Letustry

I'm not sure where to start. Basically, I'm a binge drinker. I can't "drink like a normal person". It actually baffles me when people have like 3 drinks, and that's all. Why? What's the point of just having 3 drinks? Really I think I've been self medicating for PTSD. I was in New York on 9/11 and I've never been the same. Monday night, I drank all night long again (14 drinks). I decided for my mental and physical health that I need to do at least 30 days sober.

It seems fairly easy for me to just not drink. What's hard for me is "drinking normally". If I start drinking, I don't stop until the sun comes up. I've been to some AA meetings (my father swears by it), but it's not for me. Some of it, like when someone says, "I've been 2 weeks without a drink." and someone else responds, "Wow! That's awesome!" it just smells like BS to me. So, please don't patronize me. I'm very smart, and I see through that stuff too easily.

But the reason I'm here is, this is not the first time I have told myself that I was going to stop for a certain period of time. Of course, I never succeed. I think for a time it actually helped calm me, but now drinking amplifies my manic moods.

Also, I'm worried that I'll do 30 days and then, celebrate, and find myself right back where I am now.

I have a doctors appointment tomorrow, and will talk with her about it. I may never be a happy, "normal", person, but right now, drinking is not helping.

Any advice you guys have, I would like to hear.

SoberForMySon

Good luck! Glad you are posting. AA isn't for all. There are other options.

Dejvice

You did not say how offer you binge drink.

Letustry

I think you mean "often".

I'd say about twice a week for the last 10 years.

MrsKing

Yep... sounds exactly like me.

Welcome to SR you'll find lots of support and encouragement here.

I don't use AA, either. There are quite a few of us here that don't. You can check out the discussions on other methods in the secular connections forum on this board.

Letustry

One thing is, I'm a little torn about telling family and friends. I think mostly I am worried about failing, or them lecturing me, but not really understanding the issues. I think if I can get a couple weeks under my belt, people will notice that I haven't been drinking and then I can just go, "Yeah, I just decided to stop for awhile." like it's no big deal ... but I know, deep down inside, it is a big deal.

doggonecarl

BS? It's called support. It's what we are asked to provide here to newcomers, like yourself. So welcome!

Okay, I won't patronize. Lose the ego. Your smarts aren't keeping you from drinking, are they? You'll get support here. Accept it graciously.

Dejvice

Somtimes I could go without a drink for a day or so......(but not so often in last few years)..I would have a beer to cure the hangover. Many times went drinking with a promise to have 2 drinks.....only to end up on a binge.....6...7....8.....9...drinks and so on. I am dry since 30 August. Give it try being dry because one thing is for sure over time one's reliance on alcohol increases beyond control and will destroy your life. I remember 15 years ago I would go to the pub only on a Friday.

Letustry

I realize that comes across as being egotistical. Perhaps I should have phrased it differently. What I was trying to say is that overly enthusiastic praise, for NOT doing something, it just puts me off.

doggonecarl

Understood. I read those same sentiments in the friends and family section, with them wondering why their spouse, child, or loved one wants praise for something they shouldn't be doing anyways.

But as someone who drank every day for over 30 years, when I went any length of time without drinking, it was a big deal. And when I received praise from those who had been in my same shoes, who knew how hard it was to go ONE DAY without drinking, it meant a lot.

Not so much now. I'm past counting days. I'm counting years.

Wishing you the best.

Letustry

I haven't gone 2 days in a row drinking, in a long time. I'm always too hungover!

Dee74

Welcome letustry

You'll find a lot of support here.

I also recommend you visit the Secular Connections forum if you think you may benefit from a non 12 step approach, like AVRT or SMART.

D

Hevyn

Glad to have you join us, Letustry. It feels good to talk about it & know you're not alone. I hope you'll find the encouragement you need here so you can have a better life.