how to know
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: NY
Posts: 227
how to know
How do i know if i have a problem with alcohol that i cannot control????
maybe this post says it all, but i dont know. i have seen it as a tool that i can use to help me, but it has definitely hurt me.
it helps me by filling in times of boredom and allowing me to sleep through the night.
but it has hurt me by not allowing me to remember things i have done, but they are sometimes( i originally wrote usually here and changed it) things i am glad i did and may not have done sober.
so, i know i have problems unrelated to alcohol, and i am in counseling to work on those things.
but i am going through so much right now, separation from my wife, realizing how my actions led to that, some amount of depression, how do i know if drinking will make my situation harder to deal with or easier.
i have seen both sides of it recently. having two beers in 3 hours before sleeping leads to a restless night of almost no sleep, while half a box of wine leads to a miserable next day. maybe the next day is the same but the box of wine night i dont remember. so, i feel like drinking is a symptom more than a cause. and it does cause problems but maybe isnt the problem. but maybe i so dont want to stop drinking that i can see it this way.
I just don't feel like i know anything right now.
I just noticed the interesting bunch of smilies available while I am typing. They make me smile.
Thanks for reading.
maybe this post says it all, but i dont know. i have seen it as a tool that i can use to help me, but it has definitely hurt me.
it helps me by filling in times of boredom and allowing me to sleep through the night.
but it has hurt me by not allowing me to remember things i have done, but they are sometimes( i originally wrote usually here and changed it) things i am glad i did and may not have done sober.
so, i know i have problems unrelated to alcohol, and i am in counseling to work on those things.
but i am going through so much right now, separation from my wife, realizing how my actions led to that, some amount of depression, how do i know if drinking will make my situation harder to deal with or easier.
i have seen both sides of it recently. having two beers in 3 hours before sleeping leads to a restless night of almost no sleep, while half a box of wine leads to a miserable next day. maybe the next day is the same but the box of wine night i dont remember. so, i feel like drinking is a symptom more than a cause. and it does cause problems but maybe isnt the problem. but maybe i so dont want to stop drinking that i can see it this way.
I just don't feel like i know anything right now.
I just noticed the interesting bunch of smilies available while I am typing. They make me smile.
Thanks for reading.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Philadelphia, PA
Posts: 69
Hello Misterritter, welcome. I had doubts on the existence of my problem, but as several posts around here will show, if you think you may have a problem drinking, you likely do. I decided to go 30 days without, just to see for myself whether it would bother me. I got to day 3 before it bothered me. Made me realize I have a problem. I don't know if you do, but thought I'd offer my experience to help you decide.
All the best.
All the best.
Powerless over Alcohol
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Trudging the Road to Happy Destiny!
Posts: 4,018
Welcome aboard 
Well just asking such a question is such a great start.. You have found a great place to start looking into some of those answers..
I am a proud member of AA which has saved me from that life of drinking to live..
Well just asking such a question is such a great start.. You have found a great place to start looking into some of those answers..
I am a proud member of AA which has saved me from that life of drinking to live..
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Between Meetings
Posts: 8,997
Welcome to SR misterritter....They ask these two yes or no questions in the Big Book of AA....And I was told if I could look in the mirror and honestly answer either one yes....Most likely I was an alcoholic....Only I can make that decision....So I did it...I answered them both yes....I am an alcoholic.....Funny thing is.....I had known that for years.
If, when you honestly want to, you find you cannot quit entirely, or if when drinking, you have little control over the amount you take, you are probably alcoholic.
Here is the book...Take a look at the Doctor's Opinion and the first 43 pages to start....It will give you a pretty good idea where you stand...The good news...There is a solution.
The text of Alcoholics Anonymous
If, when you honestly want to, you find you cannot quit entirely, or if when drinking, you have little control over the amount you take, you are probably alcoholic.
Here is the book...Take a look at the Doctor's Opinion and the first 43 pages to start....It will give you a pretty good idea where you stand...The good news...There is a solution.
The text of Alcoholics Anonymous
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: NY Metro
Posts: 20
Originally Posted by misterritter 
How do i know if i have a problem with alcohol that i cannot control????
maybe this post says it all, but i dont know. i have seen it as a tool that i can use to help me, but it has definitely hurt me.
it helps me by filling in times of boredom and allowing me to sleep through the night.
but it has hurt me by not allowing me to remember things i have done, but they are sometimes( i originally wrote usually here and changed it) things i am glad i did and may not have done sober.
so, i know i have problems unrelated to alcohol, and i am in counseling to work on those things.
but i am going through so much right now, separation from my wife, realizing how my actions led to that, some amount of depression, how do i know if drinking will make my situation harder to deal with or easier.
i have seen both sides of it recently. having two beers in 3 hours before sleeping leads to a restless night of almost no sleep, while half a box of wine leads to a miserable next day. maybe the next day is the same but the box of wine night i dont remember. so, i feel like drinking is a symptom more than a cause. and it does cause problems but maybe isnt the problem. but maybe i so dont want to stop drinking that i can see it this way.
