Julynine

I am 8 weeks sober today and very greatful for my sobriety and for the support I get from this forum. I am more productive, less anxious, have better relationships with my loved ones, lost a little weight and have a more positive outlook for the future.

I have reached the 2 to 4 month stage on a number of occasions in previous attempts to quit drinking only to convince myself that I can return to moderated consumption and that things really weren't that bad! Those decisions lead to several months of heavy drinking before another attempt at sobriety.

This is why I call it my danger zone (the top gun theme keeps going round in my head at the moment ;-). The first few weeks of sobriety are very difficult as we all know but I always manage to get through them as I see it as a big challenge and my motivation is really strong. Months 2 to 4 however are a different story. Motivation starts to fade a little, frustration starts to surface from the effect of PAWS and I start to question my decision because I forget what it was really like to be an alcoholic.

For me the next 2 months are more difficult than the first 2 because in the past I have become complacent and haven't put the same amount of effort into my sobriety. This time will be different and I will retain the focus. I am feeling much better for one reason only........ I have stopped pouring alcohol into my body.

For everyone who is at a similar stage in their recovery, keep the focus, remind yourself what your life was like as an alcoholic and let this be the last time we have to go back to day one!



Julynine

aeo1313

I am 4 months sober today and around every month milestone my AV pops up and tries to convince me to drink. That little bugger is very predictable so I just ignore him and go on with my sober plans!

Abetterway

Hi 79,
Great topic. I am approaching 9 months sober and feeling the same way. It scares me because i've been thinking about the pleasure being drunk brought me and having to remind myself of the pain. When i first committed to not drinking the pain was much more on my mind.

I hope that a few members with long term sobriety will ad insights soon.

mecanix

Yeh life is full of dangerzones, just have to stay humble before my adiciton every day is a reprieve and therefore a gift .

Bestwishes, M

NoFireWater

Great post! I'm experiencing the same thing, have to remind myself of why I'm here. You do get into a routine where it seems to feel easier, and then you feel like it's not as big of an issue as you thought. Keeping the focus is so important. I have reminders of how bad things can get as I work at a bar part time. I see people with health issues and duis each week so it helps to keep me looking at the big picture.

Admiral

The exact same thing happens to me.

When I get to the later weeks I start to fantasize about how fun it would be to pick up or go to the liquor store again. The thing to realize is that by the time you come to this forum it's not fun any more. The memories are all from a long time ago back when it WAS fun and new, but those times are gone. Every time I've started using again it's the same old thing; the youtube videos aren't as funny, the food doesn't taste as good and the music doesn't sound as good. I set myself up for this amazing experience and that's just not the way it is any more.

For me personally, the feeling of failure is actually the worst part of relapsing. Has there ever been a time when I've woken up the next day and thought "Wow, what a night that was last night, can't wait to do it again!" No, never. Even if I flush everything and clear out the house, I'll feel the lingering guilt and disappointment for weeks to come.

I've come to realize that there is no safe time, the addictive voice will come back eventually and I have to be ready for it.

Auvers

Yes, remind ourselves of what life was like waking up hungover and sorry about one thing and another, remind ourselves of how life has changed for the better, and keep saying NEVER back to the old way.

Happyfeet

I am also in my danger zone. I have 50 days and this is when I convince myself that I can handle a drink. I got my Antabuse prescription filled to have as a crutch to get me through this tough time. Haven't taken one yet because I am afraid of the reaction. Not because of drinking alcohol but because of the alcohol in vinegar, mustard and ketchup! Looks like I may have to give them up until get thru this hump.

freshstart57

There is a delicious way to handle our own personal danger zones, whether it's time of day, Friday night, the one month / two month /three month marker. The dread that we can feel as these times approach is the knowledge that we will hear some of these:

• I deserve a drink after that day I had today / this week.
• I need a drink after what just happened to me.
• I've been sober now for a month / two months / six months and this proves that I have it under control and can have just a couple.
• It wasn't really that bad, what I just lived through, I can go through detox again if I have to.
• My drinking wasn't that bad, really, and I won't let it happen again to me.
• I've quit for this time, so now I know how to control my drinking.

All of these thoughts come to the same thing- my alcoholic voice is telling me that it wants a drink, and it is trying to get me to change my mind about staying sober. That is all it is, there is no mystery or puzzle about this. Your beast will say anything, use any hope or fear that you have to get you to change your mind.

So, OK, now what? How to deal with this? You can start by recognizing it for what it is. There is no cunning, no bafflement, no power in this voice. It has no power of its own, and can only feed itself by getting you to drink. You don't have to drink anymore, in fact, you have chosen to never drink again. Any doubt about this, or thought about changing your mind, is your alcoholic voice, nothing more than that.

Just recognize it, stare at it, and it will go away, leaving you calm, serene, peaceful and sober. You have won.

sugarbear1

there's a thread for the class of July 2012

hypochondriac

Well done for recognising this as a danger zone JulyNine, that's half the battle. I know I had to put more effort in after 3 months to keep going.

Well done on 8 weeks x