Dorris

It's day 13 for me and this is the first time I have really wanted a drink, yes everyday nearly all day I think about alcohol but this wanting a drink it's an awful feeling.

I'm trying to keep busy washing, cleaning, getting the children ready for bed and school tomorrow.

I hope it passes, the last thing I want is to put them in the car in their pj while I drive to the shop to buy a bottle of vodka and two bottles of diet coke.

Sobersunshine

Think through the drink! Think of where that drink will lead. Then think of all the good things that will happen if you don't drink. Take it one minute at time time. The craving will pass. Drink some cold water. Are you hungry? Eat something. Take some deep breaths. You can do this!

Dorris

Thank you, all I have done is eat today, Since about dinner time I could feel this rage building inside me, I snapped half a dozen times at my son. I'm angry with myself and I know that first drink will relax me and calm me......... but I also know then near the nd of the bottle I'll be recked and would have lost all control.

I am fighting this one, can't wait for the children to be alseep. I know I won't wake them to go out.

RevivingOphelia

I'm struggling too, Dorris. I hope we both can make it through today.

tanja

Dorris and RevivingOphelia,

Hang in there. Your are doing things differently by posting here. Your not alone. I know patience is a huge issue for me. Try and practice patience and self-soothing activities to get through the urge. Changing your way of thinking is huge. Tell yourself "I will make it through today and doing so I will have doged a bullet". Envision how proud of yourself you will be as opposed to feeling miserable.

onlythetruth

Here's a cut and paste from the SMART Recovery website about a tool called "DISARM" which can be very helpful with strong cravings. I hope it helps!

Destructive Imagery and Self-talk Awareness and Refusal Method (DISARM)

DISARM is a tool which exposes the self-talk and images which tell us to use, as lies, excuses, and rationalizations. It challenges those urge-producing thoughts at every opportunity, shooting them down like a gunslinger or reducing them to the point of absurdity.

All humans, not just humans with substance abuse problems, have thoughts, urges, or other impulses, which, if followed, would harm their long-term interests. Realizing the power of what you think/believe about strong urges to use, and changing that distorted thinking, is crucial to your success. Indeed, the trouble with a philosophy of 'Eat, drink and be merry for tomorrow we die' is that tomorrow comes and we aren't dead!

So, we are wise to first make ourselves aware of our destructive self-talk (thinking that is contrary to our long-term interests) and then refuse to go along with it. While you cannot will yourself not to have certain thoughts or feelings, including strong urges, you can learn how to recognize the thoughts that actually drive your urges and how to refuse to go along with them. You can learn to DISARM them and walk away from the situation or get yourself involved with something other than focusing on your urge to use.

WHEN IT IS USED: When you're having strong urges -- whether or not you've given in to them.

Ask and answer the following questions:

1. Question: Do I have to give in to the urge because it is intense and hard to resist?
Answer: No, I don't have to give in. Because the urge is strong, it would be easy to give in, but I don't HAVE TO. I have had urges that I did not give in to, therefore it must be possible to resist.

2. Question: Will it be awful to deny myself by not giving into the urge?
Answer: No, it won't be awful. It may be quite unpleasant, but unpleasant is not awful, it's just unpleasant. If I don't give in to the urge, it will get weaker and come less frequently. If I do give in, the urge will stay strong, be harder to resist next time and show up more frequently.

3. Question: Is it really unbearable not to give into this urge?
Answer: I don't like the way it feels to deny my urge, but since it doesn't kill me not to give in, I can keep on resisting. (Remember, individuals drinking large amounts of alcohol may need to go to a detox center when they first stop because the sudden end of alcohol really could be injurious.)

4. Question: Am I somehow entitled to be able to give up using without strong urges to go back to using?
Answer: No! I don't have a note from God, my mother, SMART Recovery group members or anyone else which entitles me not to have strong urges to use. It may be unpleasant to resist some of my urges, but no one gave me a 'get out of unpleasantness free' card.

The DISARM method allows the individual experiencing the craving to carefully and rationally answer a few key questions. The results will help the individual to understand that the urge truly can be overcome, and that as success is experienced, the urges will be less strong and will occur less frequently.