I just don't feel like i know anything right now.
I just noticed the interesting bunch of smilies available while I am typing. They make me smile.
Thanks for reading.
maybe this post says it all, but i dont know. i have seen it as a tool that i can use to help me, but it has definitely hurt me.
it helps me by filling in times of boredom and allowing me to sleep through the night.
but it has hurt me by not allowing me to remember things i have done, but they are sometimes( i originally wrote usually here and changed it) things i am glad i did and may not have done sober.
so, i know i have problems unrelated to alcohol, and i am in counseling to work on those things.
but i am going through so much right now, separation from my wife, realizing how my actions led to that, some amount of depression, how do i know if drinking will make my situation harder to deal with or easier.
i have seen both sides of it recently. having two beers in 3 hours before sleeping leads to a restless night of almost no sleep, while half a box of wine leads to a miserable next day. maybe the next day is the same but the box of wine night i dont remember. so, i feel like drinking is a symptom more than a cause. and it does cause problems but maybe isnt the problem. but maybe i so dont want to stop drinking that i can see it this way.
I just don't feel like i know anything right now.
I just noticed the interesting bunch of smilies available while I am typing. They make me smile.
Thanks for reading.
Euphoric Recaller
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: PHX Suburbs
Posts: 371
Originally Posted by misterritter
how do i know if drinking will make my situation harder to deal with or easier.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,372
Hi Misterritter
I knew...because even tho I knew I should stop, I kept drinking...
I knew... because even tho drinking was causing me more and more problems, I kept going back to drinking.
I knew.... because the longest I ever spent not drinking was 2 months...normally it was closer to two days.
I came here and I knew.... because I kept reading my story here over and over in other peoples posts.
I don't know if you have a problem or not - only you can know that
Most of us try to cut back, though, and we don't make such a good job of it.
I recommend something slightly different - cut to the chase...no drinking booze for 90 days...nothing, nada, zip, no reason can be good enough...
that should be long enough for most people's problems to reveal themselves
if you have no problem, you'll be fine...and if not, you'll find out long before the 90 days
There's a lot of support here and a lot of collective wisdom misterritter - it's a good place to be
Welcome aboard
D
I knew...because even tho I knew I should stop, I kept drinking...
I knew... because even tho drinking was causing me more and more problems, I kept going back to drinking.
I knew.... because the longest I ever spent not drinking was 2 months...normally it was closer to two days.
I came here and I knew.... because I kept reading my story here over and over in other peoples posts.
I don't know if you have a problem or not - only you can know that
Most of us try to cut back, though, and we don't make such a good job of it.
I recommend something slightly different - cut to the chase...no drinking booze for 90 days...nothing, nada, zip, no reason can be good enough...
that should be long enough for most people's problems to reveal themselves
if you have no problem, you'll be fine...and if not, you'll find out long before the 90 days
There's a lot of support here and a lot of collective wisdom misterritter - it's a good place to be
Welcome aboard
D
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: UK
Posts: 5,678
I have pondered that question my whole life nearly... if not since I was 17 then at least since my early 20's because by then I had been drinking every day for a few years. The way I knew was just by waiting and seeing the inevitable pile of negative consequences get bigger and bigger. At any point in my 20's, if I really allowed myself to stop and think about it I would have knew I had a problem because I never had a day off, not until I tried quitting that is...
I don't think it matters the reasons why we drink or whether it is the symptom or the cause. It will assert itself eventually and seem like the number one cause of all your problems. I finally decided (too late for me) that it doesn't matter if I had a serious problem with alcohol or not (the big 'alcoholic' question). Everyone is entitled to enjoy the benefits of sobriety. Why not quit for a few months and see how you feel x
I don't think it matters the reasons why we drink or whether it is the symptom or the cause. It will assert itself eventually and seem like the number one cause of all your problems. I finally decided (too late for me) that it doesn't matter if I had a serious problem with alcohol or not (the big 'alcoholic' question). Everyone is entitled to enjoy the benefits of sobriety. Why not quit for a few months and see how you feel x
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: UK
Posts: 1,145
This question caused me a lot of anguish a while back. Before I got sober, I didn't think there was any need to TOTALLY get rid of alcohol because what if I wasn't an alcoholic? Surely that would be silly to eradicate alcohol from my life when I only needed to learn how to moderate?
Once I stopped entertaining thoughts of why, how, when, etc, and just focussed on the main issue: that alcohol was causing me a lot of anxiety and upset, then I realised that I was better off without it and cut it out completely. It was the best decision I ever made and I will not be going back to it.
