idiotic actions?

Did I mention that I had 10 years sober before this? My daughter and grandson came to visit. She brought a gallon of Kahlua. Again,not her fault but I thought just a little won't hurt.

I am keeping my head above water but I had a blowup with my sister over events that occurred 30 year ago. She is in the 1% but I am the more educated, for what it has done for me, which is a lot, I have to admit... but it is not the pinnacle of life. Neither is.

One glass of Kahua with my 37 year old daughter.
I thought one glass of wine, when I had my manicure.
And then a bottle or two a day. And I still function. Except for walking.

I know enough to know that there is no in between. Either cut bait or drown.
I wonder sometimes if at my age, I'd be better off not here. Not whining, just wondering. I would miss some of the interesting parts of my life, but would I miss anything? Do any of us know? Not really.

Natom

You're not whining you're just pondering. It's a shame you relapsed but hey it was your choice. And it's your choice know to either decide to go back to meetings or stay drinking.

suki44883

I don't think you miss anything when you're dead, but you do leave people who miss you. Fifty-eight isn't old. Hell, I'm 56 and I still feel like a 25 year old sometimes. Life is what you make it.

Dee74

Welcome to SR Ally

It's never to late to make a fresh start, I reckon
You'll find a lot of support and a lot of friends here - a few good ideas too

good to have you with us

D

least

58 is not old! I'm 61 and am still young at heart, if not in body.

Anna

Welcome, and I agree you're definitely not old and you can make changes in your life at any time. It's never too late.

I hope you feel better.

Erinleigh03

I don't think you're whining. I think your replaying the decisions you've made to get you into the situations you've been in. I think sometimes when we are under the influence of alcohol we do some amazingly stupid stuff...and then come to and think, how in the heck did I not die...or kill someone else. It's not whining, I would call it a revelation. It's just our choice to listen to it or not.

DisplacedGRITS

hey Ally! just wanted to say it's great to have you here. someone with 10 years of sobriety sure has a lot to share with this site on how it's done. you're an inspiration to people like me who only have a few months. sure, you had a relapse but whatever. you're back. whining? whatever. we all have times when we throw up our hand, look at the universe and say "seriously, WTF?" as long as you don't let it be the driving force in your life i say it's fine to feel like that from time to time. we're only human. glad to have you here and welcome to SR.

NewHouse2012

Hi there Ally. Don't give up. I hope you can make it to a meeting.
Check this out : SPBCIAA | South Palm Beach County AA Home
Best regards

BunnyLoves

You're still here trying, so instead of calling it whining, I'd call it Winning! Like Charlie Sheen likes to say!

CaiHong

Hi Ally,
I am 58 and I don't feel old, in fact I am in better shape now than 20 years ago. It's amazing 10 years sober and all it took was a sip of Kahlua. I am into my second year sober and I have a lot of respect for people who after years of sobriety come on here or at meetings and tell me that they have picked up, I need to be reminded that it can happen if one doesn't follow a program and invest time in ones sobriety.

What did you think lead to that sip of Kahlua?

All the best and welcome, hope to hear more from you.

CaiHong