GottaWonder

Gigabit - that's fairly sound advice, I will ask my wife to dispose of it or give it away while I'm away at work for the week'

MrsKing - more good advice, I haven't thought much beyond getting past a week at this point. My current plan mostly consists of avoiding everyone that I can for a bit.

Hollyanne - I of course want to give the answer that I was a considerate drunk and behaved myself well, but I know, at the very least, I've said some hurtful things and was too drunk or lazy to get things accomplished that needed done. I'll accept the fact that I was probably a bigger a--hole then I am in my mind.

Today I'm looking for a meeting. I originally thought it'd be great to get back to meetings as I used to attend with a friend years ago and enjoyed them, but now I realize I'm going for me, which plays with my mindset a little.

Iamanalcoholic

Your wife probably had the same reaction as mine when I have told her previously that I was stopping drinking. It's just hard to believe. I'm not telling her this time until she asks, which I suspect will take at least 5 days of no drinking or maybe a week. Let's put it this way: if you were in your wife's shoes and you were told that you were stopping drinking, would you believe it? I know I wouldn't believe me, even if I didn't think I was being lied to....just that saying and actually doing are different.

GottaWonder

Found a meeting that I can make it to tomorrow afternoon.

For alcoholism being a progressive disease that sneaks up on you, recovery apparently isn't. I've been numbing my emotions for years by drinking and they've started to come back. They don't slowly creep back into my life. Their presence is about as subtle as a 2x4 to the face. I've gotten used to being stoic. Now my reactions are over the top. I don't let a tear roll down my cheek, I sob. I don't get annoyed, I yell (not in public, I know how to seethe until I get somewhere to let out my anger). Joy washing over me is a paralyzing experience. It's going to take some getting used to having emotions again.

2granddaughters

Have a great meeting. You'll find your answers there.

All the best.

Bob R

artsoul

You'll get there..... At first, it seemed like my emotions were all over the place and changed every 10 minutes. I had to stop during the day just to check in with myself and see what I was feeling. After some time sober, I learned to accept them as a part of life. Keep up the good work - Things will eventually smooth out.

sobertime1

hey fellow philly person i am the same boat good luck! good support here

sobertime1

lol there are i am sure - i noticed some people from bucks. i am having probs private messaging ugg i have to go to the forum.
anyway hope your doing well today