Try not to worry about what you are. The 'alcoholic' label really isn't that scary once you're already sober, any way. You think 'so what?' and get on with your sober life. It is only scary when it is involved with questioning whether you should quit drinking or not, it seems, and if quitting drinking is a scary prospect then it's probably best you quit, anyway, at least for a while.
Welcome to SR this is a wonderful place full of lots of supportive people.
Once I stopped entertaining thoughts of why, how, when, etc, and just focussed on the main issue: that alcohol was causing me a lot of anxiety and upset, then I realised that I was better off without it and cut it out completely. It was the best decision I ever made and I will not be going back to it.
Try not to worry about what you are. The 'alcoholic' label really isn't that scary once you're already sober, any way. You think 'so what?' and get on with your sober life. It is only scary when it is involved with questioning whether you should quit drinking or not, it seems, and if quitting drinking is a scary prospect then it's probably best you quit, anyway, at least for a while.
Welcome to SR
this is a wonderful place full of lots of supportive people.
Re-Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Colorado Springs, Colorado
Posts: 7,583
Just qwuit for 30 days and see how you feel. If it is no big deal and no craving to drink the whole time then back down and moderate. But if you go through detox and then have cravings you are having an addiction issue. What you call it is less important than deciding how far down you want your bottom to be, because you are heading for one in time.
Even wanting to avoid abstaining and making up reasons to get a definition instead of actually doing that is a good indicator right there.
Non alcoholics don't think about drinking, are not getting antsy when they are close to drink time. They don't have a drink for months sometimes and it isn't conscious. Us alcoholics can't go a day or night when we would normally be drinking without without obsessing over it.
Even wanting to avoid abstaining and making up reasons to get a definition instead of actually doing that is a good indicator right there.
Non alcoholics don't think about drinking, are not getting antsy when they are close to drink time. They don't have a drink for months sometimes and it isn't conscious. Us alcoholics can't go a day or night when we would normally be drinking without without obsessing over it.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,759
Welcome to SR! I agree with others here: stop drinking for a month or two and see how it goes and how you feel. Then you'll know better if alcohol is a real problem for you or not.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 36
There are other options to help you sleep; light painkillers, herbal remedies, reading a very light novel... you don't have to go through bottles of wine just as a solution to not being able to sleep or relax. The problem about alcohol or any drug is that while it is a tool, you can also become a tool of the drug. Have you been drinking heavily for weeks, months, years? Of what time of that have you been relying on that? It's something you can only ask yourself. If it's time to make changes in your life then do it one step at a time.
You might not want to quit drinking now, because it gives you some satisfaction, but trust me, there are people who know for sure that drinking caused them misery beyond anything that they knew before, so definitely listen to them.
You might not want to quit drinking now, because it gives you some satisfaction, but trust me, there are people who know for sure that drinking caused them misery beyond anything that they knew before, so definitely listen to them.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 864
Figuring out if there is a problem? I highly doubt you would asking the questions you are if you didn’t already have some of the answers you need.
Really what do you think, because what any of here think just pertains to us, not to you.
I was a black out drinker by age 12, lacking an off button but then with everything it wasn’t just alcohol or the drugs that were very present.
When I stopped using at 18 I knew the alcohol and the drugs were a huge problem, there were definitive signs. I put myself in yet another dangerous situation, blew my finals for college, was on the verge of suicide cause I knew in the moment the answer …had been on a week long crank run … and love it, that is the scary part for me.
When I picked back up some 20 years later. There was no blackout. I’m way past blacking out then you miss the good stuff … That first time where I caught myself staring at the walls was like being able to breathe again. I drank almost every night and if I just looked at the drinking which I did most days. How could it be a big deal, so what I had 4, 5, 6 beers … but I wasn’t just drinking I was taking downs as well. And all day it was do, get done, rush, manipulate the scenes just to get to 7, 8 to drink, to shut off, or light me up which was more the case … My alcohol intake never increased, but the amount of pills I was taking did. And they got earlier and earlier in the day …
I didn’t have any special revelation as to why I stopped. I knew from the get go, this wasn’t good for me, having learned this lesson already but it didn’t matter because I was so f*cked up in my own head that it again took on a means to survive myself and the world around…in my head using was always a means to survive another moment, another day…
The alcohol and or drugs are always just a symptom, or at least I think so. For me I stood no chance if I didn’t fix my inside, the way I thought, the memories I let eat me alive, made peace with my past, forgave my abuser …
Take good care of you.
Really what do you think, because what any of here think just pertains to us, not to you.
I was a black out drinker by age 12, lacking an off button but then with everything it wasn’t just alcohol or the drugs that were very present.
