Mescal

Well I did it again. Got loaded, upset my wife, even managed to pass out on the bathroom floor. Then when I woke up and saw it was only 8 pm I drank more and woke up on the couch this morning. So I've spent today feeling sorry for myself and wondering what the heck I have to do to get sober. Ive heard people say that alcoholics don't get and stay sober until they hit bottom or have some catastrophic event. By shear luck I've avoided that event but I don't want to hit bottom. I'm pretty close and just tired. Tired of it all. Maybe that can be my bottom. I need sobriety because I've just become such a hollow person, then of course I drink more to try and fill that void. Vicious cycle. I want to reintroduce myself to the me of 12 years ago.

Sapling

I've heard it said that your bottom is when you stop digging...Do you have any plans on how you are going to stop...And stay stopped?

Mescal

I started back to counseling a couple weeks ago, I am definitely continuing with that. She also recommended switching my medication which I'm doing as well. Im wrestling with Going to AA, I've gone in the past but don't feel comfortable. I think it's just going to be a lot of willpower

ACT10Npack

do what it take to stop drinking. Good luck

Sapling

I wasn't comfortable either...But it was better than drinking. My will power didn't work. I got 15 months this week. At least you know AA will be there if you need it. Glad you're back...Keep reading and posting.

Caledonia1

I had always heard that too but for me my rock bottom was when I no longer liked what I seen in the mirror.
Some say alcoholism is like a bus journey and everyone gets off at a differnt stop.
Well I sure don't want to get back on.
I wish you all the very best and SR is a great support as too is AA for me.
Take care! Stay strong!

Mescal

I'm going to swallow what little pride I have left and go back to AA. There is a meeting in a few hours

jennikate

I felt that way (about AA) for a long time. I went in and out. This last time something changed. Maybe I was just completely broken. Now I'm sitting here waiting to go to a meeting to get my 4 month chip. Can't wait to see my group and to be at a meeting. I had to be open minded and willing to listen. Not saying you're not, just saying what helped me out.

Sapling

Nothing wrong with that...By the way...My bottom was losing my wife of 17 years...My house...My job....And my dignity.

Southerner

Your pride should grow through that act. It is easy to conquer when everything is going your way. However, it takes a real winner to snatch victory from the snarling maws of defeat. Start taking pride in your realizations and your attempts to get it all straightened out. Start liking yourself more for the fact that you want to be better to yourself. I see things looking rather promising for you because you are making astute assessments and admitting hard things. Your situation is FAR from hopeless!

Caledonia1

Good for you Mescal!

Sapling, thank you for sharing that, difficult to put into words how that makes me feel for you. I do hope you have found happiness again.

Sapling

I was handed a free gift with AA....Grace. And I opened it.

Caledonia1

It is a wonderful fellowship indeed.

artsoul

Welcome back, Mescal!

I agree with the others about rock bottom - it's more of a question about when you want to stop the downward spiral.....

Glad you're going to a meeting. When I was drinking, I sat around a lot and thought about things, thought about all my problems, thought about how scared I was to get sober, etc. and it only made me feel worse. I had to force myself to take action and "just do it." That's when things turned around.

You can do it too - We're here for you!

IndaMiricale

Thats it exactly , because that saying of hitting bottom is fairly relitive.. In the end reslut the only real bottom is one of three options..

The Big House, The Nut House, or The Ice House

are the true end resluts of this insantity...


Good for you on gettting back to AA, those doors are always open. And we are always happy your back. I have never yet had someone come back and tell me it got better out there..

Dee74

Welcome back Mescal

D

Mescal

Well I went to AA tonight. Ironically the topic was hitting bottom, what finally did it for you. There was a lot of good thoughts. I'm glad I went. I want to commit to working the steps since I did not do that the first time round.

Sapling

Awesome...You got a hand picked topic. I'll tell you what I have learned in 15 months in AA....For the most part...The ones that work the steps make it....The ones that don't....Don't.

YVRguy

Hey Mescal , glad your giving AA a try. I didn't quite lose as much as Sapling , close though and knew my will power was no match for what I was facing. Oh I tried all of my will power and man I spent so much energy on that only it did not work. I was addicted to the crap and no rational thinking or will power stopped me, but that's me.

I was finally ready to sit down , listen carefully and do some work. It actually does not take long to get something back and give something back if you really put in the effort. I combine AA with SMART Recovery as I don't view them as opposing each other but different tool sets as I am using everything all out this time. Even in a short time I got some relief because I was no longer fighting so hard a foe I stood no chance of defeating. I turned all that energy toward looking at what has worked for others.

I will be in a led step group shortly and I think what Sapling says is true from what the long term sober people I can call friends say about how they changed and got some peace and serenity.

I am grateful I did not lose more till I got into action as I sure could have quite easily. I guess there is no better day than today to get a plan and take come action because you never have to take another drink toward something below the bottom you have felt already.

ru12

"Ive heard people say that alcoholics don't get and stay sober until they hit bottom or have some catastrophic event."

This may be true for some, but it wasn't for me. I got sober when I stopped drinking alcohol. Pretty simple really.

You do not have to hit some horrible bottom to stop poisoning yourself with alcohol. You just have to stop ingesting ethanol. For me, I simply had enough and put it down and walked away. I will have two years this December. I can be done, and you can do it too!