DISARMING the 'Salesman'

Some people find it helpful to use a technique to dissociate yourself from the voice inside each of us which says, 'It's a good idea to do something self- destructive.' It is a game you can play with yourself, which might help you to:

a.) identify the specific thoughts which, if followed, would lead to using when you have already decided that, in the long term, this choice is not for you, and

b.) steadfastly refuse to go along with this thinking no matter how attractive it might seem.
Instead of talking yourself into lapsing you can develop powerful countering and coping statements. To do this, it may help to invent and personify an 'enemy' who lives in your mind, and whose only purpose is to get you to use. The Salesman (your alter ego) knows you well, and can change form to take advantage of your weakest moments. Name your salesman (i.e., gangster, enemy, diplomat, weasel, etc.). When urges come, ask yourself, 'What is she/he telling me now? How is she/he trying to trick me?


When thoughts are identified:

1. Without debate, ATTACK the salesman with powerful counter statements: 'Nice try, jerk. You can't fool me!' You can be as aggressive or profane as your nature allows with the Salesman- after all, s/he is trying to screw up your life.

2. Then quickly FOCUS on some other thoughts, images, or activities which are consistent with what you want in the long run and inconsistent with what the Salesman is saying. The Salesman then loses his power and fades away.

Later on, you can submit the Salesman's tricks to an ABC analysis in order to dispute them. You usually discover irrational themes and patterns to the thoughts and arguments the Enemy throws at you. While coping statements alone will often work, it is important not to omit disputing. If your coping statements aren't working, it is because you don't believe them as strongly as you believe your Salesman's pitch. Through disputing we can develop powerful coping statements you fully believe for use in the future. Through actually resisting the Salesman's suggestions, you become increasingly better at doing it.

Michael66

Hang in there Doris. The urge will pass.

stevie88

Dorris and RevivingOphelia,I have been in your shoe's since 18.00pm last night,I fought it all of last night and spent the first 12 hours of today fighting it...That's what you gotta do...Fight it,I didn't give in,I didn't want to let myself and others down...Just gotta fight it.....

Dorris

Thanks OTT, that's real thoughtful of you to post. I hope you know where I'm coming from when I say I did read it but my heads not in the right place to take it in.

I just feel so crazy like my thoughts are spinning.

Tanja and Michael I'm hanging on.

Reviving Ophelia and Stevie, we can do this, stay tight and fight it.

Dorris

It is passing slowly I feel less erratic right this min x

RevivingOphelia

Thanks, everyone. I just feel so down being back only on day four. I don't even know why I bother counting anymore. I also ran into some people (ex work colleagues) when I was drinking last and am *still* cringing that I was too loud etc.

Thanks for letting me express myself on your thread, Dorris. Best to you and all.

Admiral

Someone said this in another thread and it really stuck with me;

How many times have you woken up the next day and regretted NOT drinking?

The answer is never, at least for me it is, there has never been a time when I resisted the urge and then woke up the next day and said "Gee I really wish I had grabbed a bottle last night."

Pondlady

Dorris and Ophelia,
I think we learn to calm ourselves by drinking...of course we know where that leads. I was in the worst mood the other day....plenty had gone wrong....and it all got to me Oddly, I didn't think of drinking (but will not let my guard down), but of other compulsive behaviors...eating , shopping etc. I knew the feelings would pass if I could just get through it. We had tickets to a play, a funny one, and laughing really made me feel better. Problems that ticked me off, still remain today, but am soldiering on.

ACT10Npack

Have you ever thought about changing your thought from I want a drink to it wants to drink? Could help!

DarkDays

Look if you drink and you go back to it, you will eventually want to stop again I can guarantee that.

You will then have to go through these baby steps early days again.

Really not worth it, they are only cravings, just ride them out. They will pass.

MIRecovery

AA is the only thing that work for me. I needed the support others in recovery

Dee74

This was useful for me:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...e-surfing.html

Hang in there guys...I really believe all of us are stronger than we know...if we'd just give ourselves the chance

D

Dorris

You will be pleased to know I survived the night with lots of pop thanks all.

Nos da x

Dee74

way to go Dorris

D

nonblondechef

Way to go, Dorris - mega awesome victory!