ziney

Hello everyone-I haven't been on here in quite some time but I'm back.I quit drinking for about 5 months-about 2 weeks ago,I drank a fifth in 3 short days another fifth and then a gallon! I am so disgusted with myself, why oh God why? I just wanna stay messed up so I don't have to face reality. I don't find joy in anything any more.I lie and sneak around all the time.My husband is so sick of it and I don't blame him at all.I'm thinking about going now to get more.I make myself sick.Why can't I just stop forever? I've ruined all my children, my relationship with my husband and I don't know if I will ever be able to mend it.So depressed and sick to death of being this way.I just don't know what to do any more.Just when I stupidly thought I may have actually conquered it, I realized it has conquered me.

Daisy1981

Dont give up Ziney you did so well. Just think of it as a learning curve and try again. What support sustems have you got in place? Use them again. Youve come on here so that a start. I believe that if you really want some thing it can happen with hard work x

karilynn27

Your back here so that's a good start. I too am married and have children. I thought all was lost. It is not.
You made it 5 months before, try making it through the night without getting any more. You can do it.
Stick to one day at a time, hour by hour.
You are worth it. Remember, you are a gift.

Dee74

Welcome back Ziney
I moved your thread here - you'll get more feedback

How did you stay sober before?
D

ziney

So glad to hear from everyone.I know I'm a complete sad sack! I get so tired of bitching. How did I stay sober? I saw myself through my children's eyes when I woke up in the hospital after another binge and I saw so much pain and hurt there. It disgusts me that I have to be so weak..I'm just so tired, you know? Would anyone like to share sobriety stories with me? I could use good news right now...

Dee74

There's a lot of inspiration here Ziney:
Stories of Recovery - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

Maybe it's time to call in some reinforcements?

There's a lot of different approaches and methods of recovery around - here's some links to some of the main players:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...formation.html

I recommend you visit the Secular Connections forum if you think you may benefit from a non 12 step approach too.

Check out your options - what have you got to lose?

D

Vall

Dear Ziney,

as everyone is saying, you have done it before so can do it again. Dee is right though to say that you may need extra help as you sound very upset and down.

I am sure that your loved ones know that you don't want to be like this.

Sometimes saying sorry helps and be kind to yourself toox

ziney

With all of your help,I made it through the night sober.Dee, I'm diligently reading all the info you posted to me,thank you thank you! Tomorrow,I'm putting a serious plan into action-all I want is sobriety.Peace and Love

Dee74

great to hear Ziney

D