When I stopped using at 18 I knew the alcohol and the drugs were a huge problem, there were definitive signs. I put myself in yet another dangerous situation, blew my finals for college, was on the verge of suicide cause I knew in the moment the answer …had been on a week long crank run … and love it, that is the scary part for me.
When I picked back up some 20 years later. There was no blackout. I’m way past blacking out then you miss the good stuff … That first time where I caught myself staring at the walls was like being able to breathe again. I drank almost every night and if I just looked at the drinking which I did most days. How could it be a big deal, so what I had 4, 5, 6 beers … but I wasn’t just drinking I was taking downs as well. And all day it was do, get done, rush, manipulate the scenes just to get to 7, 8 to drink, to shut off, or light me up which was more the case … My alcohol intake never increased, but the amount of pills I was taking did. And they got earlier and earlier in the day …
I didn’t have any special revelation as to why I stopped. I knew from the get go, this wasn’t good for me, having learned this lesson already but it didn’t matter because I was so f*cked up in my own head that it again took on a means to survive myself and the world around…in my head using was always a means to survive another moment, another day…
The alcohol and or drugs are always just a symptom, or at least I think so. For me I stood no chance if I didn’t fix my inside, the way I thought, the memories I let eat me alive, made peace with my past, forgave my abuser …
Take good care of you.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: NY
Posts: 227
Thanks to everyone for your thoughtful replies.
I guess I know I have a problem and it doesn't matter if I am an alcoholic or not. The common suggestion to quit for 30 or 90 days or whatever scares me, that is for sure. Even if it was just a beer or two at times, I probably haven't not had a drink for more than a couple of days in over 15 years. And the amount of times where its more like a pint of whiskey has definitely been increasing over the past couple of years.
I keep coming up with excuse after excuse to type here now explaining or justifying why i am about to have a couple of beers.
The real question now is: I know I have a problem and do I want to do something about it now? I don't know the answer to that question.
I guess I know I have a problem and it doesn't matter if I am an alcoholic or not. The common suggestion to quit for 30 or 90 days or whatever scares me, that is for sure. Even if it was just a beer or two at times, I probably haven't not had a drink for more than a couple of days in over 15 years. And the amount of times where its more like a pint of whiskey has definitely been increasing over the past couple of years.
I keep coming up with excuse after excuse to type here now explaining or justifying why i am about to have a couple of beers.
The real question now is: I know I have a problem and do I want to do something about it now? I don't know the answer to that question.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,526
Hi misterritter. It's good that you're asking these questions. For me, there was no off switch once it was in my system. Once in awhile I held it down to 'a few', but normally once I started to drink the outcome was unpredictable. Many times I found myself in a dangerous situation, when I'd only intended to have a couple drinks.
I hope you'll keep reading & posting as you decide what your next step will be. We care about you.
I hope you'll keep reading & posting as you decide what your next step will be. We care about you.
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Welcome misterritter -
I sat on the fence for a while before I was able to make the commitment to stop drinking. Even then, it was really scary to think about life without alcohol.
Once I had a few days sober, though, I noticed I was calmer and woke up with a positive attitude instead of being tired and depressed. This forum helped me get through the cravings and I just took it a day at a time.
Glad you're here and recognize that you may have a problem. Keep reading - there's lots of inspiration here and we all understand what it's like to struggle with this.
I sat on the fence for a while before I was able to make the commitment to stop drinking. Even then, it was really scary to think about life without alcohol.
Once I had a few days sober, though, I noticed I was calmer and woke up with a positive attitude instead of being tired and depressed. This forum helped me get through the cravings and I just took it a day at a time.
Glad you're here and recognize that you may have a problem. Keep reading - there's lots of inspiration here and we all understand what it's like to struggle with this.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: NY
Posts: 227
Originally Posted by artsoul
Welcome misterritter -
Glad you're here and recognize that you may have a problem. Keep reading - there's lots of inspiration here and we all understand what it's like to struggle with this.
Glad you're here and recognize that you may have a problem. Keep reading - there's lots of inspiration here and we all understand what it's like to struggle with this.
One funny response I was about to write to the suggestions about quitting for a while was along the lines of 'but you don't know how hard or scary that is'. But then I realized anyone responding to my email would know exactly what I meant. Just something that made me smile.
Self recovered Self discovered
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Toronto Canada
Posts: 5,148
Yep, all of us who are now sober know exactly how hard and scary it was for us to accomplish what you are considering. We did it. You are no different in the way in which alcohol affects you, nor any different in the challenges you face in quitting.
You can quit drinking if you choose to quit drinking. Believe in yourself and your ability to stop, and then make a plan. Are you ready to make your plan about continuing to use alcohol?
You can quit drinking if you choose to quit drinking. Believe in yourself and your ability to stop, and then make a plan. Are you ready to make your plan about continuing to use alcohol?
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